Always
by Rinso
Summary: What if Severus Snape decided to take matters into his own hands when he learned that Voldemort was going to kill the Potters? What if his love for Lily was stronger than his fascination with the Dark Arts or his hunger for power? Harry Potter AU, set during the end of the First Wizarding War.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

**October 30, 1981, Spinner's End**

This was the worst pain he had ever suffered. And it wasn't as if he was a man with a little experience in the matters of pain. He knew what it felt like to watch your own father backhand your mother before turning his fists on you. He knew what if felt like to feel worthless because you lacked money. He knew what if felt like to be ostracized, to be hated and humiliated. He knew what the Cruciatus Curse felt like, an agony so searing that it made people beg for death through tears and screams. He knew what it felt to know that you drove the love of your life away, straight into the arms of your most hated rival.

And none of it could compare to what he was feeling right now. Severus Snape sat alone in the dark and dusty living room at Spinner's End and thought that he was just about to go insane. His head was pounding, as if a dozen trolls were hitting it with spiked clubs. He wanted to scream, to cry, to roar with anguish but his throat was so tight and constricted that he was barely able to breathe.

His hands were shaking. He drove his palms through his greasy black locks, his bony fingers twisted with tension. For far too long he had been living with the dread that every morning might be the one when he learned that it had finally happened. The Dark Lord had grown extremely restless and Severus knew it was only a matter of time now.

She was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it.

_Why?! Why, why, why, why?!_His own voice screamed inside his head. _Why did I tell him about the prophecy? My fault, all of it!_

Severus wanted to curl up on the creaky floor and sink straight to Hell. Such a wretched creature like him did not deserve to live. _She's going to die and it's my fault! My Lily… Oh, Lily… Forgive me…_

Dimly, like a man recalling a drunken evening, he remembered confessing his crime to Dumbledore, swearing his fealty to the old Headmaster._Dumbledore said they are safe. Maybe…_

For a brief, pathetic moment his heart had the insolence to hope. But then his mind reeled back, engulfed by a sea of black desperation. _Who are you kidding, Snivellus? There is no hope. The Dark Lord is going to win. He's going to kill Potter and his son, then he's going to kill Dumbledore, and Black, and the Longbottoms, and Moody and the whole fucking Order. And her. Her. Lily. He's going to kill Lily. Because you betrayed her. After all, you will be the one who really murdered her._

He did cry out then, like a dying animal. Tears fell down his gaunt cheeks and his chest began to tremble with sobs. _What to do, what to do? Please, oh, please, just tell me what to do!_

But then again, he knew what to do. The answer was staring at him, with the bright, green eyes of the past. It was quite simple, actually. It was his love for Lily against his fear of the Dark Lord. And in his heart, Lily would always triumph against the Dark Lord. _Alls I have to do is save her. Or die trying_.

Severus knew one thing for certain – if he failed to save her, there was no point to continue living.

But in this time of despair, the Half-Blood Prince wasn't deluding himself. The Dark Lord was in a category of his own and Severus knew that he couldn't defeat him in combat. All he would accomplish would be to die screaming. _But maybe… maybe if I do it at the right moment, I can buy her some time… To escape and hide…_

It had to be done at exactly the right time. Not too early, and not too late. It had to be exactly when the Dark Lord was going to attack… no, exactly when he was _attacking_ the Potters. But how? He didn't even knew where they were. All he knew was that Dumbledore had promised to protect them.

_Are they hiding in Hogwarts? Hogsmeade?_ No, that didn't seem likely. Staunch and indestructible it may seem, but the school was going to be invaded sooner or later, and the Headmaster wouldn't risk the prophecy progeny to be anywhere near when that happened.

Severus began to pace around the house, unable to contain his anxiety. His mind was working furiously, as he mumbled brokenly to himself. A small part of him realized that he probably looked like a desperate madman.

Maybe they had left Britain. Merlin himself knew that was a sensible choice. A lot of wizarding families had already fled to the other side of the Atlantic, and some had even went as far as Australia and New Zealand. It was the _smart_ thing to do… _ Which is why James Potter would never do it. And neither would Lily. They would stand and fight against the Dark Lord, foolish Gryffindors._

But what then… What was Severus failing to consider? Then he almost felt the pieces of the puzzle clicking into togetherness. _Of course! The Fidelius Charm! They are hiding in plain sight, invisible and undetectable!_ His mind was beginning to soar, certain that he had found the right way.

He didn't even heard himself when he asked the question out loud, "But who is their keeper?"

Could it be Dumbledore himself? _No, too obvious_.

Someone from the Evans household? Petunia? _Lily would never endanger them, and Petunia doesn't want anything to do with our world. No…_

Sirius Black? Surely, it had to be Sirius Black. He and Potter were closer than many brothers. Black would never hesitate to guard his best friend's secret. And then it dawned him… _If I could come to this conclusion so quickly, so can the Dark Lord._And that could lead to two things – either the Potters had not thought of that, which meant that Sirius Black was now in mortal danger… or that they _had_, which meant that they must have chosen someone else, someone who wouldn't be such an easy answer.

_But who?_ _Lupin? No, the werewolf is almost as obvious as Black. Moody? Frank Longbottom? McGonagall? Hagrid? Emmeline Vance? _Every one of those people seemed a likely candidate, all of them brave, and trustworthy, and loyal. _My complete opposites._ And that meant that all of them were the _wrong fucking answers._

Snape growled with frustration. While he was sitting in Spinner's End, playing at riddles, Lily was in peril. What was he missing? What would _he_ do, if he had to choose a secret keeper for the Fidelius Charm? _Put some random muggle under the Imperius, most likely, make him the keeper, then order him to bury the memory beneath his conscience and go back to his life until I need him._ _But it's not how James Potter would do it._No, it had to be someone the Potters knew. Someone they trusted, and yet someone who would be beneath the attention of the Death Eaters…

And, then, sudden like a spring storm, the answer came to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**October 31, 1981, Diagon Alley**

Hallowe'en Eve was coming tonight and the autumn had turned brisk and cold. The morning had come with frost and winter chill. Severus Snape couldn't care less, as he strode through the wynds of Diagon Alley, his black robe billowing behind him. Inside of him roared a fire of anger, terror and determination; he had no time to ponder the weather.

_How hard could it be to find one man?_ he asked himself. He was supposed to be _good_ at this! Instead he was wandering aimlessly like a complete dunderhead, wasting away Lily's precious hours. Then again, his timetable was ridiculously short. The Dark Lord wasn't one to dally. _He could attack tonight. Or tomorrow. For all I know, he could be killing them right now…_Nobody among the Death Eaters had mentioned something, but then again, the Dark Lord wasn't about to give this task to just anyone. _He's not a fool. He knows that buffoons like Mulciber or Crabbe would just as likely fail, and he wouldn't trust the good ones with a task of such a magnitude. Lucius_ _is too self-serving, the Lestranges are insane, Rookwood is a spy in the Ministry so he won't risk him, Dolohov was wounded when they attacked Bones' family… No, the Dark Lord will want to do it himself, the arrogant bastard…_

If the task was to be given to the Death Eaters, Severus wouldn't have been so worried. Lily could take care of herself… and as much as he hated to admit it, Potter wasn't a weakling either; he might be the most repulsive creature to ever walk the Earth, but he knew how to fight. But no, this was a fool's hope. Yes, the Dark Lord rarely bothered personally with the attacks, even if it was about members of the Order of the Phoenix. Edgar Bones had been a member of the Order, and an Auror to boot, and yet he and his family were murdered by a mere gang of Death Eaters.

_But now it won't be like this. This damned prophecy…_ He wanted to throttle himself but it was no use. _I won't help Lily if I'm dead. The Dark Lord will kill me anyway but I must buy her a chance before that._ And to do that, he had to find _him._

Hours later noon was passing, and Severus was no closer to achieving his goal than he had been at dawn. He felt as if a deathly fist was beginning to slowly crush his lungs. If he failed to find him in time…

Then something caught the corner of his eye and he turned his head sharply to the right. He couldn't be sure – scores of witches and wizards were swarming the streets around him like beetles – but he thought he had glimpsed a familiar head of mouse-brown hair.

Severus headed in the direction he thought he saw it, roughly elbowing the crowds out of his way. _I have no time for patience and courtesy._He craned his neck left and right, up and down, and over his shoulder. He was almost running and skipping over the larger cobblestones. His eyes were darting in every direction, skimming over worthless people and scanning the corners suspiciously. He felt the cold touch of panic along his spine. _Where is he? I'm sure I saw him, where is he?!_

Suddenly, Severus' eyes landed on _The Leaky Cauldron_. Could it be? He had to take a gamble. If he went to take a look inside the inn, he would lose any chance to catch him if he was still somewhere outside. But there was no time for indecisiveness.

He entered slowly in the inn. The first few steps before his eyes adjusted to the gloom and the smoke puffs were filled with dread. _Oh, Merlin, let him be here, please…_ Then his breath froze in his mouth.

Just a few feet away, Peter Pettigrew was paying old Tom for a pint of lager.

Severus released his breath with a hiss. Thankfully, the inn was quite full and Pettigrew didn't hear and turn around. Snape felt like he could, for the first time in his life, howl with laughter and mirth. _Merlin, is this how hope tastes? So, so sweet…_

He hastily composed himself and retreated into a corner where he could watch Pettigrew but not risk being seen by the vermin himself. The small man downed his beer quickly and asked for another with a tremulous voice. _Good, the more drunk he is, the easier it will be._ Severus was still aware that time was terribly short, but he thought it would be more prudent to wait until Pettigrew left the inn. It would not do to attract attention.

As Pettigrew drank another pint, Snape managed to come with a plan that was sure to work. He mercilessly probed it for holes, as he waited his disgusting ex-schoolmate to finish drinking. _I must be prepared for every possibility, for every chance of failure._ Failure was not an option, not anymore. Lily's life was in his hands. _I wonder how would she feel right now if she knew that?_ He remembered that accursed day when their friendship had ended. _She'd be appalled, most like. As is her right, I betrayed her._ He wondered what she'd say if she found out that it was _Sev_who told the Dark Lord about the prophecy that now threatened her baby. Suddenly, he felt so filthy that he wanted to scream.

Two beers later, the afternoon winds were screeching outside _The Leaky Cauldron_. Finally, Peter Pettigrew decided he's had enough to drink and stumbled towards the exit. He walked right past Severus and didn't notice him at all, the small, vermin-like eyes focused dead ahead. Severus was ready. He had long ago pulled out his wand and held it prepared on his knees.

"_Silencio,_" he muttered softly. The spell hit Pettigrew and he didn't notice a thing. He fumbled to open the door. Snape was right behind him.

The coldness of the last day of October washed in both their faces, clearing Snape's mind. Peter Pettigrew stretched his stiff back and was about to walk away when a cool hand with long fingers clamped around his shoulder. He tried to curse as he turned his head around to see who the intruder was, but no sound came from his mouth. Then his beady eyes met Snape's black ones.

All the color disappeared from Pettigrew's face.

"Hello, Peter," Severus drawled. "Long time no see."

Snape hugged him with one arm, as if they were old friends. None of the wizards and witches around paid them any mind – after all, people stumbled like this all the time from the inn.

Then Snape disapparated them away.

With a _crack!_, the two men appeared in the small living room at Spinner's End. In the same moment they did, Severus released the small man who stumbled away and opened his mouth in a silent scream. _I have no time for this_. He pointed his wand at Peter.

"_Imperio,_" he said and Pettigrew suddenly stood still, as if he had been replaced by a wax replica of himself. With a flick of his black wand, Snape removed the effect of the Silencing Charm.

Severus eyed the immobile Pettigrew. "I will ask you some questions and you will answer them. You will tell me the absolute truth. You will obey all my commands. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Pettigrew's voice was devoid of his usual mouse-like chirruping, sounding completely hollow.

"Is your name Remus Lupin?"

"No."

"Is your name Peter Pettigrew?"

"Yes."

Severus nodded with his head towards the ancient sofa near the window.

"Go sit on the sofa." Pettigrew obediently headed that way, but froze in place when Snape said, "Wait. Sit on the floor." He obeyed. Severus was pleased. Not that he doubted that the Imperius Curse would do the trick, but he had to be sure. Veritaserum would have worked just as well, but he had no time to brew or go shopping. The Imperius would have to be enough.

Snape decided to dive straight ahead. The wretch was completely under his control and time was short. _Lily, remember Lily, what does the law mean when her life is in danger? Nothing!_ Not that Severus cared much about using the Unforgivable Curse. _I won't live to be imprisoned in Azkaban either way._ He took a deep breath.

"Are you the secret keeper for the Fidelius Charm the Potters use to hide from the Dark Lord?"

"Yes." The answer came without any hesitation. Snape hissed with relief. Even now, even in these horrible times, his intellect had saved him!

"Where are they?"

"Godric's Hollow, in a cottage near the river."

Severus glanced to the window. The afternoon was waning away, soon to be replaced by the evening of Hallowe'en. _Godric's Hollow… Good, I could probably arrive there before midnight_.

Severus was just about to tell Pettigrew to leave and forget about their conversation, when a thought occurred to him. The man was a vermin, and during all their years together at Hogwarts, Severus held a special place of loathing in his heart for him – the weak coward who could never compare to him, but who would be brave enough to snicker at Snape's humiliation as long as he stood behind Potter and Black. Suddenly, Severus thought that Peter Pettigrew was a terrible choice for a secret keeper. _No, the whole idea hinges on the fact that everyone knows just how pathetic he is, including the Death Eaters._ Still, it wouldn't hurt to be sure…

"Does anyone else know about their location?"

"Yes."

Severus' heart sunk. He tried to speak, but no sound came from his mouth. "W-who?" he finally managed to croak.

"You-Know-Who," the calm voice the Imperiused man made the phrase even more horrifying.

"You betrayed them…"

Snape had not meant this to be a question, but Pettigrew answered all the same, "Yes."

"_When?_"

"This morning."

_So that's why he was trying to drown himself in beer?_ Never in his life had Severus wanted more to hit a person with the Cruciatus. By Merlin, he was going to make the little rat scream… _No! There is no time! Think of Lily! For God's sake, forget revenge and think of her, you moron!_Besides, there was _something_ that Snape could do to make sure that Pettigrew got what he deserved.

He composed himself and with a voice that was cold as ice said, "You will go to Hogwarts tonight. You will ask to speak with Albus Dumbledore. If he asks why, tell him I sent you. Then you will extract your memories from today and will ask him to see them with you in his pensive. Then you will wait patiently for him to decide what to do with you. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Go, I don't want to look at you anymore."

Silently, Peter Pettigrew stood up and walked away. He never saw Severus crumbling down on the floor with a cry of utter desolation and horror.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

**October 31, 1981, Godric's Hollow**

He had arrived too late. He knew it.

Severus had never been in Godrc's Hollow and had lost some precious time until he found it. Once there, he went straight to the cottage that Pettigrew had described. Or at least he tried. All the houses in the blasted village had looked alike, sleeping in the cold night. He lost more minutes while he scrambled through to find the river.

When he finally found it, his heart felt like the Dark Lord himself poured hot tar over it. The door of Potter's cottage hanged open, its hinges broken by a curse. Severus hesitated for a fraction of the second, then ran inside. The darkness engulfed him.

As his eyes adjusted, Severus saw a staircase leading up. The moonlight was seeping from an open window, bathing the house in a cold glow. It looked like a storm had flown inside. Chairs were flipped, a lamp lay broken on the floor. The glass crunched beneath Snape's boots as he headed to the stairs and then he saw something lying prone on the steps. _Not something. Someone._

James Potter had died trying to keep the Dark Lord from harming his family. His dark eyes gazed into nothingness behind his glasses. A ray of moonlight glistened against the metal rim. Severus did not waste time. He walked over his former enemy's corpse and ran up the stairway. With every step, he could hear it creaking. Suddenly he froze. He heard muffled voices from the second floor. That meant…

He ran up like a madman. He could hear them more clearly now.

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead…"

That was Lily. She was still alive! _She's still alive!_ _Alive, she's alive, she's alive!_

Then another voice spoke, a cold voice that Snape knew all too well. "This is my last warning…"

Were the goddamn steps endless? Finally, Severus climbed up and almost _flew_ towards the nursery, his feet barely touching the floor…

"Not Harry! Please… have mercy… Not Harry! Please… I'll do anything…"

And then he finally reached the room and saw them. The tall, hooded figure of the Dark Lord, with his back towards him. Lily, his sweet Lily stood before him, her majestic red hair in disarray and her beautiful green eyes full of terror as she tried to shield a baby's crib with her body. The child was crying loudly.

The Dark Lord raised his wand.

"_Avada…_"

Snape was faster.

"_Sectusempra!_"

And suddenly the Dark Lord's whole forearm flew away in a shower of dark blood, wand and all. The tall wizard hollered in pain and fell sideways. Lily screamed in shock and horror. Severus jumped into the room and wasted no time. He pointed his wand to his master's on the floor.

"_Reducto!_" As the curse hit the wand and it began to sizzle and fall apart like it was made of sand, Snape twirled around and his eyes found the Dark Lord kneeling on the nursery floor. "_Avada Kedavra!_"

The beam of lethal green light never hit the Dark Lord. In one moment he was kneeling on the floor, staring at Severus with his reptilian red eyes, the next he dissolved like a cloud of black mist and whirled sideways, completely evading the Killing Curse. A disembodied cackle echoed in the room.

"So, Severus," it murmured. "You finally reveal your true colors."

Snape twisted around, wand held high, as he tried to find his enemy. The Dark Lord was everywhere and nowhere at once, wisps of sentient, black smoke that curled under the roof and slithered across the walls.

"I should have known," the voice continued. "After all, you did beg like a cur for the life of this mudblood whore."

"You will not touch her," Severus hissed and turned his eyes on Lily. "Go, disapparate! Go to our place!" he shouted, hoping she would remember the old playground that the Dark Lord knew nothing about. "Quickly! I've wounded him!"

She seemed like she was in stupor, then she moved to take the screeching baby from the cradle. The Dark Lord's laugh sounded soft like sin itself.

"Oh, I think not…" And then, in the same second, he once again was corporeal, standing just behind Lily. A sadistic smile twisted his pale face into a horrid grimace. Before Snape could even open his mouth to shout, the dark wizard grabbed her with his whole arm and roughly shoved her on the floor in Severus' feet. Then he turned his gaze towards his Half-Blood Prince. His eyes were glowing like bloodied embers. He pointed a finger at Severus and whispered, "_Crucio!_"

The pain hit Severus like a tidal wave. He flew back and fell with a thud on the nursery floor. The baby was screaming again. No, it was Lily, screeching his name. Or maybe it was Severus himself as he convulsed violently. Or it was all three of them, he wasn't sure. Above it all, he could hear the Dark Lord amused chuckle.

"Really, Severus, what did you think to accomplish here?" He sighed. "I had such hopes for you. Even though your mother had sullied the proud Prince bloodline when she gave birth to you, I still hoped that you will prove yourself. Instead you threw it all away. And for what? A mudblood bitch who doesn't even want you? You disgust me."

_You disgust me._ When had he heard that before? Ah, yes, when he went to Dumbledore to beg for mercy and for him to save Lily's life. Why had he said that? _Because I admitted that I had already begged the Dark Lord for the same thing… _Dumbledore… He had promised that Lily was protected. _Some protection. The old man is even more useless than I am._

Then Snape thought that he heard a faint _pop!_ and felt the wind rustle against the door frame.

"Coming from someone like you, Tom, that is a compliment for him." Even through the red haze of the agony, Severus knew that voice.

_Dumbledore, he's here. Dumbledore is here. Wormtail has made it to Hogwarts._ Suddenly, Snape was free from the pain and felt blackness envelop him. The last thing he saw was a pair of green eyes staring through tears at him.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

**November 1, 1981, Hogwarts**

Severus Snape woke up in the Hospital Wing. It was dark. His head felt heavy. _What am I doing here?_ he wondered. _Was it all a dream?_ Was he still a miserable teenager, studying at Hogwarts and trying to survive through the Marauders' pranks with his health and dignity intact? _Mum, I dreamt I was a Death Eater…_ He felt a sudden urge to laugh. Naturally, he surpressed it. Oh, if everything had truly been a dream… _Then Lily wouldn't be married to Potter, and I wouldn't have gone to the Dark Lord… Potter… Potter is dead. Oh. But Lily is alive._

That thought ran like a jolt of elecricity through his brain. Lily was alive! He had saved her!

Severus groaned and tried to rise. It cost him some effort to swing his legs out of the soft bed. He took a deep breath. He knew his way around the Hospital Wing. Potter and his cronies had sent him here often enough. Then he remembered that Potter was dead and wondered what he ought to feel. Satisfaction? Triumph? Joy? Glee? Severus felt none of those. The only emotion he felt was relief, relief because he had managed to save Lily. _Where is Lily?_

He tried to stand up, but his legs felt unusually wobbly. _Well, what did you expect, you dunderhead? It's a miracle that you came out of there in one piece!_ Snape made one timid step and decided that his legs would manage to get him out of here so he could go and search for Lily.

Next thing he knew, the hard stony floor of the infirmary rose to his face and the impact drove the air out of his lungs. He must have cried because then he heard frantic footsteps and a woman's voice. _Lily?_ But it wasn't Lily, it was Madam Pomfrey, who knelt next to him, tallking with a speed of ten words per second and Severus didn't even bother to listen to her. Instead, he saw how the stars in the sky turned into a warm, gleaming sea that rose to take him away. Then he remembered nothing.

The next morning came with a lot more clarity. And a bit more pain. With it came Albus Dumbledore, dressed in a shining robe of purple satin with pink lining. Not really the person Severus wanted to see, but there was nothing to be done.

"Severus, my dear boy," the old Headmaster smiled through his white beard, his blue eyes twinkling behind his glasses. "How are you feeling?"

"About as well as it might be expected for someone who faced the Dark Lord and lived to tell the tale," Severus replied dryly. He didn't feel like he had a particular desire to be polite right now. "I take it that Pettigrew reached you? Is he still here?"

"I alerted the Ministry. The Aurors have taken him to Azkaban to await a trial." Dumbledore averted his eyes. "It appears that the Potters put their fate in the wrong person."

"Oh…" Snape thought for a moment before he said, "Before you sent me there as well, at least tell me how is Lily."

"Sent you there, Severus? Where? To Azkaban?"

"If Pettigrew reached you, then you know I used the Imperius Curse on him."

"I looked into his memories, my boy, yes. Considering the circumstances, I'd say it was done for the greater good."

"Barty Crouch is not so liberal in his considerations."

"Ah, but dear Barty isn't here," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled again, then the blue orbs darkened, as if drowned by sadness. "I've taken care of it, Severus. I obliviated the memory of the Imperius from Peter's mind. His Dark Mark was proof enough. I cannot judge you, especially when you openly defied Voldemort and saved Lily Potter and little Harry."

Severus knew, he _knew_ that this was going to come back and bite him later, but all he could think and say was, "So is Lily okay?"

Dumbledore sighed. "She is alive, Severus. And so is her boy. But I wouldn't go as far as to say she is, as you put it, okay. She's grieving for James. His death hurt us all."

Snape said nothing. Dumbledore noticed and continued, "What happened there, Severus? When we came James was already dead, Voldemort was torturing you, and Lily was hysterically screaming for him to stop. His… Half his right arm was missing. Then he fled, apparated away. What happened?"

"I…" his throat felt raw and swallowed heavily. "I failed to find their house in time. By the time I arrived there, Potter had just been killed. The Dark Lord was about to kill Lily too. She didn't want to step away, she refused to simply allow him to murder the babe. So I used one of my own combat spells," at this the Headmaster's blue eyes widened with surprise, "to sever his wand arm just as he was about to cast the Killing Curse on her. Then he… he turned into some kind of sentient mist, to avoid my spells," Severus thought it prudent not to mention that he had used – or at least had tried to use – the Killing Curse as well. "I implored Lily to flee, but he recovered his real form and incapacitated us both. Then you came and I… I lost consciousness. After that I woke in the Hospital Wing."

"Ah, yes, you gave Madam Pomfrey quite a fright last night, Severus."

"Sir, please, may I see Lily? I need to speak to her."

"Severus…" the Headmaster sighed. "I implore you, give her some time to grieve. I fear that she is too upset, and your presence may open too many old wounds. Give Lily some time, my boy."

"She… she shouldn't be alone…"

"She is not. Remus and Sirius are both with her."

"Oh…" Severus wanted to slap himself. What had he expected? That she'd welcome him with open arms just a night after her husband was murdered by Snape's own master? _What a pathetic fool you are, Snivellus._ "Very well. Then… please… if you intend to see her and talk with her… give her my condolences, and tell her I'm sorry."

"About what, Severus? That you didn't arrive on time to save James as well?"

"About everything."

Albus Dumbledore didn't say anything. Instead he reached a slender hand, patted Severus' shoulder and nodded.

"Thank you, Headmaster."

"I am the one who must thank you, my dear boy. If it weren't for you, Lily and young Harry would have died along with James. You've earned my trust, Severus, and I'm honored to call you a friend."

Severus didin't need to be an occlumens to know that such sweet sentiments always came with a price from the old wizard. Back when he had groveled before Dumbledore, pleading for Lily's life, the old man had been interested most in how he could twist Severus into servitude to the Order. Severus had willingly pledged himself to him, as no price was too great if it meant that Lily would be safe from the Dark Lord. He would be Dumbledore's pawn, he would do his bidding… as long as it meant that Lily was safe, none of it mattered. His pride was not worth more than her life.

_And now Dumbledore's got you exactly where he wants you. You turned against the Dark Lord, so you cannot go back. You used an Unforgivable Curse and Dumbledore's the only person who knows about it. And you can bet your miserable arse that now he's going to hold on to Lily, to use her as a leverage._ _Merlin's balls, there's the one thing I didn't think about – I was not supposed to survive this! Now what? _Severus could only lie his head on his pillow and wonder what task would Dumbledore have for him.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**November 3, 1981, Hogwarts**

It was sickening, that's what it was. Lily Potter had never felt angrier in her entire life. She wanted to roar her fury to the heavens. It had been three days, three long, hard days since Hallowe'en. Three days since James' death. Three days since she had become a widow and Harry was deprived of his father. _You'd think they'd give me some more time before they drop yet another bomb…_

Apparently Albus Dumbledore thought differently. _What right does he have? None! He can't keep me here! He can't! I won't do it!_

Lily felt as if her blood was literally boiling with rage. Right now Remus and Sirius were joining Moody, Vance and the Longbottoms to raid Malfoy Manor, the headquarters of the Death Eaters' inner circle, where they suspected Voldemort was hiding. _I would give anything to be with them right now_. The Headmaster, however, had made it perfectly clear that Lily was to stay at Hogwarts. _It's safe here,_ he had said. _Just what young Harry needs right now, along with his mother,_ he had added, shamelessly using her own son against her.

So she could only _imagine_ how good it would have felt to be in the heat of battle, throwing hexes and curses at _the bloody bastards who had killed James._ A part of Lily, a savage, bloodthirsty part that had never bared its fangs with such fervor before, wanted to kill them all. That part no longer cared about protecting muggles, about keeping the peace in the Wizarding World, even about good and evil. All it cared about was the fact that _they_ had hurt her. And she desperately wanted to hurt them back.

Sometimes, when she looked into Harry's green eyes as he cooed and giggled at her, blissfully unaware of the tragedy that had befallen them three days ago, she felt terrified of that part. She knew that Narcissa Malfoy had given birth to a son who was of age with Harry. The fact that she wanted to apparate into the Manor and slit Lucius' throat in front of his wife and infant son just so she would understand how Lily felt, was revolting. When those images sprang for the first time into her mind, she was literally too ashamed and horrified to look at her own baby boy.

And yet…

Sometimes the anger reigned supreme.

So now Lily prowled Hogwarts' grounds around the lake, hoping that the autumn chill would calm her down. Suddenly, she spied a figure in the distance. It was simply standing at the shore, watching the grey waves. Perhaps it was one of the teachers or a student, a 6th or a 7th year. Regardless, it was someone she could talk to. _If I'm lucky, I may even forget about all this for a little while. At this point, I'll gladly hear everything about what an absolute piece of shit Filch is, or how old Dumbledore has no idea of what it means to actually teach to teenagers_. Whatever this bloke wanted to talk about, Lily was going to be game. She started walking towards the far figure with grim determination.

Halfway there, she realized that this was one of the bigger mistakes she had made. _Aside from making Peter our keeper, probably the biggest_. Because as she got closer, Lily realized that the man standing on the lake shore was a one she was not yet ready to see. _Sev, it's Sev…_

He just stood there, gazing at the cold waters of the lake and the gloomy whisps of silvery mist that swirled above the waves. He had wrapped himself in a flapping black cloak, and his long hair fell across his face like a curtain.

Unfortunately, he had noticed her approach, because he turned his head to look at her. No doubt he, just like Lily herself, had thought that it was just some person who happened to have taken a stroll. There was some twenty or so feet between them but his coal-black eyes momentarily lit up.

"Lily…" he muttered. He immediately strode towards her.

She hastily stepped back and Sev stopped, his brow wrinkled with anxiety.

"Sev… I can't…" she whispered, wondering if he could even hear her. "I'm sorry."

With that she turned away and fled to the castle, leaving him at the bleak shore.

Back in the castle, where there was warmth and light and Harry was squealing happily in her arms, she felt guilty for running away from him. This was Sev, her Sev. Her best friend, who had fought against Voldemort for her. Lily knew that there were a million things they needed to discuss, to make up for the five years they had spent apart. _At the very least, if it weren't for him Harry and I would be dead right now…_ But that thought only made her remember James and her heart clenched with sadness. She couldn't bear to look at Sev, not right now. Not yet.

**A/N:** _Well, look at that. It seems that this story is being received well. So I'd like to take the opportunity to thank every reader, and especially those who follow, favorite and/or review. Feedback is important to everyone who chooses to share their meager doings with others, so there's that. I didn't want to bother every reviewer with a PM that says 'Thanks for the comment, mate!' but, please, do know that I appreciate every kind word; I would appreciate criticism even more, because it would help me know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. _

_This is a story that is just starting, so I'll hope that you all will be entertained by my small attempt to pretend I'm a writer._

_Cheers!_


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

**November 3, 1981, Hogwarts**

During his time as a child and, later, a teenager, Severus Snape had decided that there was no such thing as a God. Now he knew he had been wrong. _There is a God, and he exists only to mock me._ He was pacing the small room that Dumbledore had given him, now that he had effectively exiled himself from his former life, snarling like a caged beast.

Finally, after three agonizing days, he had seen her. All the things he wanted to say, how sorry he was that he had called her a mudblood, how she had been right all along about him mixing up with the wrong crowd, how he knew that she was grieving and wanted to do anything to help… all that had evaporated from his brain and he had stood there like a gaping nitwit who couldn't even form a coherent sentence. And then she had ran away from him. _Well done, Snivellus, well done!_

Though, in all honesty, perhaps it was for the best. _After all, does it really matter if you ever get to speak to her again? The important thing is that she's alive, you selfish imbecile._ Even now, three days later, he still couldn't completely believe that he had actually succeeded. That he had managed to stand against the Dark Lord and buy Lily enough time until Dumbledore and his pups arrived. The thought of that success was so exhilarating that he felt almost drunk with joy. _Now all we have to do is move Lily somewhere far away, somewhere safe where he can't reach her._

Snape hadn't even stopped to think about his own fate – he had decided to simply wait for Dumbledore's orders. _The old man has you in his grasp anyway, so there is no use kicking against the pricks._

Night had already fallen over Hogwarts, but Severus had no desire to go down and have dinner at the Great Hall. He was not in the mood for eating. _Nor company, for that matter_.

Suddenly, he was startled by a rather loud crackling in the fireplace and when he turned to look, he saw Dumbledore's grandfatherly face peering at him through the flames.

"Ah, Severus, dear boy," he said amiably. "How are you?"

"What do you want?" he snapped in response.

"I was hoping that I may have a word with you in my office."

"Is it important?"

"I'm afraid so, my friend."

With that the Headmaster's head disappeared and the fireplace looked normal once again. _Oh what the hell_, he thought. _It's not like I have anything better to do_. And who knew? Maybe the old man had managed to talk Lily into seeing him.

He went to the fireplace, took a bag of Floo-powder from the shelf atop it and threw the fine dust into the fire. The flames swooshed and turned emerald. Severus stepped inside and said, "The Headmaster's Office!"

Once he arrived, he sneered. _Lke I said, exists only to mock me._ He stood there, face to face with the Order of the Phoenix. _And to think I hoped he had arranged a meeting with Lily. _Lily was nowhere to be seen. _Well, this is going to be uncomfortable…_ It had been months since Severus had pledged himself to Dumbledore for Lily's sake; but, to Snape's knowledge, in all that time the Headmaster had never officially admitted to his men who his spy was. _Now they know_.

Sirius Black was glaring at him, his unruly dark hair falling across his brow and cheeks and his mustache bristling with animosity. He looked like a dog ready to hurl itself at a houserobber but Remus Lupin, looking worn and tired as always, put a hand on his best friend's shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Black growled and turned his back on Severus, instead choosing to stare at the night sky through one of the windows.

Snape's eyes flickered across the room. Minerva McGonagall, the old trout, was looking at him as if she had just saw a cockroach slithering beneath the bread basket. Her thin lips reminded him of the times, not so long ago, when he was a student here. Alastor Moody didn't seem much friendlier. The grizzled Auror's scarred hand was twitching against the pocket where he held his wand. Frank and Alice Longbottom did not glare at him with such an open hostility, but their eyes were cold and suspicious.

And then Severus saw her, sitting in front of the Headmaster's desk and holding the baby in her arms. She looked lovely, dressed in a gown of dark green velvet. She, too, was looking at him, and her face was the one filled with the most disgust. _Compared to her, even Minerva looks at me like a kind aunt…_

"Narcissa?" he frowned at the blonde woman. "What is going on? What are you doing here?"

"Why don't you ask your new friends, Severus?" she replied through clenched teeth.

Severus sought out Dumbledore's face. The old wizard measured him with his sharp blue eyes from behind his glasses.

"The Order raided Malfoy Manor today," he said softly. "We had hoped that Voldemort was hiding there after his encounter with you."

Snape's eyes met Narcissa's. She didn't flinch – actually, she looked back at him with open, honest hatred. Suddenly Severus understood and so when Alastor Moody spoke with his gruff voice, he found that he wasn't surprised at all.

"Only, it turned out it was empty!" The battered veteran exclaimed. "The only residents there were Mrs. Malfoy, here, and the lad."

_So you took her captive? A prisoner? A lone woman, with her baby? _ He almost opened his mouth to voice his thoughts when he remembered that the Dark Lord had attacked Lily and _her _baby with the intent to kill instead of capture. _Never mind that it wasn't Narcissa's fault. This lot won't take it kindly if I jump to her defence._

"So it's true, Severus?" she said and he turned his attention back to the elegant, slender woman sitting in front of the Headmaster like a student in detention. "You've turned your back on him?"

"I have my reasons to abandon the Dark Lord," he muttered, thinking of Lily.

"The Dark Lord? I was talking about Lucius," she hissed, her voice icy and full of scorn. "Lucius, who took you under his wing since your first day at Hogwarts. Lucius, who introduced you to the Dark Lord and personally insisted for every promotion you ever got." with those words Narcissa cradled the sleeping baby to her chest. "And how you repay him? By becoming the ally of the people who kidnapped me from my own home!"

Severus didn't know what to answer. He didn't even know if he _ought_ to answer. There was truth in Narcissa's words. Lucius Malfoy had always been… generous and genial towards Severus. Aside from Lily, he was probably the friendliest face Snape ever saw during his youth at Hogwarts._And Narcissa was always kind to me too, though she was at that age where 11 years old boys are no subject of any interest. _A part of him felt the slimy touch of guilt, especially considering that he never even thought what his betrayal would mean for the Death Eater who had introduced him to the Dark Lord. _Then again, it was all for Lily. And when the choice is between her and the Malfoys…_ Nothing in this world was more important than Lily.

_It's remarkable how openly she admits Lucius' involvement_. It even seemed stupid, until he remembered that the Order had stormed Malfoy Manor. Only Salazar Slytherin himself knew what incriminating evidence they had found there. Perhaps denial was completely redundant at this point. _If that's true, she's probably a lot more frightened than she lets on_. Still, Narcissa was a true Slytherin; she was never going to admit her weakness and would do everything in her power to turn the table. _A pity she's just not in Dumbledore's category._

"Mrs. Malfoy," Dumbledore spoke kindly and she turned her angry gaze at the Headmaster, "Do not think yourself a prisoner. I'd rather say that you and young Draco are guests at Hogwarts."

"Guests?" she spat the word as if it was poisonous.

"Yes, Cissy, guests," growled Sirius Black, still looking through the window. _Weren't they siblings? _Severus wondered. _No, cousins, from the two branches of the House of Black. _"And believe me when I tell you, you'll receive a warmer welcome here than any of us would have at your husband's palace, had the roles been reversed."

Narcissa ignored him and glared at Dumbledore. "Why should I be your "guest", Dumbledore? I've done nothing that warrants for me to be taken from my home! My son is just a baby, he…"

"Lady," Moody's voice was as rough as his ugly face, "the fact that you lack the Mark is the only reason you get to have a room in Hogwarts instead of a nice cell in Azkaban." From his tone Snape decided that Alastor himself would like nothing more than to lock both Malfoys away. He probably felt the same way about Severus too.

Narcissa stared at him, her face a mixture of resentment and incredibility. _She's probably shocked at the audacity he has, to even stand in a room with her, what's left to talk to her like this._

"Moody, you miserable creature…" she hissed. "Don't you _dare_ speak to me! My husband will…"

"And where _is_ Lucius, Mrs. Malfoy?" Dumbledore asked mildly.

"I already told your thugs, Dumbledore! I don't know!"

Dumbledore leaned back on his chair and said nothing. His blue eyes focused on Narcissa for a brief moment, gleaming like sapphires. A second later he broke the contact and nodded, "Very well, Mrs. Malfoy. I suggest you retire for the night, I'm sure you and Draco need your rest after such a hard day. If you need anything, food or drinks, or anything else, call the house elves. They are at your disposal. Frank, Remus, would you be so kind as to escort dear Mrs. Malfoy to her chambers? I trust she doesn't know the path. Oh, Mrs. Malfoy, one last thing," he called and she turned to look at him. "Like I said, you are not a prisoner here. Tomorrow I will be visited from Bartemius Crouch. I expect he'll want to talk to you. If you would rather be transferred under his care, consider yourself free to do so. Good night."

"This is not over, Dumbledore," Narcissa declared as Lupin and Longbottom led her out of the Headmaster's office. They were gentle, but firm. Snape watched them and wondered why he was invited to witness that whole scene.

He cleared his throat. "Headmaster, if I may ask…" Dumbledore blinked and turned his eyes on Severus. "What was all this about?"

"Like I said, my boy, today the Order invaded Malfoy Manor. We hoped to take them by surprise. We also hoped that Voldemort would be there, recuperating after what happened at Godric's Hollow. As it turned out…"

"… We were wrong," Black barked from the window. "The Manor was deserted in a great haste, and my beautiful cousin and my charming nephew were the only ones left." His voice was thick with bitterness. _Look at him, he's itching for a fight. I bet he grieves for Potter even more than Lily does._ Which meant that Severus had to be very careful. It wasn't hard to guess where Black's anger and sorrow would find their next target. _I'm not afraid of Sirius Black, not anymore_, he thought darkly… but neither he could afford to kill him or even Crucio him a bit. Not where Lily was around and when Dumbledore held all the cards. _Sit back, shut your mouth, take his insults and wait your chance._

"Why were they left behind?" Severus wondered.

Moody shrugged. "Probably because of the babe. Wasn't fit for long travel yet or somesuch." Severus had his doubts about that, but decided to keep them to himself. "What I'd like to know," the Auror snarled, "is how come they knew we were coming?"

Still gazing out into the night, Black muttered, "A snitch."

"Yes, but who?"

"Why don't you ask good old Snivellus?"

_Ah, there it goes_. Snape opened his mouth to retort but Dumbledore had apparently forestalled his reaction because he cleared his throat and said, "Please, friends, now is not the time to fight each other. Nobody is suspecting you of anything, Severus," Sirius Black snorted but otherwise remained silent. "What we must focus on is finding Lord Voldemort and his men."

"Is that why you took Narcissa Malfoy?" Severus asked, amazed at the ruthlessness of the Headmaster. _Out of the frying pan and into the fire…_ "To force Lucius to reveal himself? The Ministry would never stand for it. And if the Dark Lord wishes to remain hidden, Lucius will not risk his wrath for his wife's sake."

"I find it troubling, my dear boy, that you always think the worst of people." Dumbledore's voice was mild and soft, but his eyes did not twinkle this time. "I took Narcissa Malfoy because I don't believe that a young mother and her child should be left at Voldemort's mercy. Even if she won't thank me for it. I thought, Severus, that you, of all people, would understand this."

_Oh, very good, old man, very good,_ Snape sneered on the inside. _You almost managed to sound sincere_. Still, as far as plans went, it was not complete bollocks. Lucius would now have to choose between his wife and son on one hand, and his loyalty to the Dark Lord on the other. _And we all know how that turned out for me, eh?_ Dumbledore was starting to play rough. Severus cleared his throat.

"I do, sir, I understand," he said. _More than you know._ He didn't fail to notice how Black scowled at this.

"Good," Dumbledore said, eyeing everyone in his office. "Unfortunately, I fear that Mrs. Malfoy was not wrong about one thing. This is not the end."


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

**November 4, 1981, Hogwarts**

A part of Severus was beginning to regret that he had spared Peter Pettigrew. _I should have killed him instead of sending him to Dumbledore_. _At least I wouldn't be on the old man's leash right now_. Then again, if it hadn't been for Dumbledore, the Dark Lord would have killed him. Worse, he would have killed Lily as well. Still, Snape's patience was starting to wear thin.

After last night's theatrics with Narcissa, Severus wanted only to be left alone, free to rest and think. Instead, once the brisk morning had dawned over Hogwarts, the Headmaster summoned him once more.

And now the two of them stood at the old man's office, waiting for the delegates of the Ministry.

"I warned you," Severus grumbled, "they won't just let you keep her here."

Albus Dumbledore looked at him innocently with his bright blue eyes while he gently sipped his tea.

"Are you sure you don't want a cup, my boy?" he asked lightly.

Snape glared at him. The old wizard sighed. "I'm confident that dear Barty will be reasonable."

"Crouch? Reasonable? Why, yes, Dumbledore, and I'm the Sultan of Burma."

Dumbledore frowned. "I wasn't aware they had a Sultan. Don't you mean Brunei, Severus? Your knowledge of muggle history is lacking."

Exasperated, Snape threw his hands in the air.

Just then the flames in the fireplace glowed green and Bartemius Crouch Sr. stepped into the Headmaster's Office. The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement looked stiff and immaculate as always. Behind him stepped a young man with blonde hair and a freckled face. Severus took him for a clerk until he noticed the resemblance between him and Crouch and the memory clicked in place. _Huh. Look at that. What is Junior doing here?_ He remembered Barty Crouch Jr. vaguely from his time in Hogwarts. The boy was younger than him and even though both had been in Slytherin, Snape didn't remember to have ever spoken with him. _And why_ _would I? I spent most of my time with my nose in a book, or with Lily_. And after he had destroyed their friendship, he had latched on to his peers and the older students like Lucius. He had never had any use for the younger students.

"Albus," Crouch Sr. nodded to the Headmaster. He didn't even look at Severus.

"Good morning, my friend," Dumbledore said merrily. "Ah, and I see young Barty is here as well. How are you, my dear boy?"

"Hello, sir," Crouch Jr. murmured politely.

"Would you two care for some tea? And I must admit, I'm surprised to see you here," his eyes twinkled at the young man. "Pleasantly, of course. Perhaps you miss your old Alma Mater?"

Barty opened his mouth to answer but his father spoke in his stead, "My son needs to learn what his future work will entail. I've given him a job at my Department. It's past time he grew up."

Severus noticed that Junior didn't seem too pleased that his father had spoken instead of him. Dumbledore, however, had dismissed the youth from his attention and was speaking with Crouch Sr.

"How are things going with Peter Pettigrew, Barty?" he asked.

"How do you think?" the man relied gruffly. "He's a Death Eater and has conspired against the Potters. Now that James Potter is dead because of him, he's looking at a life sentence in Azkaban. If he's lucky," he added darkly.

"Truly sad," Dumbledore sighed and sipped his tea. "I wonder, what madness possessed him to betray his friends?"

"His motives are no concern of mine, Albus. Only his punishment. Everyone has excuses." With that he glanced at Snape. "Albus tells me that you were instrumental in capturing Pettigrew and saving Lily Potter and her child. It would seem that his scheme to recruit you was a success, Mr. Snape."

Severus decided that Crouch didn't sound like he was happy with that. He raised a black eyebrow. "I was under the impression that my role was known only to the Headmaster and myself."

"Don't delude yourself. The only reason why Albus can operate so freely is because I allow it. I do recognize that all of us need to work together against You-Know-Who."

Severus had his doubts. _The old man is more cunning than you know, Crouch. You're just a Ministry stooge, with a too high opinion of himself_. _If anything, it's him who allows you to do what you do._ But he knew better than to voice his thoughts.

"Now," Crouch said, "on to the question of Narcissa Malfoy. I am not pleased, Albus, not pleased at all. Her husband is a suspected Death Eater. We've been monitoring him for half a year. You cannot just take people into your custody! She should be given to the Ministry."

"And what will you do with her If I were to… give her to you, Barty?"

"She will be administered Veritaserum and put to the question. At the very least, I suspect she is an accomplice of You-Know-Who."

Severus cleared his throat. "I can assure, you, Crouch, Narcissa Malfoy is not a Death Eater."

"That's true, Barty," Dumbledore sipped his tea. "She doesn't bear the Dark Mark. Narcissa Malfoy cannot give you what you want."

"Lucius Malfoy disappeared yesterday, along with dozens of other suspects and confirmed criminals, and you're telling me she doesn't have any knowledge about that? And you trust her? Don't be ridiculous, Albus!"

"As you well know, dear Barty, I am quite an accomplished occlumens. It's not a matter of trust. I _know_ she doesn't know where Lucius is. I also know she is a mother who is fearful for her child. As long as I am a Headmaster here, Hogwarts will never deny help and protection to those who need it."

Crouch Sr. scowled. "Still, I would like to speak with her. Now."

"Certainly." Dumbledore stood and went to the fireplace. He threw some Floo-powder into the flames, stepped into the green fire and disappeared to Narcissa's chambers.

An awkward silence filled the Headmaster's Office. Severus could almost feel Crouch's hard glare on him.

A moment later, Dumbledore returned with Narcissa in tow. Severus had to admire her nerve – here she stood, surrounded by her husband's enemies and she didn't balk, nor flinch. She stepped out of the fireplace with an almost regal dignity. _You have to give it to the purebloods, they do know how to conduct themselves_. Then again, Sirius Black – Narcissa's own cousin – was neither regal nor especially dignified. _Even the Black family has its black sheep, I suppose._

"Mr. Crouch," she said, her voice even and cool. She didn't acknowledge Junior. Nor Severus, for that matter.

The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement gave her an icy glare, but nodded stiffly.

"Mrs. Malfoy," he said, "I'm going to go straight to the point. Dumbledore claims that you are here, in Hogwarts, because he believes you need his protection."

There was the briefest moment of hesitation. It didn't last more than a fraction of a second.

"I do," she said, keeping her tone completely emotionless.

"And may I ask why? What are you afraid of, Mrs. Malfoy?"

"My husband is missing. I fear he may have been kidnapped." Severus noticed how Crouch scoffed. _He doesn't believe her. But if Dumbledore hasn't shared his information, he has no proof._ "Since our homes no longer appear to be safe, I chose to entrust myself to the Headmaster's protection. Hogwarts is the safest place I know. I spent my childhood here. My son's safety is my only concern."

"Mrs. Malfoy, are you even aware that your husband is a suspected Death Eater?"

"Do I stand accused of something, Mr. Crouch?" she replied with a question of her own.

Crouch Sr. pursed his thin lips. _She's got him. He doesn't have proof of anything_. Of course, Severus _knew_ that Barty Crouch was right. Lucius _was _a Death Eater. And Narcissa _wasn't_ the ignorant trophy wife. But without proof or a confession, he couldn't lay a finger on her. And he knew it. He knew that his hands were tied. _So much for the long arm of the law_.

"No," he admitted grudgingly, "you are not."

"Then, if you'll excuse me, I have to tend to my son. He has to have his breakfast."

With that, she turned around and left. Crouch was glaring at her back, but didn't say anything.

Not for the first time, Severus had to admit that working for Dumbledore could be almost as unnerving as serving the Dark Lord. _All of us, we're the pawns in that chess game between the two of them_. He could only hope that the Headmaster cared more about his pawns' lives than the Dark Lord did. _Well, as long as he keeps Lily safe, it is of no consequence to me_.

"There you have it, Barty," Dumbledore said amiably. "Narcissa Malfoy wishes to remain in Hogwarts. On her free will, and not in my, as you say, custody. Are you pleased now?"

"No," Crouch said frankly. "But you've given me no choice, have you, Albus?" he waved a hand. "Very well. You can have Narcissa Malfoy. For now. We'll find her husband soon enough, and we'll see what he and his friends have to say." He nodded to the Headmaster. "Good day. Come along, Barty."

"Father, I wondered…" the young man said, hesitantly. "Since we're here, I hoped to visit Professor Slughorn. He was my Head of House, and has always paid a special attention to me. With your permission, of course, Headmaster?" he looked at Dumbledore.

"Of course, dear boy, of course," Dumbledore smiled through his white beard. "I believe you will find him in his office in the Dungeons. I'm sad to say, too many parents have decided to forbid their children from coming to Hogwarts this term, so the curriculum has been somewhat lightened and the teachers have more free time. Unlike Narcissa, some families seem to prefer the safety of their homes." He shook his head. "This war is a terrible thing."

"Yes," Crouch Sr. cleared his throat. "Very good, son, go visit Professor Slughorn. Give him my regards as well. But do not dally."

With a final nod to Dumbledore and Snape, Bartemius Crouch Sr. left through the Floo-network. His son left for the Dungeons as well.

When they were gone, Severus turned to the Headmaster.

"It seems you won this time, Headmaster," he sneered.

"No, Severus, I will consider myself a winner only when Voldemort is brought down and we all live in peace once more." He looked Snape in the eyes. "And in that regard, I have a task for you."


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

**November 4, 1981, Hogwarts**

"No, no, don't tell me, dear girl, I remember exactly how you like your tea!" Horace Slughorn said. "There, three spoons of sugar, and no milk."

Lily smiled at her old Potions Master as she took a sip. "Thank you, Professor," she said.

Slughorn took a seat and looked at her. He was smiling, but his eyes seemed sad. _No, not sad. Full of pity_._ Look at poor Lily, the Potter widow_.

Since Dumbledore had decided for her that she was to stay at Hogwarts for the time being, Lily had thought that she might as well visit some old friends she had left behind. Hagrid had given her a bone-crushing hug when he saw her. The groundskeeper seemed fearsome, with his huge arms and his bushy beard, but he was kindest man Lily had ever known. Professor McGonagall had been very pleased to be able to catch-up with her "best Head Girl" too. So were Flitwick, and Kettleburn, and all the other teachers that Lily had known. And all of them had showered her with their condolences and their pity. Soon she began to feel as if she was suffocating under it. _I don't want pity. I want revenge_. _I want James to enter through that door and to tell me that he's okay, that everything will be fine_.

Only with Remus and Sirius she felt at ease. But they had left. The war was not over. And all Lily wanted was to be allowed to fight in it.

She had hoped that maybe it would be different with Slughorn. The Potions Master had always said that she was his favorite student, one of the most esteemed members of the Slug Club. He had been one of her favorite teachers too. _I guess it was too much to hope for, that he wouldn't burden me with his pity as well_.

Harry squirmed in her lap and tore her from her brooding thoughts. Slughorn had insisted to meet her son. Now he smiled at him.

"Looks like his father, doesn't he?" he said amiably. _Yes, he does. Now shut up._ "I'm sure he'll make a fine student at Hogwarts when he comes of age." He gave Harry another smile and turned his grey eyes to Lily. "How are you holding up, Lily?"

"Good, Professor," she lied. "Given the circumstances. At least Harry is safe."

"Please, Lily, call me Horace, you're not a student anymore!"

"Very well, Horace," she smiled as she supped her tea. "And how are _you_ doing? I was worried that I might interrupt your work when I came."

"Well, what can I say? So many children didn't even turn up when the term began. Some left soon after. The parents are scared, they don't want to leave their children in other people's care."

"I understand them."

"Of course, of course. But we have hardly any teaching to do now. The little ones, the 1st and the 2nd years, there are barely any left of those. A lot of the 7th years have left as well. I suppose they think that fighting in the war is more important than finishing their education." He snorted. "And House Slytherin is almost deserted. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be left to govern only myself as the Head of House! So you see, dear Lily," he said, "you and Harry are not interrupting anything. Between us, I hear that the Headmaster is thinking of closing off the school after New Year's. We'll reopen our gates after the war is over."

"Maybe it will be for the best." Harry whimpered and she looked at her baby boy. "What is it, darling? Are you hungry?"

"Little boys are always hungry," Horace Slughorn nodded wisely.

Then someone knocked at the door. Horace lifted an eyebrow in surprise. "Yes, come in," he called.

A young man with a freckled face entered the dimly-lit office. He looked vaguely familiar to Lily, but she wasn't sure where she had seen him.

"Ah!" Slughorn exclaimed. "What a surprise! Barty Crouch Jr. How are you, my boy? Have you met Lily Potter? You may have taken classes together."

_Barty Crouch?_ She remembered him faintly. She knew his father worked in the Ministry and that he had been in Slytherin. He never seemed to have befriended the dark crowd who later became Death Eaters, though. Mulciber, Avery, Malfoy, Sirius' little brother and their cousin Bellatrix… every one of them turned to Voldemort after they finished school. _Even Sev. But he saved me too_.

"I haven't had the pleasure to meet you in person," Crouch Jr. said to her and shook her hand. "Hello, Mrs. Potter. My… ugh… my condolences."

_You too? I bet you have never even spoken to James!_ "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Crouch," she said politely.

"Please," he gave her a half-smile. "Mr. Crouch is my father. Call me Barty."

"What brings you here, Barty?" Slughorn asked.

"Well, my father had a… business meeting with the Headmaster. I came with him mainly because I wanted to visit my old school."

"Ah, good boy," Slughorn smiled approvingly. "You know, Lily, after you graduated, Barty here became one of my best students."

"Glad to hear it," she said. "Listen, Horace, it has been a pleasure to see you. But as you can see, Harry is becoming restless and if I don't feed him soon, his bellows will wake even the giant squid, so I'll go."

"I can call the house elves if you wish?"

"Thank you, but they never get it right. They overheat the milk too much and their fruit mash leaves something to be desired. I fear they are not used to take care of babies," she chuckled. "It's better if I do it myself."

"Do you know how to get to the Kitchens?"

"Remus showed me the way in our 3rd year. He had the habit to go for a late night snack." With that she got up, cradling Harry securely against her chest. "I hope we see each other soon, Horace. Barty, it was nice meeting you. Good day."

"Goodbye, Lily," Slughorn smiled. "You can come any time. My door is always open for my little Slugs."

And so Lily left Slughorn in Barty Crouch's company and headed to the Kitchens. _Thank Merlin for Barty Crouch!_ It seemed that normal human interaction had become tiresome for her. _Maybe it will get better in time_. On the way she noticed that Slughorn had been right – the corridors of the school were nearly empty. Lily remembered how different it had been, not so long ago. The Hogwarts of her childhood had been a place of wonder, and noise, and life. Now it stood deserted and grey, the granite walls whipped by the cold wind.

By the time Lily got to the Kitchens, Harry had began wriggling in her arms, whining for his food. "It's alright, dearest," Lily said gently, hoping to calm him down. "Mummy will get you some nice, warm milk and something sweet to eat. How about that, Harry?"

He looked up at her and giggled, his green eyes almost shining with pleasure at hearing her voice.

"Mummy!" he cooed.

Lily couldn't help but smile and that made him blurt out a short, childish laugh. _If it wasn't for Harry, I'd probably have gone bonkers by now._

The Kitchens had always been a busy place. Lily remembered it clearly from her childhood – house elves hurrying about, the soft clanking on cutlery and utensils, the smells of tens of dishes cooking at once. And even now, after she had seen how empty Hogwarts had become because of the war, she knew that it would be a place bubbling with work, preparing the meals of the nearing lunch. Lily hoped that she could find some corner where she could quickly make something for Harry without meddling with the elves' job.

Once she entered, however, she noticed nothing of it.

All she saw was the tall, blonde woman, sitting next to a table, far from the elves, and looking proudly at a baby with hair so fine and fair that it looked almost white. It was standing on wobbly, short legs and was trying to bounce a small, green ball off the floor. He dropped it and his mother had to _Accio_ it quickly before it could hit one of the house elves, some of which were already carrying enormous plates with steaming food over their heads to the four special tables where they would vanish and appear upstairs, in the Great Hall.

_What?_ Lily was so confused that even in her head the thought sounded blankly. Then she corrected herself, _What is this bitch doing here?_

Just when the ball flew back into Narcissa Malfoy's palm she noticed Lily's shadow and turned to look at her. Her blue eyes widened in shock and his lips parted slightly.

The two women stared at each other, each equally confused by the unwelcome presence of the other.

Their children broke them out of their trance. Narcissa's son reached up with his small arms, trying to get the ball that his mother still held. Involuntarily, she squeezed it when she felt Draco's tiny fingers on her hand and it squeaked funnily. The noise made Harry perk up. He moved in Lily's arms and fixed both the ball and the other baby with his green eyes.

"Ball!" he exclaimed happily, pointing at the object with a tiny, chubby finger.

Lily composed herself.

"Malfoy," she said, desperately trying to keep her voice even. "Why are _you_ here?"

Narcissa gave her a haughty look. "What's it to you, Potter?"

"Nothing, I just didn't think that the Kitchens would be infested by Death Eaters."

"And I thought I could come here without having to look at mudbloods. Yet here you are."

They glared at each other. _Come on,_ Lily thought, _say just one more thing. One more pathetic insult. And I'll hex you so hard that I'll burn off that pompous hairdo of yours. Come on. _Then, suddenly, Lily realized why Narcissa was here. _Of course!_

She felt Harry tugging the collar of her shirt. "Ball!" he insisted again. Neither Lily nor Narcissa paid him much mind.

"So, _Narcissa_," she drawled, knowing perfectly well that the witch would hate it when Lily used her first name, denying her the imaginary respect she thought she deserved. "It's you who they caught in the Manor, eh? Pity. I imagine Remus and Sirius would have wanted someone more… important. You are barely a consolation prize."

"Shut your mouth, _Lily,_" Narcissa Malfoy spat back and sprang out of the chair. Involuntarily, Lily frowned when the other woman turned the name-game against her. "You have no idea what are you talking about. You're only making a fool of yourself. Not that I'm surprised by that," she added.

"Really?" Lily answered hotly.

"Ball?" Harry asked again, a little louder. Lily sighed, gently dropped him down and held him by the shoulder with one hand, to help him keep himself straight. Harry wobbled slightly, but managed not to fall on his bum.

"Mummy is a little busy," she told him softly. "I'll get you a ball in a minute." Then she turned her attention back to Narcissa. "You talk very bravely," she said dryly. "For a prisoner."

Narcissa's pale face reddened with anger. "I am not a prisoner," she hissed.

"Yes. Yes, you are," Lily replied and smirked. "What happened? Lucius finally realized how worthless you are so he left you behind?"

"At least he's not dead, you mudblood bitch!" the enraged Narcissa said loudly.

The whole kitchen froze. It was as if someone had just cast a Silencing Charm. Lily could feel the house elves watching them with big, frightened eyes. It lasted a second, then all of them hurried to get back to work. Lily's hand shot towards her wand, tucked behind the waist of her black jeans. _Thank you, Merlin. Now, time for some hexing!_

She was just about to whip out her wand and cast a Stunner against Narcissa when once again, she heard Harry giggle. "Ball?" he asked.

Lily looked down. Narcissa followed her eyes.

"Ball," Draco answered and gave it to Harry.

Both witches stood there, mouths agape. While they had been busy hissing against each other, the two toddlers had crept towards each other, their little faces full of curiosity. Then Draco had given his green ball to Harry who promptly dropped it when he tried to spin it in his small hands.

"_Accio_ ball!" Lily said quickly when she saw that it rolled straight towards an unsuspecting house elf who was carrying so many trays and plates that the small mound was taller than his head. She caught it and handed it back to Narcissa. The blonde raised a pale eyebrow suspiciously but took it without a word.

_Great, now it's awkward, _ Lily grumbled on the inside. For a brief moment the prospect of crossing wands with Narcissa had been so exciting... Never mind that it was utterly juvenile. Never mind that both had their babies with them. _Merlin, what was I thinking?_ She looked down again. Both children were staring at their mothers curiously.

Neither of them spoke but if Narcissa's face was any indication, she probably felt embarrassed too. _This is ridiculous!_ Lily cleared her throat.

"Uhm…" she said, "I… uh… yeah. I actually came to make Harry something to eat."

Narcissa gave a small nod. "Yes, they," she cast a derisive look at the house elves, "just don't get it right, do they?"

"They're not used to such young children."

After that they both felt silent again until Narcissa said, "Well, I… I came here earlier because of that too. I warmed a jug of milk, but Draco only drank half a cup," she nodded to the table where she had sat before and, sure enough, there was a jug there. "There are some biscuits as well, Draco liked them when I soaked them in milk. You can try and see if your boy will like it too."

"Yeah, thanks," Lily nodded, very hesitantly.

Narcissa didn't say anything. Instead she looked at her son. "Come, Draco," said softly, "It's time for you to take a nap. You've been awake since dawn!"

With that Narcissa took her son in her arms and strode to the door. With her hand on the knob, she turned, met Lily's eyes and said, "I'm sorry for what I said. About your husband."

Then she left.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

**November 5, 1981, Knockturn Alley**

Severus could barely recognize his own reflection when he passed by the shop windows. His long black hair was now a short, silvery crop through which one could see the shape of his skull. His large hooked nose, the bane of his teenage years, had been broadened and flattened across his face. His jaw was almost square, his lips – much more prominent. His skin was dark as ebony.

Worst of all, he had to give up his comfortable black robes and was now clad in a white shirt with wide sleeves beneath a crimson waistcoat and a dark red mantle. _Someone is going to die for this, painfully and slowly_.

Still, even Severus had to admit that the polyjuice potion had done its job. Knockturn Alley was a hive for the wretched – dark wizards, squibs who hurried about like ants, suspicious strangers from distant lands and scores of common thugs. In other words, a crowd that Severus Snape would do wise to avoid given his current standing with the Dark Lord. Too many eyes, and none of them were friendly.

His _past_ standing with the Dark Lord, however, had resulted in Dumbledore's decision to send him here in disguise. It had been five days since Severus turned openly against his master, and three since the Dark Lord and his most devout – _And important_ – followers had simply vanished. Lucius Malfoy, the Lestranges, Antonin Dolohov, Rosier, Nott… all were gone. Dumbledore and Snape agreed that this was disquieting. The Order of the Phoenix was searching tirelessly all across Britain but they only managed to capture a few of the lowest Death Eaters who were just a tad above pledgelings, thugs who had barely managed to earn their Dark Marks; none of them knew anything, and the leaders were still missing. The Ministry was faring even worse, if Severus was to judge by Bartemius Crouch's boisterous arrogance. _The trail, if there is even such a thin, will get colder every day_.

Dumbledore was fearing the blindness of the unknown – if the Dark Lord managed to slip away for long, his next attack was going to be unpredictable and terrible. _Will he strike against Hogwarts? The Ministry? The muggles?_ Somehow Snape thought those were too obvious. _He's planning something, but what?_

And so Severus was now prowling through Knockturn Alley with a stranger's face instead of his own, hoping against hope that he might find something, _anything_, the smallest clue or hint of what lay ahead.

As he walked deeper into the Alley, he came across a small square where three wynds were intersecting. There, Severus found himself amidst some sort of a marketplace. Ragged witches and wizards were crowing at the passers-by, hoping to find souls stupid or twisted enough to buy their wares. A few squibs were begging pitifully at the street corners. The grey clouds above and the dim orange glow of dirty lanterns and smouldering brazers made the square look sinister. It was a place of foul smells and noises.

Suddenly, a short hag with the most disgusting, rotten smile Severus had ever seen thrust a clawed hand in his face, holding what seemed to be… "Eyeballs!" she croaked. "Centaur eyeballs! Seven sickles for a pair, black sir!"

Severus stepped back, dismissing her with a flick of his wrist, trying to look haughty instead of on the verge of heaving. If he fell retching on his knees, it would attract attention, and of the worst possible kind too. Here, in Knockturn Alley, one should never show weakness.

As he retreated, he stumbled on a dog and reeled. It was quite large, covered in coarse black fur. It reminded Severus of an illustration of a Grim he and Lily once saw in Hogwarts. He cursed under his breath and tried to repel the cur with a kick, but the dog only eyed him insolently and padded away through the crowd.

Snape crossed the square and entered into a narrow side alley. It sloped downwards and sometimes he even had to descend stony steps. The houses and the shops on the both sides of the street seemed to lean to each other, trying to huddle away from the light of day. _I hate this place_. Severus wasn't particularly enamoured with brightness and glitter himself, but something about the oily gloom of Knockturn Alley always made him feel anxious. _It is the Spinner's End of the Wizarding World…_

When he came to the intersection he sought, he turned right. _Merlin, I hope this works._

Dumbledore had hoped that Severus might be able to find some of his old Death Eater "friends" and use his abilities as a spy to learn anything that might be of use.

_Idiocy_. No Death Eater would be found in Knockturn Alley today. Severus didn't even try to look for them. _The fools and the lowly ones are afraid and know nothing anyway. And the rest won't just turn up here because the old man is getting antsy_. No, Snape had an idea of his own. It was dangerous. A part of him whispered that it was bloody stupid as well. _Still, he's the best bet I have_.

He reached into one of the pockets of his waistcoat and pulled out a small, metallic flask. Polyjuice needed to be consumed regularly in order to maintain the false appearance. With a bit of luck he might be back in Hogwarts by nightfall, so he probably wouldn't have to drink much more of it. _I can't wait to see myself in the mirror_.

As he took a swig of the potion, Snape noticed the black dog he had stumbled on earlier. It was sniffing the ground on the other side of the street, completely oblivious of the people that walked around it. Severus knew that not only homeless humans loved to wander through Knockturn Alley, and yet… _Seeing the same stray dog two times in a row?_

When he finally reached his destination, he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He had been here before, doing the bidding of the Dark Lord, and even the sight of the place gave him a sour taste in his mouth. Severus smacked his unpleasantly plump, and dry, lips and moved towards the door of the rundown house that stood before him.

He knocked heavily with a whole fist. A small rectangular hatch slid sideways to reveal a pair of suspicious eyes who glared at Severus. "Password?" said a rough voice.

Severus knew that they changed the password every full moon. Luckily for him, he had been here two weeks earlier. The Dark Lord had sent him to bring a message. The contents had been kept in secret from Snape himself who only had to come here and deliver the letter. He understood everything, though only after the murder of Edgar Bones and his family. _So much blood on your hands, Snivellus…_

"Tiber."

The hatch closed and the door opened with a rusty moan.

Severus entered in something that resembled an antechamber. It was dark, dank and there was only a staircase that led down into the blackness. The burly doorman closed the door behind Snape and restored the ward. He waved a hand towards the stairs and the cellar below.

"You're a bit late," he said. "Better get down there quick, or you won't get to place any bets."

Severus nodded and down he went.

With each step he felt his throat constricted by fear. Beads of sweat trickled upon his brow. He began to hear the noises, as if a group of people were cheering and shouting beneath the earth.

He found himself into a low, stony hallway. Slowly, he crept forward. It led Severus into a dimly-lit chamber. Scores of haggard witches and wizards were standing in a circle, swearing and yelling with loud approval. Severus elbowed his way through their ranks.

Two men were fighting in the middle of the circle, bare-chested and with bruised knuckles and faces. One of them was a tall fellow with a bushy yellow mustache. Snape didn't know him. But the other…

_Fenrir Greyback_. _Well, it looks like I'm in luck_. Oddly enough, he didn't feel especially fortunate.

Even in his human form, Greyback looked like a beast. His long arms were muscular and hairy, his chest – broad as a barrel. He looked a dangerous man. _Not a man. A creature_. Snape hated werewolves. _At least Lupin turns into an animal only once a month._ Fenrir Greyback however…

The Dark Lord both admired and detested his savagery. He was not worthy to be Marked, of course, one needed to be considered at least a human being for that, but that didn't stop the Dark Lord from using Greyback to punish his enemies.

A sudden cry of pain demanded Severus' attention and he saw that Fenrir had managed to bring his adversary down and was stomping on his torso with cruel glee. After he was satisfied, he grabbed the bloodied man by the throat and lifted him from the floor.

"Bite! Bite! Bite! BITE!" Severus heard shouts from the crowd. _Greyback is not the only werewolf here_.

Snape could see the terror in the defeated man's face. He started begging for mercy. The werewolf snorted, spat on the ground and tossed him back on the floor. Then he kicked him in the face so hard that the poor sod was knocked out instantly.

Greyback spread his arms wide, his sweaty chest and muscles glistening in the grim cellar. "Anyone else?" he asked, his voice raspy and growling. He sounded like an animal who had learned to speak like a human but hadn't yet forgotten the wild. Then his eyes met Severus' and his nostrils flared. He smiled. "On second thought, I am finished for tonight. Someone get this sack o'shit out of here," he nodded at the unconscious man who still lay in a puddle of his own blood.

Slowly, the crowd began to thin out. Severus waited a bit, then strode towards Fenrir who was taking a large swig from a bottle of firewhisky. He wiped his mouth with the outer side of his palm and looked at Severus.

"He was truly stupid, that one," he said. "Had I bitten him now, all he would have gotten would be a liking for rare steak. Not worth the mouthwash," he took another sip and laughed. "'Sides, I prefer more… tender meat. You don't look familiar. What d'you want?"

Snape had done a great deal of thinking when it came to that. He had weaved a web of lies that was sure to fool the werewolf while he gently swindled him out of information. He opened his mouth, but just then Greyback interrupted him, "You know, there's just one funny thing. You don't look familiar… but your _smell_ says different." Severus felt his face paling as terror gripped him by the neck. Greyback cocked his head sideways and grinned. His teeth were sharp and looked more like a canine's fangs than anything human. "Hello, Snape," he growled. "What brings you here this time?"

Severus forced himself to swallow the bile in his throat. _He doesn't know I'm not with the Death Eaters anymore. If he did, he would have tore my throat out the minute he saw me. There is still a chance!_ He glanced around. They were completely alone now. "Well, Grayback," he drawled, trying to keep his composure. Everything depended on his ability to be a convincing liar. "It is prudent to hide oneself better these days. The damned Aurors are searching everywhere for us. I come on the Dark Lord's behalf…"

Severus never even saw the bottle of firewhisky when it shattered against his temple. White stars erupted in front of his eyes. He tried to step back only to discover that he had already fallen on the hard floor. His ears were ringing. He could feel something warm trickling down his jawline. Severus tried to get up, to reach for his wand, but before his dazed thoughts could reach his limbs, Fenrir Greyback drove his knee into his stomach and he gasped in pain.

Before he slipped into unconsciousness, Severus' last thought was that he should have talked with Lily after all.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**November 5, 1981, Hogwarts**

Harry and Draco were laughing and hooting as the toy broomstick made a sharp turn around their mothers. Mounted together, they were enjoying themselves like they didn't have a care in the world. _Well, they don't_, Lily thought. Sometimes she envied her son about that. _Everything is so simple when you're a child._

She remembered it well herself. _It was me and Sev, and all we ever worried about was if Tuney would decide to be a grouch and spoil our games_. But as the years went by, everything became more complicated. Coming to Hogwarts was the first hurdle, when she and Sev were separated in two Houses that had a history of mutual enmity. Both of them had met other children, created other ties and in the end they found themselves on the opposite sides of a war.

Despite all the horror and the pain she had endured recently, a part of Lily was glad that Sev was back in her life. She had remembered how she had escaped from him a few days ago and had felt ashamed. She owed him _at least_ a conversation. _As soon as I see him, I'll talk to him_, she had promised herself last night. But today Sev was nowhere to be found in Hogwarts. Finally, Lily went and asked the Headmaster. Dumbledore seemed mildly surprised when Lily inquired about Sev and had admitted, with a certain eloquent reluctance, that he had left the castle. When Lily asked him why and where, he had only replied that it was on the Order's behalf. And nothing else. _As if I'm not a member of the Order too!_

In some bizarre twist of fate, Lily was somewhat pacified by Narcissa's company. The blonde was the only person in the whole castle who didn't look at Lily with pity. They weren't terribly cordial with each other, but both women managed do act civil enough and were willing to go into the neutral zone that their children inhabited when it came to conversations. _To be honest, it's almost relaxing_.

Lily suspected that Narcissa herself felt the same way. Surrounded by the people she was used to think of as enemies, unaware of her husband's whereabouts… she must have been glad to be able to just go and talk to someone about Draco.

For the first time in a week or so, the autumn sun had been almost fully freed from the dark shroud of the clouds and its rays were bathing the grounds outside Hogwarts.

"Harry, watch out!" Lily warned him as the toy broomstick swirled on its axis. Her son didn't even pretend to pay her attention. He and Draco were too busy to enjoy themselves. To the toddlers, flying on the (not that fast, really) broomstick two feet above the ground was probably amazingly exciting. _He's got James' knack for flying, that's certain_. Back home, the cat had began to hate the little boy, hissing at him whenever it saw him with the broomstick; to be honest, the animal was somewhat justified – Harry almost killed it once when he flew right into it after breaking Petunia's vase. Lily had wondered what had happened to that cat. Three days ago, on James' funeral in Godric's Hollow, Dumbledore had assured her that he had placed wards around their cottage so their possessions would be safe and they would be free to return here after the war was finished. But he admitted that he never saw a cat in the house when Lily asked. _He probably ran away on Hallowe'en, poor thing_. Cats were somewhat sensitive around magic and didn't like it when curses were flying around.

_Stop it_, she scolded herself. _Don't think about the cat. It would only make you think of James. What use is that to anyone?_ Lily took a deep breath and composed herself. Harry needed his mother, not a snivelling widow.

"Boys will be boys," Narcissa noted, tearing Lily away from her dark reverie.

"Huh?"

"I said, boys will be boys," the blonde rolled her eyes slightly when she caught Lily's absent-mindedness. "No use telling them to be careful, they won't even hear us. They won't watch out, so we just have to do it for them. I'm sure the broomstick is safe, anyway."

"It is," Lily admitted. "For them, at least. But unless we want Filch to give us detention, we should _never_ let them fly it inside the castle."

Narcissa humphed. "I've never gotten detention with Filch."

"Really? _Never?_"

"Never. As far as the teachers were concerned, I was the most tame Slytherin in history."

"Come to think of it, yeah, I never heard about you getting in trouble wh… wait, _as far as the teachers were concerned?_"

Narcissa raised a pale eyebrow and smirked.

"Oh! Thank Merlin!" A faint voice exclaimed in the distance. The two witches turned their heads and saw Professor Slughorn walking briskly towards them.

For such a heavy-set man, and on his age, he moved quite swiftly. Apparently, that came with a price, because once he reached them, Lily saw that his face was flustered and he was panting heavily. _How long has he ran to get here?_

"L…Li…" he stammered.

"Yes, Horace, just breathe."

"Li…" he tried again.

"Yes, yes, you just breathe and tell me once you can, alright?"

He waved a hand, irritated. "Lily…" he managed to say. "You must go see the Headmaster. He said it's extremely important."

Lily frowned and drove a hand through her red locks. _Since when does Dumbledore wants to share important things with me?_ If anything, he had made sure to keep her away from the Order's affairs ever since she came to Hogwarts. Then it dawned on her. _Sev, it must be about Sev. Oh, God, I hope he's okay…_ Lily wasn't sure if she would bear it if Sev had died on her too.

Lily cast a look towards Harry. He and Draco were still laughing atop the toy broomstick. He was having so much fun… _If I drag him away now, he'll never let me have a serious conversation with Dumbledore_. Lily loved her baby boy, but he could be just as pig-headed as James was if he put his mind to it and was way too young to have any meaningful self-discipline. Apparently, her thoughts were written plain on her face because Narcissa said, "Go to Dumbledore, Potter. I'll watch the boys until you get back."

Lily wasn't completely convinced, but then Slughorn added, "Yes, Lily, go. I'll stay and help Mrs. Malfoy."

"Okay," she sighed. "I won't take long," she promised and headed towards the castle.

The trek seemed to take forever. _PleaseletSevbeokay, pleaseletSevbeokay, pleaseletSevbeokay_, she chanted in her mind while she ran up the stairs towards the Headmaster's Tower. She almost blurted _that_ out in front of the gargoyle guarding the Office.

Once she went in, Lily found Albus Dumbledore sitting in front of his desk. He was writing a letter and raised his bright blue eyes to look at her.

"Lily," he said, with a questioning frown of his white eyebrows. "What can I do for you, my dear?"

It was Lily's turn to frown. "What do you mean? You _asked_ for me to come!"

Dumbledore leaned back on his chair. "I assure you, dear Lily, I did not. Not that I don't enjoy you visiting, of course I do, but I didn't ask for you to come."

"Is this some twisted joke?!"

"Lily, what on Earth is the matter? I do not understand."

"Is it so bad that you now have to pretend?"

"Is _what_ so bad?"

"Sev!" she all but shrieked. "What has happened to Sev?!"

Dumbledore frowned and removed his glasses from his bony nose. "Lily, we talked about Severus this morning. I told you he's on a mission for the Order. Nothing has happened to him. In fact, I expect he'll return here tonight."

Lily took a deep breath, fighting with the urge to start pulling her own hair. "Then why did you want to see me?" she asked slowly.

"My dear, how many times must I repeat myself? _I did not ask for you to come_. Who told you otherwise?"

"Ho… Professor Slughorn."

"Really? That's… odd."

"What is?"

"Well, I last saw Horace at lunch. I noticed he ate much less than usual, but we didn't speak with each other. I haven't seen him since. I have no idea why he wanted to send you here."

Lily was extremely confused when she left the Headmaster's office. She slowly made her way back to the lawn where she had left Harry with the Malfoys and Slughorn. _What was Horace playing at?_ _If this was his idea of a joke, it was NOT funny._ Despite being raised to respect her elders, especially if they were also her teachers, Lily was going to give the old walrus a piece of her mind…

She realized something was wrong long before she reached the place. It was a bad feeling, almost like a physical wight in her stomach. Lily began to run.

She heard the child's hysterical cries first. Draco was sitting on the ground, crying as loudly as his little lungs allowed him. He was staring at the body of his mother with watery eyes.

Narcissa Malfoy was on her back, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. Her blonde hair had spilled from the updo she usually wore. One glance assured Lily that she was alive – her chest was rising and falling heavily – just unconscious.

The toy broomstick lay forgotten in the grass.

Horace Slughorn was nowhere to be seen.

And neither was Harry.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**November 5, 1981, Knockturn Alley**

Severus immediately regretted it when he woke up. His head was throbbing with pain. _Fuck me backwards… What happened?_ Then he remembered. _Snivellus, you are the worst dunderhead in the history of mankind_.

Fenrir Greyback had known all along. _Of course_ he had known.

And now Severus was sitting tied hand and foot to a chair. Strands of greasy black hair fell in front of his eyes and he realized that the polyjuice potion had ceased to affect him. _I must have been out for two hours at least, then, maybe three_. He forced himself to ignore the awful headache and tried to think. _If I don't return to Hogwarts by nightfall, Dumbledore will know that something went wrong. He knows I was in Knockturn Alley_. The Headmaster, however, had no clue where _exactly_ Snape was or who he met. _I bet he doesn't even have an idea that Fenrir has his little fight club here_. Still, Dumbledore was resourceful. If he wanted to find Severus, he would. The real question was whether he'd bother or he'd just shrug him off as a casualty in the name of the greater good. _I'm his spy, he needs me!_ But a small, traitorous voice in his mind whispered, _You were his spy. Now that you've revealed yourself, you're not nearly as useful to the old man_. And besides, all this was pointless; for all Severus knew, Greyback would come and snap his neck minutes from now.

_Or not. If he wanted to kill me, I wouldn't have woken at all. _Of course, that might mean that the werewolf wanted to torture him first, and that was not something Severus would put past Fenrir Greyback, but Snape had a pretty confident suspicion of his captor's intentions._ He's going to give me up to the Dark Lord. He must expect a prize_. And if that was true, Severus probably had still some time to think of a way to get out of here.

His first thought was to apparate somewhere far away from Knockturn Alley. Nothing happened. _Damn that werewolf! He must have put wards!_

Since his hands were tied behind the chair's back, Severus also tried to use a bit of wandless magic to free himself. It was no use. His head was hurting so bad that he had trouble focusing his vision. _I'm defenseless_, he realized with dread.

He looked around. He wasn't in the round cellar where the earlier fight had taken place. _It must be some adjacent room, below the street_. There were no windows on the walls, only a door; Severus thought that there was a fireplace as well, but he couldn't be confident in the dark. In other words, there was no point shouting for help. _The only one who'll hear me is the werewolf. And it's not like the denizens of Knockturn Alley will rush to my rescue anyway_.

Severus' eyes darted towards the fireplace once more. _Yes, it's there, __alright_. What were the odds that it was connected to the Floo Network? Relatively slim, he decided. The Ministry monitored Floo travel – or at least they tried to – and, as a rule, men like Greyback wanted to stay well out of their way. _Besides, I lack both fire and Floo powder_. _It would seem I'm trapped_.

All that Severus could do was wait.

Before long he heard steps, then the door creaked and opened, and Snape dimly recognized the shape of Greyback as he walked into the room.

"Awake, I see," the werewolf drawled. "Just as well. They'll arrive any moment now."

"Who will?"

"Try and guess. Give you a hint – it's not the house elves with your supper in hand."

"So you've already told the Dark Lord about me?"

"As a matter of fact…" But before Greyback could finish, the room was filled with a flurry of glow and sound, as if a thousand howling colors swirled up in a fraction of a second. Strange shadows danced and flickered on the walls and Severus averted his eyes, squinting in discomfort.

It was over as suddenly as it began.

Severus looked up. Oddly enough, he had to suppress the urge to smirk at the irony of it all. _I jumped right into their hands. And to think I always considered my cleverness to be my best trait. I'm a bloody idiot_. His life was one moronic blunder after another. _Driving Lily away. Joining the Dark Lord. Telling him about the prophecy. Becoming the old man's pawn. And now this. Well, it's apt, in a way. _

Snape and Greyback were no longer alone in the dark room. Now Severus was face to face with Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange. Lucius carefully placed a single tea cup on the floor. _A portkey. Of course._ The house was warded against apparation and it was too risky to travel through Floo. _But portkeys are easy to make, and harder to trace_.

It was Lucius who spoke first, turning to the werewolf, "What is this, Greyback?"

"I'm sure you know him," Fenrir's craggy face twisted into a grin. "Consider him a bonus."

Bellatrix approached Severus, a line forming between her thin, frowning eyebrows. She was a beautiful woman, tall and slender like her sister Narcissa, with thick dark hair styled in almost Byzantine magnificence that contrasted prettily with her fair skin; and yet there was _something_ in her tenebrous eyes... a malevolent glint, a glimpse of the horror inside, that had always made Severus feel nervous in her presence. He knew she was dangerous. Ever since she married Rodolphus Lestrange, the two of them, along with his younger brother Rabastan, had claimed a frightening infamy, even among the other Death Eaters. They were sadistic and homicidal, and they adored the Cruciatus Curse. They had tortured scores of wizards and witches… and Merlin alone knew how many muggles. And they were fanatically loyal to the Dark Lord.

"Severus…" she purred when she leaned so close to him that they could almost kiss. "I am so glad to see you." He strained himself now, desperately trying to pull the ropes. It was to no avail. "Hush, now," she scolded him playfully as her hand gripped his jaw with frightening force. "We'll leave soon enough. The Dark Lord will be so pleased with me when I bring you before him along with the boy…"

"Boy?" he croaked, confused.

"Shut your mouth, damn you," Lucius hissed at her indignantly. Bellatrix shot him an evil look, but said nothing more as she disentangled herself away from Severus. "Where is he? He was supposed to be here already," Lucius asked Greyback.

"He'll be here," the werewolf said.

_What is going on? What boy?_ Then it dawned on him and his mind froze in terror. _The boy… They're talking about Lily's son. No! No! No, she's safe, she's at Hogwarts, they cannot touch her there!_ Had all been in vain? _No, no, she's not dead, she can't be dead!_ _It's a mistake, they're wrong! _His heart was fluttering madly in his chest.

"He'd better be," Lucius muttered darkly, driving a gloved hand to straighten his long, white-blond hair. "We can't delay, Greyback. The Dark Lord is getting restless."

"I'm telling you, Malfoy, he'll be here. 'Tis not an easy feat, to smuggle in and out of that castle with a baby in tow, and in broad daylight!"

"Let's hope he'll prove to be as resourceful as the Dark Lord believes him to be, then."

"_I_ should have been chosen," Bellatrix said, clearly miffed. "None of you is more loyal to him than me!"

Fenrir Greyback said nothing, but Lucius glared at her. "You seem to forget, my dear Bella, that the Ministry is looking everywhere for that pretty face of yours. He could go to places you couldn't, without any risk of raising suspicion."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to retort, but then the door opened again and another man entered the room.

Severus was so surprised that he couldn't even gasp with shock. He simply stared, utterly bewildered. _Him?_

Bartemius Crouch Jr. stood there, a triumphant smirk on his freckled face. Yesterday, in the Headmaster's office he had seemed meek and subservient to his father, but now he stood straight and confident, his eyes gleaming eerily.

"Lucius, Bellatrix, Fenrir," he nodded at the others, then turned to the tied Snape and chuckled with amusement. "Severus. And what are _you_ doing here?"

Severus didn't even register the question. All his attention was fixed on the child in Crouch's arms. It had James Potter's black hair and Lily's bright green eyes. It _looked_ as if it was crying, but no sound came from the tiny mouth. _Crouch must have put him under the Silencing Charm_, he thought. Suddenly all he could feel was emptiness, a dark and bottomless chasm that engulfed his soul. _Lily defied the Dark Lord to protect the boy. She would never flinch from Barty Crouch_. _And if he's here, then… She's dead_. Dead, she was dead. Gone. After everything he'd done to save her, Severus had finally failed her in full.

A part of him was aware that his former allies were speaking with each other. He could hear the sounds coming out of their mouths, but his mind didn't bother to comprehend to the words. It was something about Slughorn, and the Imperius, and polyjuice potion… _Rambling, all rambling. _His mind was preoccupied with one thought, and one thought alone. _Crouch will die screaming._ Nothing else mattered anymore. Lily was gone. Severus was sure that soon enough he'd be dead too. But before he was finished, he'd do _that pox-faced, smug, inbred piece of Death Eater filth in!_

All thoughts escaped from Severus' mind. Suddenly, without any warning, as he sat slacked and bound in the chair, he swung himself sideways with savage force. He fell and landed right on the teacup portkey. The sound of breaking porcelain was almost as satisfying as Bellatrix's yelp of surprise. Even better, he felt that one of the legs of the chair was now broken and he was free to move his foot.

And then the ceiling crashed down.

Most of the bricks fell right on Fenrir Greyback's head. He reeled and went down. Crouch, Lucius and Bellatrix managed to jump away from the danger… but for those brief seconds they had forgotten all about Severus. He swung his free leg forward in a blind, vicious kick. The soft _thud!_ of boot meeting shin made him grin with glee. Bella stumbled sideways, her balance broken.

Something was roaring and thundering, and a ray of bright light pierced the darkness from above. _Is that a… motorcycle?_ Snape had managed to loosen the rope enough to stand. He turned his head to look at the hole in the ceiling. The light above was almost blinding, but he thought he could indeed make out the shape of wheels. _What is a motorcycle doing here?_

Then someone jumped down. Snape could recognize that man anywhere, though never before had the sight of him been welcome. _Sirius Black. Has the Order arrived? They must have chased Crouch down._

Lucius swore silently and drew his wand from its scabbard inside his cane and made to curse the intruder but Black was faster and surprise was on his side.

"_Stupefy!_" he roared and a beam of red light sent Malfoy flying right into a wall. He crumpled down on the floor.

Bellatrix shrieked in fury and shot a Killing Curse at Black. He swung sideways, nimbly avoiding the swirling green ray, and replied with a sloppily aimed _Incarcerous _that managed only to bind one of his cousin's arms. It was enough. Black sharply yanked his wand backwards, causing Bellatrix Lestrange to trip in her own robes. She slashed her wand into the air and a fiery cord cut through Black's charmed rope.

Bellatrix was completely focused on Sirius. She didn't even have a chance to defend herself when Severus tackled her on the floor. Normally, he preferred to overcome his enemies with spells, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He grabbed her right hand and _twisted_, forcing her to cry out and drop the wand.

"STOP!" Barty Crouch's voice echoed through Bellatrix's cry of pain and the roar of the motorcycle above them.

Severus turned his head sharply. The son of the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was cradling Lily's baby in one arm. With his other hand, he gripped his wand and had put the point against the child's forehead.

"Either of you make _one_ more move," he snarled, "and I'll _Expulso_ the little bugger's head off!"

Sirius froze in place, as if he noticed the baby for the first time. "Harry?! What…" The once-proud-to-be -Gryffindor composed himself as swiftly as a Slytherin. "If you harm Harry, I'll swear, I'll…"

"Shut up, you blood traitor!" Bellatrix shouted from the floor, coiling like a viper in Snape's hold.

Suddenly, Severus realized that there was no cavalry coming. _Bloody hell, Black has come alone! The fucking idiot!_

Still struggling with Lestrange, Severus realized that there was only one thing to be done. _One chance, and one chance only_. He locked eyes with Crouch and whispered, "_Legilimens!_"

He was without a wand, the splitting headache, the motorcycle's rumbling engine above and the writhing of Bellatrix in his arms were nothing but distractions… He should not have been able to do it, but, somehow, he did. Snape could sense his own consciousness lurching forward like an invisible bullet, fast and accurate as a thought. For a heartbeat he ceased to feel like a single person; he was the man kneeling over Bellatrix on the floor, and he was also the spelled tendril of his own mind flying towards Barty Crouch.

And then he was Barty Crouch as well.

The young man's consciousness was a vortex of hatred. Severus felt like he had fallen into a black river, and he could recognize all the different currents. He had expected that the resentment towards his father would be Junior's strongest hate-flow, but he was wrong. Oh, it was there, and it was powerful, that much was true. But there was one person who Barty Crouch hated more than his father.

Himself.

Scenes flashed in front of Severus' mind eye, images moving in the ink. A small boy crying himself to sleep. Crouch Sr. glaring at his, now much older, son with cold, uncaring eyes. The same small boy from before, waiting alone for the Hogwarts Express. The Dark Lord's pale lips twisting in a smile. A girl with a Hufflepuff scarf screaming under the Cruciatus. The small boy and his mother sitting quietly in front of a dinner table, staring at an empty chair. Narcissa Malfoy flying backwards after she was hit with the Stunning Charm, while two toddlers screamed in fright. The Dark Mark twisting under a young man's skin. Crouch Sr. nodding absent-mindedly after he was presented with a paper that contained a confirmation that his son had passed successfully twelve O.W.L.s.

All those scenes appeared for a mere fraction of the second. And almost all of them were dripping with the unmistakable sour tinge of self-loathing. _I know that taste well. _Crouch seemed pleased only when his memories and thoughts involved the Dark Lord. _He's as crazy as Bellatrix,_ Snape thought blankly.

The important thing was that the spell worked. Severus pierced Crouch's mind, and didn't even try to be subtle about it. He was good at this. When you were forced to become a double agent under the Dark Lord's nose, being good at occlumency was nothing more than necessity. Severus could conceal thoughts and shield his emotions, and in turn was fully able to penetrate other people's minds without them ever noticing, pulling his mind's punches. Now, however, was time to be loud and brutal.

When one was targeted with the Legilimens spell, he could feel the intruder inside his mind. The presence was alien and unpleasant, your own brain prickling with discomfort. An experienced legilimens could sneak in in a way that the victim sometimes never noticed; now Severus did the exact opposite. He dug his claws into Barty Crouch's mind like an invisible predator.

It worked like a wonder. One moment Crouch stood there, ready to kill Lily's son. The next, he grunted, squeezed his eyes shut and stumbled back. That was all that was needed.

"_Expelliarmus!_" Sirius Black shouted and disarmed Crouch in the blink of an eye. In the same moment Severus left the young man's consciousness, gaining another second or two while he was shaking his head, trying to recover from the confusion.

Snape leapt on his feet and grabbed the little boy from Barty's arms.

"Snape!" Black roared. "_Duck!_" For the first time in his life, Severus obeyed him without even a thought of argument and quickly crouched down. "_Confringo!_"

Barty Crouch barely managed to jump away from the fireball that crashed in the wall behind him.

Severus raised his head, only to see Bellatrix scrambling on the floor to get her wand back. Severus made for it as well, but the baby in his arms was squirming madly and slowed him down. She reached the wand and immediately pointed it towards Severus.

"The Dark Lord wants to kill you _and_ the boy himself," she declared. "But I think he'll forgive me if I do it for him. _Avada Kedavra!_"

Severus shielded the baby with his body and tensed up, prepared to die… But a dozen bricks flew right in front of the jet of lethal jade light and exploded in a cloud of white mortar and green smoke. Bellatrix Leastrange turned savagely to Black who promptly Stunned her.

Snape looked around. It seemed like hours had passed, but he knew that in less than three minutes he and Black had managed to take down four Death Eaters. _And we saved Lily's child. Oh, Lily, my Lily…_ His heart felt frayed and raw.

"What are you standing there for, Snivellus?!" Black cried. "Come on! Let's get out! You got Harry?"

"Y-yes. I got him."

Black nodded and ran out of the room. Severus followed him, cradling the baby in his arms. He heard muttered curses behind him and turned his head. He saw Barty Crouch trying to get back on his feet, his robes smouldering. Just beneath the gap in the ceiling, Fenrir Greyback started to move from under the rubble that had felled him.

Severus and Sirius ran into the large, round cellar where Greyback held his fights. A ray of crackling orange flame flew past them. Black turned and sent a series of battle hexes in its direction. The two of them reached the low hallway that led to the stairs and Knockturn Alley above. The hallway was completely submerged in darkness. Behind them they heard the echo of footsteps. Suddenly, the blackness was illuminated by a green flare that pierced the wall right next to Black, then everything went dark again. Black swore under his breath and turned again, but it was impossible to aim properly. The brief scarlet glow of the Stunner he sent didn't hit anyone but revealed that Crouch and Greyback had entered the hallway and were advancing towards the two runaways with wands drawn. Lily's son had ceased to fight against Severus. He held the tiny child close and could feel the mad thumping of his heart. _He's terrified. I must save him, for Lily's sake. _If they could only manage to get out of that accursed house and its anti-apparation wards…

Finally, they reached the steep stairs.

"Go," Black said. "I dispatched the doorman on my way in. We have to get Harry back to Ho…" He cried out in pain as thin cord of silvery light shot past him and cut his shoulder. Black hissed in pain and pressed a hand to the wound. "Go!" he roared.

More curses flew past their heads as they ran up. Black had turned and was climbing backwards, casting one Shield Charm after another. Some of the curses were ricocheting to the walls and the ceiling, causing clouds of mortar and dust to swirl in the air all around them.

Severus saw dim, almost grey glow up ahead. The door was ajar and the light of the day above was shining through the antechamber. _Few more steps, just few more steps…_ He jumped over the last one, and ran towards the door. He turned his head to see if Black was behind. Unfortunately, that caused him to lose his balance and he stumbled backwards, desperately trying not to fall.

He saw Fenrir Greyback pointing his wand at them and growling in satisfaction as the beam of the Killing Curse shot straight towards Severus and Lily's child. _No…_

"HARRY!" Sirius Black cried and hurled himself in front of them. The jet of green light hit him right in the chest and he flew back like a rag doll, falling face-first just next to the threshold.

Severus didn't hesitate. He swooped down, took Black's wand from his lifeless fingers and swirled back.

"_Sectusempra!_" he roared.

The spell hit Greyback hard. He howled with pain as a fountain of crimson blood erupted from his chest.

Snape ignored him and ran outside, jumping over Black's body. Barty Crouch let out a cry full of rage and threw himself after him.

The cold wind hit Severus' face and tousled his black hair. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and disapparated. He never noticed Crouch's hands clutching at his mantle.

Severus opened his eyes and saw the towers of Hogwarts, standing tall against the stark sky. _I made it. I made it._ He had managed to apparate just outside the Gatehouse – any closer and the spell just couldn't have worked. _Hagrid's hut is nearby. I made it._

The child in his arms squirmed, attracting his attention. He raised Black's wand and whispered, "_Finite Incantatem!_", removing Crouch's Silencing Charm. The toddler's whine echoed around the castle grounds.

Severus made to move forward and felt something falling on the grass behind him with a wet _thud!_

He turned around.

Barty Crouch's eyes were staring up at him. There was no life in them. A trickle of blood was slowly dribbling from his mouth. He had managed to grab at Severus just as he apparated. _Foolish, Crouch. Very foolish_.

The young Death Eater had gotten himself splinched. And now only the upper half of his body lay on the cold grass.

Snape turned and started walking towards the castle. It was time for answers.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**November 5, 1981, Hogwarts**

"_I don't_ _care!_" Lily shouted. Dumbledore flinched in his chair. "_I won't sit here!_"

"Lily, please," Minerva McGonagall said placatingly, "Calm down. We are doing everything we can."

Lily ignored her old Head of House, piercing the Headmaster with a murderous glare. "You said he'll be safe here," she hissed. "Not a week passes and my son is kidnapped. By one of your own staff. And now you want me to trust you again. No, _Professor_, it's not gonna happen."

"My dear, please be reasonable," he said weakly but was interrupted by a loud crackling in the fireplace.

They turned to see the flames swooshing green. A moment later Bartemius Crouch Sr. strode into the Headmaster's Office. Lily hadn't seen him in months but even she could notice that something was very wrong. Normally, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was very prim and proper, even somewhat stiff. Now his grey hair was disheveled and his face was almost purple. He was dragging a man behind him. It was…

"YOU!" Lily shrieked and reached for her wand, fully intent to eviscerate Horace Slughorn.

"Lily, wait!" McGonagall grabbed her hand. "Don't do something you'll regret!"

Crouch let go of Slughorn who stumbled and reeled on his feet. His clothes looked awfully tight, as if the garments he wore were made for a much slimmer man. _These are not the same clothes he wore few hours ago. What is going on?_

"What is the meaning of _this_, Albus?" Crouch growled. "Where is my son?"

"Barty… I…" Dumbledore seemed honestly befuddled, his blue eyes wide and confused.

"Less than half an hour ago I went to my son's office in the Ministry," Crouch Sr. was seething, barely keeping his temper in check. "And as we talked, he _transformed _into your Potions Master before my eyes. So I ask again, what is the meaning of this? Are you spying on me? _Me?_ _Where is my son, Dumbledore?!_"

The Headmaster's face was twisting with something that Lily was sorely tempted to call panic.

"Barty," he said softly, his voice deceptively calm. "Please, explain yourself. I saw your son yesterday, when you both came to speak with Mrs. Malfoy, you know that. He went to the Dungeons to see Horace…" Dumbledore's tone trailed off and he looked keenly at Slughorn. The Potions Master had sat on one of the chair in front of Albus' desk. He looked dazed, as if he was drunk. His beady eyes were unfocused and his lower lip was quivering beneath his mustache.

"Horace," Dumbledore said, "care to tell me what is going on? Where is young Barty Crouch? And Harry Potter?"

Crouch Sr. turned his head sharply when he heard that, but he said nothing.

"I… I don't know," Slughorn whispered. "Don't… don't remember… Mind feels like fog… Harry? I don't know… What happened with Harry? I don't… I'm not sure… I…"

"Look at me, Horace," Dumbledore said. His voice was gentle but everyone heard the order beneath. Slughorn complied. "Try to relax your consciousness. I am going to use occlumency on you," the Headmaster stated matter-of-factly, and before the Potions Master could say anything, his eyes shone like two twin polar stars, icy blue and determined.

A mere moment later Dumbledore averted his gaze and slumped on his chair.

"Albus?" McGonagall asked hesitantly when the Headmaster didn't spoke. He sighed and rested his bearded face behind his palm, his eyes closed.

"What I found out is not going to make any of you any happier," he said quietly. "Lily," he looked at her. "Harry was not abducted by Horace. You were supposed to jump to that conclusion, of course, but the kidnapper's appearance was merely a diversion."

"But… I don't understand," Lily protested. "I saw him!" she pointed at Slughorn. "_He _came to me and sent me here to get me away from him!"

"I'm afraid not, my dear. _Someone_ came and sent you to me, but it wasn't Horace." The Headmaster sighed again and his shoulders slumped even more. "Barty… I don't know _where_ your son is, but what I found out… I must warn you…"

"Out with it, Dumbledore!" Crouch all but shouted. "Or I swear to Merlin, I will close this school and throw you in Azkaban!"

"Very well. Yesterday, your son did not come here to help you with your job or to visit his old Head of House."

"What are you talking about?"

"Barty, I fear that your son may be in league with Voldemort."

"WHAT?!" Crouch Sr. roared. "HOW _DARE_ YOU! I'LL…"

"Yesterday he attacked Horace in his office. He used the Imperius Curse on him. He also had with him some unfinished polyjuice potion that he had shrinked and smuggled here without your knowledge. He used the equipment in the dungeons to finish and prepare two batches. One for himself and one for Horace. Horace was sent back to the Ministry in Barty's guise under the influence of the Imperius, while Barty himself took Horace's place here."

"This is preposterous!" the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement declared hotly. "Do you really expect me to believe this farce?!"

"I saw it in Horace's mind. If you doubt me and my word, my friend, I have a pensive here and we both can look into his memories. Or you could order for him to be administered Veritaserum. I trust, Horace, that you would be understanding if the need arises."

Slughorn nodded weakly. Lily doubted that in his current condition he understood much of what was discussed in front of him.

Crouch Sr. started pacing around the Headmaster's office. "But _why_?!" he barked. "Why would Barty do that?"

"Here," Dumbledore said, "comes what happened with Lily. Not two hours ago, her baby boy was abducted from Hogwarts. Clues pointed towards Horace," he looked back at the Potions Master, "but it's now clear that it was young Barty's work. Alas, we still have no idea where Harry is…"

Crouch Sr. was almost shaking. "Dumbledore," he hissed. "Where. Is. My. Son?"

Then a dark, velvety voice drawled, "Is the moment appropriate or shoud I come back later?"

All eyes in the Headmaster's office darted towards the threshold. _Sev? _And in his arms…

"HARRY!" Lily cried and ran towards Sev, blind and deaf to everything else.

Her baby squealed happily when he heard her voice and a second later she was holding him in her arms. She was laughing with relief and happines, and yet her eyes were misty and she felt warm tears trickling down her cheeks. _I feel so light I can just fly… _It was as if an enormous burden had fallen from her soul.

"Oh, Harry, sweetie," she almost choked with emotion, "I was so worried…"

"It's… Uh… It's okay, Lily. He's fine."

Lily looked up and for the first time in five years she met Sev's obsidian-black eyes. His face looked impassive and devoid of emotion.

"_Thank you…_" she whispered, unsure if she could trust herself not to start bawling in front of the Headmaster, her former Head of House and the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. _He's safe, my child is safe. And Sev… Sev… _

"Lily…" Sev said, softly and hesitantly, "Could we talk? Later, I mean. Obviously, after you and the boy rest up. There is… a lot I…"

"Yes," she promised him. "We need to. I'm sorry I ran from you before."

Sev nodded. Lily knew that most people found him to be emotionless and cold-hearted. That was far from the truth, but he _had_ learned to hide his feelings at an early age. _I'm probably the only person he's ever opened up to._ So, even now – five years later, she could see plainly the relief that was seeping from beneath his curt nod and the blank expression on his face. _That's just his way of defending himself. He pretends to be aloof and rude, so nobody can see the boy from Spinner's End he used to be._

"I have to go to the Hospital Wing. I'll check up on Narcissa. She got hurt trying to protect Harry. Draco will need a friendly face. Then I'll put Harry to sleep. You can come if you want?"

His eyebrows arched when she mentioned Narcissa but he didn't comment on it. Instead he shook his head and said, "I… I need to speak with him first," he nodded towards Dumbledore who was still staring at them with a mixture of shock and curiosity in his eyes. "A lot… happened, Lily. And the only good thing that came out of it all is that your boy is safe."

Lily knew that what he said was important but she couldn't care because Harry had just grabbed a lock of her coppery hair with his tiny fingers and was cooing and giggling softly with the pure happiness of little children who are close to their beloved mothers. _There would be time to care about all that later._

So she just left the Headmaster's office, turning only to give Sev quick directions to her room after he was finished. _Let them have their war,_ she thought, _I have my baby and that's all that matters_.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**November 5, 1981, Hogwarts**

Sev came to her almost two hours later.

Harry had fallen asleep in his crib and Lily was just standing there, looking over him. _He's here, he's safe._ She felt like she needed to keep watch over Harry, just to be reassured that everything was fine. _He looks so small and peaceful._

Narcissa had awoken by the time Lily arrived at the Hospital Wing and was under constant assault from Draco who had cuddled next to her and refused to leave her side. When she saw Harry in Lily's arms, she had taken a deep breath, shaking her head in disbelief.

"He's safe?" she had asked. "What happened?"

"Sev brought him back. I… I'm not yet sure exactly how. We're gonna meet and talk later."

"So they've got Slughorn? Good." Narcissa's voice had been cold and full of resentment.

Lily had hesitated then but decided to dive ahead. "They think that it wasn't Slughorn. That it was Barty Crouch Jr. in disguise."

Narcissa had frowned at that. Lily had thought that she was going to declare this an utter stupidity much like Crouch Sr. had but she said nothing.

"Narcissa," Lily had lowered her voice. "Is Barty Crouch a Death Eater?"

The blonde woman had averted her eyes. "Lucius… Lucius wouldn't want me to talk about this…"

"They took away my son!" Lily had cried and, to Narcissa's credit, she didn't look away or try to flinch from the redhead's ire.

"I know," she had whispered. "I… I don't _know_ if Crouch is with the Dark Lord or not. They… most of them keep their identities in secret. Lucius might know more but we never talk about it. However…"

"What?" Lily had asked when she saw the other woman hesitating.

"Well, it would explain everything."

"What everything?"

"For starters, the reason why Lucius told me to stay in the Manor while everyone else fled."

Lily had frowned. "What exactly happened, Narcissa? Tell me the truth!"

"I didn't realize it back then," the blonde had explained. "I thought he meant to protect me somehow. But now I wonder… Did the Dark Lord manage to deduce that Dumbledore will take me here? And that that would give Crouch an excuse to come here, pretending to be helping his father?" Narcissa had shrugged. "In any case, it explains a lot."

Lily had remained silent after that, pondering over Narcissa's words. Was it really possible? The implications of Narcissa's words were frightening. If she was correct, it meant that Lily had woefully underestimated the danger Harry was in. Two times in a row she had believed that they were safe, and two times in a row she had been proven wrong. _The first time cost me James. The second almost cost me Harry as well._ Lily hated to admit it, but things were beginning to move way beyond her depth and control. She had to step up if she wanted to keep her baby boy safe. _No more oblivious faith in other people._

Right now there was only one person in Hogwarts she felt she could trust, and that wasn't the Headmaster.

So when Sev finally arrived she had already reached a certain decision.

When he knocked softly on the door and she opened, Lily was dismayed to see how crushingly tired he looked. And on his left cheek and temple… _Is that dried blood?_ She had been unable to see any of it earlier – all her attention had been on Harry. But now, when she was calm and a little rested… _How is he even standing?_ Sev's face was lined and haggard, his eyes were dim and had sunk deep beneath his black eyebrows, framed by dark bags. His hair was disheveled, and he was barely keeping his shoulders from slumping down.

"Oh, Sev…" she murmured as she ushered him inside, "What happened to you? You look terrible."

For a brief, fleeting moment, Sev's exhausted eyes flashed with amusement. "I'm glad to see you too, Lily," he sneered.

She couldn't help it anymore. She threw herself at Sev and hugged him fiercely. He flinched for a moment, hesitating, then she felt his thin arms embracing her. Lily never noticed when the tears began to trickle from her eyes. She wasn't even sure what she was crying over. She never cried at James' funeral, refusing to be weak. She didn't cry when Harry was kidnapped either, instead all she had felt was rage and determination. But now… now, when Sev was back, she could allow herself some brief moments of vulnerability.

"It's… It's fine, Lily," he mumbled, obviously uncertain what to do or say. "Your son is okay, don't worry."

She clutched his shirt, trying to ease her heaving and compose herself.

Eventually she calmed down. She took a deep breath and looked up at him. Something in his eyes made her feel a bit shy all of a sudden.

"Lily…" Sev murmured, "I… I thought I lost you."

She frowned, not really understanding what he meant. "Lost me? What do you mean?"

He let her go and went to sit in one of the armchairs that were standing in front of the fireplace. Once he did, he let out a soft groan, as if he was in pain. "How much do you know?"

Lily went to the other chair and said, "Only that Harry was apparently kidnapped by Barty Crouch's son. He impersonated Horace Slughorn. Sev… Is it true? And how did you find him? And where were you? I looked for you, but Dumbledore said you're gone on a mission, and…"

The chuckle he let out quickly turned into a soft cough. Worried, Lily started to get up in order to get him some water, but he waved dismissively, "It's fine, Lily, don't worry. I'm just tired, is all."

"Sev, what _happened?_"

He sighed. "Yes, it's true. Your son was abducted by Crouch Jr."

She leaned against the back of the armchair and let her eyes wander towards the fireplace. The glow of the dancing flames was soothing. "So it's true, even Hogwarts is not safe from them," she mused.

"No," Sev admitted. "It's not. Though I doubt that Dumbledore will make another blunder."

Lily hesitated for a moment. "I don't trust him," she declared.

He gave her a careful look. "He doesn't mean you or the boy any harm, Lily," he said. "He's not going to betray you, if that's what you fear."

"I suppose not," she shrugged, "but he doesn't really _care_, does he? I saw the way he acts and thinks, Sev, clear as day. His intentions may not be bad on purpose, but all he cares about is winning the war. Casualties don't mean much to him. I can't trust such a man with my baby's safety." She gave Sev a questioning look, "Do you disagree?"

Sev was silent for a moment. "No, I don't," he sighed. "Everything you said… that has been on my mind as well."

"What was that mission that he mention you were on? And how did it happen that you came back with Harry? What happened to Crouch?"

Sev arched an eyebrow. "Dumbledore won't be pleased if I told you."

Lily frowned. "So? You don't trust him. Me neither. But I trust _you_, Sev. You were my best friend. You saved my life and Harry's too, twice. Maybe it's time for you to start trusting me as well."

In an instant his face became expressionless. It was as if all emotion left his eyes. _What? Why did he retreat? Did I say something wrong?_Moments later, Sev regained his composure and cleared his throat.

"Yes," he said. "Maybe it's time. But I warn you, if you want to know everything, you won't be happy to hear some of it."

"In case you haven't noticed, I haven't had many occasions to be happy lately anyway."

"Very well. Dumbledore sent me to Knockturn Alley today. I was in disguise and was supposed to look for stray Death Eaters or accomplices of theirs who might know what the Dark Lord is planning. Ever since the Order raided Malfoy Manor and took Narcissa and Draco captive, nobody had heard anything. Dumbledore hated the idea of being in the dark." Sev averted his eyes towards the fire. "Long story short, I mucked up and got myself captured by Fenrir Greyback."

Lily's eyes widened. "Wait, I… I _know_ that hame. That's… that's the werewolf who bit Remus. He told me once. He was still a child," she whispered.

Sev shrugged. "Greyback is not a nice fellow. He's not a Death Eater, but the Dark Lord uses his… services sometimes."

"Services," Lily parroted. "Meaning what? Killing people?" For a brief moment Lily remembered that Sev had once consorted with these men. _No. He turned back. He saved me. He saved Harry._

"Yes, Lily," Sev answered, his tone a bit irritated. "To kill people. You remember Edgar Bones? He was in the Order too, if I'm not mistaken."

"I remember him," she replied, saddened. She had heard about the death of the Bones family. "What about it?"

"He and his family were killed by Death Eaters. Greyback was with them that night. The Dark Lord wanted to make Bones watch as Greyback ripped apart his children. I heard later that Edgar Bones fought so furiously and loudly to prevent him from doing that, that he managed to wound Antonin Dolohov and they were forced to kill the whole family swiftly and flee before anyone came to the rescue." Lily felt sick as she listened to him. Why was he telling her this? "So, _yes_, Lily, that's what people like the Dark Lord and Greyback do."

She shook her head, trying to forget what she had just heard. She could easily imagine what poor Edgar must have felt. _After all, I was in the same position not so long ago, and awaited the same fate._

"Please, Sev," she said, "Just… just tell me what happened to you."

"Well, as to that," he shrugged, "Greyback took me captive, like I said, and I assumed that he intended to sell me to the Dark Lord."

Lily's brow furrowed in confusion. "But what that has to do with Harry and Crouch?"

"My assumption is that I merely found myself at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or," he hesitated, "rather the contrary, considering the outcome. Once I was subdued and bound inside the basement under Greyback's hideout, Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange arrived there with a portkey. They did not expect me to be there, and were actually waiting for Crouch. He came a bit later, and Harry was with him." Lily stared at him. "What?" he asked.

"Malfoy, Lestrange, Greyback, and now Crouch you say…" she said. "Sev, I know you're a powerful wizard, but how did you manage to come out of there alive, not to mention keeping Harry safe?"

He took a deep breath and scrunched up his face. "That's the part I warned you about. The one you won't like."

"Well?"

"At the time I didn't know it, but after I came back here and had my talk with Dumbledore, everything became clear." Sev cleared his throat. "Apparently, your friend Sirius Black doubted my loyalty and expressed his concerns to the Headmaster." Lily frowned. _What has that have to do with anything?_ Sirius and Sev had never liked each other, she knew that perfectly well, but she failed to see it, unless… _Oh no… No… _Sirius was hot-headed and reckless, even James had been worried about that in the past. Worse, he trusted Dumbledore completely. Lily's throat suddenly felt tight and constricted. "So," Sev continued, "Dumbledore decided to send him to Knockturn Alley after me. That way he'd satisfy the man's suspicion _and_ have someone watching my back, he said. I suppose that the old man was awfully pleased with this plan. I never knew that Black was following me. Never noticed him." He sighed. "I guess he somehow found out that I was in trouble. So just when Crouch arrived with your son, Black crashed into the basement with that flying motorcycle of his, wand blazing. In the chaos I managed to free myself. Black himself was as surprised by Harry's presense as I had been. We took them down, grabbed Harry and tried to flee. You see," Lily noticed that Sev's words were coming out ever more painfully, "the house was warded against apparation, so we had to climb out. Greyback and Crouch recovered and chased us." Sev paused, glaring at the flickering flames. "I didn't have my wand. I was carrying Harry and Black was trying to defend us. Greyback threw a Killing Curse at Harry. Black jumped in front of it and took it instead of Harry."

Sev stopped talking, allowing Lily to absorb what she had just heard.

She sat there, her gaze empty and her mind wandering.

James was dead. Not a week had passed and Sirius was gone too. _Sirius, always smiling and joking, and laughing. He loved James like a brother. He adored Harry._ Lily didn't doubt for a moment that Sirius would jump in front of a Killing Curse to save his godson's life. _Oh, Sirius…_ She wanted to weep, but found herself unable to. Instead she just hung her head down and covered her face with her palms, taking deep breaths.

"I…" Sev hesitated. "I'm sorry, Lily."

"Is he dead?" she asked, her face still hidden behind her palms.

"Lily… The curse hit him right in the che…"

"Not Sirius," she interrupted him. "Not Sirius. Greyback. Is he still alive?"

"I… I don't think so, Lily. I took Black's wand and hit him with a curse that will make him bleed to death."

There had been a time when Lily would have balked when hearing about such a spell. In fact, Sev's fascination with the Dark Arts was one of the more crucial factors that had driven her away from him back in school. _That Lily was a fool,_ she thought, _thinking that the world is a good place full of nice people_. What had that Lily known? Nothing! The woman that was sitting in front of Sev now actually felt a grim satisfaction when she heard that the werewolf will die slowly and painfully. _He ruined Remus' life and killed Sirius. He deserves it. I hope he drowns in his own blood_. _Remus? Oh, Merlin, does Remus know? _Lily's heart was aching for him. _They were his only friends, and now he'll be all alone._ Lily wanted to be there for him, to mourn with him. She closed here eyes. _How much more can we all take?_ she wondered. _And is fighting that war worth it?_

Lily looked at the door to the bedroom where Harry slept in his crib. She knew the answer to her own question.

She turned back to Sev. He was watching her in silence. "Sev," she began, her voice hoarse, "I… I don't know what to say. At the very least, I'm glad that both you and Harry are safe. But… Sirius… he…" she shook her head and stopped talking.

"I'm sorry, Lily," Sev repeated. "I know that he was your friend. Unfortunately," he sighed, "that's not all of it. Barty Crouch Jr. is dead too."

"What? How?"

"After I took down Greyback I ran out and apparated instantly. The fool tried to grab me. The result… wasn't pretty. And neither was his father's reaction when he found out."

"Oh, Merlin… Is he… Are you safe?"

Sev shrugged. "None of us is safe anymore, Lily. But Crouch saw the Dark Mark on his son's arm. He didn't blame me, if that's what you fear. I expect that he'll declare open war against the Dark Lord… Who still eludes us. The Aurors that arrived at Greyback's hideout reported that both Malfoy and Lestrange are gone, along with the werewolf. They recovered only Black's body. I have a bad feeling about all of this, Lily."

She sighed. It was time to let Sev know.

"Me too," she admitted. "All of this… This is too much, Sev. I can't involve Harry in this. I thought about it a lot." She looked at him straight in the eyes. "I don't care about the war anymore. All that matters is that I keep my baby boy safe."

Sev narrowed his dark eyes at her. "That… sounds somewhat unlike you, Lily."

"I know," she said. "But only when it comes to the crunch, you find out who you really are." She pointed towards the bedroom. "I am that little boy's mother and I _will not_ have him be in the middle of a war against a rampaging madman."

"What are you saying, Lily?"

"I am leaving."

He frowned. "I don't understand…"

"I am leaving," she repeated. "I'm leaving Hogwarts, I'm leaving Britain. I'm done. Look at me, Sev. In less than a week my husband was murdered, my son was abducted and one of my best friends died trying to protect him. Who dies next? Me? You? My sister? No. I'm done with this, Sev. Enough is enough."

The silence awashed the room. Sev leaned back in his chair and looked at her appraisingly. Finally, she couldn't endure anymore. "Well?" she asked. "Aren't you going to start convincing me that I'm wrong?"

"No," he said simply. Lily raised an eyebrow at that. "In fact, I think it's the best decision that you could have made."

She nodded, pleased. "Good, because I want you to come with me."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**November 6, 1981, The Crystal Cave**

The screams were louder than the thundering roar of the sea outside. _I am not shaking with fear_, Lucius Malfoy told himself. _It's merely cold. Yes. It's autumn and North Sea is cold. _

The fury of the Dark Lord had been terrifying to behold. Everything had fallen apart. Harry Potter was back in Hogwarts, Crouch Jr. was dead… _All thanks to Snape and Black._ At least his wife's cousin would no longer be a thorn in their side. Fenrir Greyback had seen to that.

Lucius wasn't sure how he felt about it. Sirius Black had been a blood traitor, true, and he had never liked him, even in Hogwarts. _He was an arrogant, little piece of shit_. But he had also been a pureblood. _And Narcissa's cousin_. Lucius wondered if she knew that he had been killed. _And if she does, will she be glad? Or will she mourn him? _Narcissa was nothing like her sister. She believed in the Dark Lord's cause, of course – all of them did – but cruelty was not in her nature. Lucius himself wasn't about to cry over Black's death. His head and neck still hurt from that Stunner back in Knockturn Alley. _Still… The man was from a pure line and a noble House. He shouldn't have been murdered by a mere werewolf_. That was it. Maybe Sirius Black _did_ deserve to die for standing against the Dark Lord and allying himself with mudbloods and traitors. But even purebloods as prodigal as him deserved a better death than one at the hands of a creature that wasn't even human.

Another gurgling scream pierced the damp darkness of the cave. _Well, Greyback is paying for it now. _

The three of them had returned empty-handed and beaten to the hidden cave beneath the cliffs where the salty waves of North Sea crashed against ancient rocks. The Dark Lord had said that this place was secure, that nobody would find them there after they had left the Manor… and he had been right, as he always was. Rookwood, somehow still managing to slip undetected and spy for the Dark Lord inside the Ministry itself, claimed that the Aurors were searching everywhere for them, to no avail.

So the Dark Lord had decided that they were to move quickly. He wanted to kill Harry Potter. Lucius never dared to ask why. Perhaps he just desired to finish what he started on Hallowe'en. It mattered not. The Dark Lord had to get what he wanted and it was the Death Eaters' duty to oblige him. And so Lucius, thirsty for recognition, had hatched the whole plan. The Dark Lord had been certain that Dumbledore would come after him soon after Severus' betrayal on Hallowe'en. He meant to hide all of them here, in the cave by the sea, but it had been Lucius' idea to leave Narcissa and Draco behind in the conviction that Dumbledore would likely take them back to Hogwarts. That way his wife could be used as a means to allow them entry in Hogwarts. Impressed with Lucius' scheme, the Dark Lord had contacted Crouch Jr. and gave him his orders. _Going in, taking a teacher's place, getting the baby and going back to Greyback's safehouse where me and Bella would take it back here. It was going to be so simple, such a triumph…_

Instead somehow Severus had entangled himself into the mess, captured by the werewolf by mere chance, and with him came Sirius Black and their failure. _How could I have foreseen it?!_

And so when Lucius and Bellatrix returned to the cave late that night, dragging the bleeding werewolf with them, Lucius was certain that he was going to die. After all, the Dark Lord was notorious for his low tolerance of failures.

Even now, hours later, he remained unharmed. The same could not be said for the other two.

Bella had been blasted with the Cruciatus until she passed out. Lucius glanced at her, still crumpled on the rocks. Her husband and his brother never said a word in her defense, they had just stood there and watched impassively while she screamed and slithered under the Dark Lord's anger.

As to Greyback… Well, a part of Lucius was morbidly curious to know what _was_ happening to him. Another, much wiser part, insisted that he'd be better off in ignorance. By rights the werewolf should be dead already. That curse that Severus hit him with was a nasty piece of work. The gash in his massive chest literally _couldn't_ stop bleeding, resisting every healing spell that Lucius had tried on him back in Knockturn Alley while Bella was preparing a new portkey. _How much blood does he have in his body?_ It seemed that Fenrir Greyback's beastly endurance would allow him to survive a little longer… but sooner or later he would have bled out. _Apparently the Dark Lord can indeed hold off death itself._

The Dark Lord had taken the werewolf deeper into the cave, where none of them were allowed. Sometimes Lucius' curiosity gnawed at him and he wondered what was hidden into the black depths that lay beneath the rocks. _There must be something. This place was not chosen by accident. The Dark Lord must keep something there, something hidden_. Not that Lucius was about to snoop around. _Defying the Dark Lord is not for me._ Only he knew what secrets awaited in the dark. _Well, he and Greyback now. Though I doubt the creature will be able to talk about it_.

A gust of salty wind bore its cold fingers inside the cave, rustling the black cloaks and robes of the men huddled here, trapped between the bellowing sea and the stormy night sky. Lucius shivered again and looked around, nervous. Another scream came from the depths of the cave. _Look at them, they pretend not to notice anything!_

Old Nott was standing at the edge of the cliff, staring into the tall waves crowned with grey foam that crashed in the jagged basalt spires that surrounded the mouth of the cave. Dolohov and Rosier were talking quietly to each other in a dark corner. The Lestrange brothers were simply sitting next to the still unconscious Bella, gazes wandering into nothingness; unlike Lucius' sister-in-law, the two of them were usually quiet and reserved, preferring to keep to themselves. _They liven up only when they're about to Crucio someone._

Lucius didn't fail to notice that all of them were not ignoring only Greyback's echoing shrieks. _They're ignoring me too. I'm a dead man to them,_ he realized. He could almost taste the bile. _It wasn't my fault, the Dark Lord must see that. How could I have predicted such interference?_

The werewolf screamed again, louder than the last few times.

The echo was still bouncing faintly against the rocky walls of the cave when the Dark Lord emerged from the darkness. He was alone.

Lucius had to force his heart to calm itself. He drove a shaky hand through his long hair. _Am I next?_ Maybe, if he was lucky, he would only be tortured for a little while. Despite the chill in the air, he could feel his palms and neck sweating.

The Dark Lord's gait was calm. He walked on the cold stones with the same ease he had had on the thick carpets inside Malfoy Manor. His red, reptilian eyes fixed Lucius and he smiled. He came closer. Lucius' eyes darted towards his master's sides. The arm he had lost on Hallowe'en had soon been replaced by a new one. In the gloom of the cave one could not see it clearly, but it was made of some shiny, dark metal that was somehow just as agile and flexible as flesh was. Though Lucius suspected that it was stronger as well, and there was no doubt that it was touched by old, fell magic.

"Lucius, my friend," the Dark Lord purred almost gently, "come have a word with me."

In a brief, maniacal flash of panic Lucius was afraid that his lips were glued together and he couldn't talk. He swallowed hard. "Yes, my lord," he croaked. "Of course."

The Dark Lord headed to the cave's entrance. Nott noticed them, bowed his head and retreated, leaving them to speak in private. Lucius stood next to the Dark Lord and stared down, to the angry watery abyss below. The autumn gales were wracking the North Sea and the waves thundered on, relentless. _If he kills me here, they will never find my body._

"You failed me today, Lucius," the Dark Lord declared. Somehow his soft voice wasn't muffed by the roar of the sea.

"My lord, I…" Lucius started, hellbent to beg his way out of this whole mess. The Malfoys were proud folk. But no so proud as to deny themselves the opportunity to do what must be done to survive.

"Be silent, my slippery friend," the Dark Lord's dismissal sounded almost bored. "If I intended to kill you, I would have done so already."

Lucius fell on his knees. The rocks were hard but the discomfort was meaningless Dark Lord turned his pale face to him and smirked. "Thank you, my lord," Lucius murmured humbly, "Thank you. Please forgive me. I will not fail you again."

"No," the Dark Lord replied. "You won't. But I never said anything about forgiveness, Lucius."

"My lord?" he whimpered, his body tense and ready to be hit by the Cruciatus Curse at any moment.

"I nedded Harry Potter, Lucius. You had him in your grasp and let him slip away, along with that mudblood-lover Severus. I wonder, Lucius," the Dark Lord drawled, "I wonder… You were the one who brought Severus into the fold. Could it be that you're about as loyal as your friend?"

"No!" Lucius shrieked. All his riches, all the pureblood dignity forgotten. _If he even begins to suspects you of disloyalty, you're dead!_ "No, my lord! I swear! I failed, yes, but it was a mistake, nothing more! I would never betray you!"

"Is that so, Lucius?"

"My lord, I would do anything, _anything_, to make amends for my failure!"

"How magnanimous of you, my friend," the Dark Lord sneered. "But so be it. I will give you another chance."

"My lord?"

The Dark Lord crossed his arms, the metal one over the real, and looked out to the sea.

"We must assume that Harry Potter is beyond our reach for now. Dumbledore knows I want the boy, and he'll throw everything he's got in protecting him. Even worse, he might manage to hide the babe and its disgusting whore of a mother away from me."

Lucius hesitated before he asked, "So what would you have us do, my lord?"

The Dark Lord did not answer immediately. "We cannot take Hogwarts by storm. But there are those who can. Those who could just force their way inside, while we must try and sneak in."

"I am ready to serve you, my lord. Just tell me how."

"Despite the abysmal job you did in Knockturn Alley, Lucius, we might be able to salvage this situation. Did you know that Greyback killed Sirius Black with Severus' wand?"

Lucius frowned. "My lord, what has that got to do wi…"

"Severus is now Dumbledore's favorite pet. The two of them are together, working against us. And it's unlikely that we could remove either of them forcefully. But maybe if we tried a different touch… The Wizarding World thirsts for our blood, Lucius. We are painted as villains instead of the idols we should be," he turned to Lucius, his red eyes gleaming in the night. "We could use this against them. I am convinced that Dumbledore is either keeping Severus' past standing with us a secret, or he's managed to hide his own connection to your friend." The Dark Lord laughed softly. "Regardless, imagine what would happen when the Ministry learns that the Headmaster of Hogwarts is consorting with the Death Eater who murdered Sirius Black, the hero."

Lucius' eyes widened. The potential this idea had was frightening. _But how do we achieve that? No, how do I achieve that? He's telling me all of this for a reason. This is my chance to redeem myself. He wants me to do it._

"My lord," Lucius began carefully, "I am not sure how we could approach this. We have the wand, so we could probably make use of the Priori Incantatem… but the Ministry would not turn easily. Bagnold is a weakling, but she supports Dumbledore and a lot of power has passed in the hands of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I fear, my lord, that Crouch will not pay heed to us. His son's death… he will not rest until he's caught us, my lord."

"Crouch and Bagnold are insignificant, Lucius. We simply need a new Minister of Magic, one who will be more inclined to listen to wisdom," The Dark Lord's twisted smile sent chills down Lucius Malfoy's spine. "And you're the one who will make it happen."

Lucius simply stared up at the Dark Lord, his mouth slightly agape. _Bloody hell… And how am I supposed to do that?_ He could probably make use of his fortune to buy off some of the members of the Wizengamot and then use the legislators and the bureaucracy to tear Millicent Bagnold down from the shadows, but such things took time. And he didn't need the Dark Lord to tell him out loud that for all the Malfoy gold in the world, time was a luxury Lucius could no longer afford.

He had no choice. _There is no escape from this. I will either succeed or die._

Lucius bowed his head, still on his knees before his master. "Yes, my lord. As you wish."

"Yes, Lucius, just so," the Dark Lord gave him a dismissive gesture and made to step back into the cave. Then he turned and eyed Lucius. A stray beam of moonlight pierced the clouds and illuminated his pale face. His red eyes shone slyly. "And, Lucius, remember that I spared you my wrath tonight. Rest assured, if you fail me now, I will make sure that you will watch while the beautiful Narcissa and young Draco pay for your mistakes."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**November 6, 1981, Hogwarts**

The rain was pouring over the towers of the castle with a gloomy determination that reflected well with Severus Snape's mood. He was walking towards the Great Hall to get breakfast, lost within the currents of his own mind. _How did I get myself into this? _

By Merlin, he _should_ be happy! He ought to be skipping on his way, to laugh victoriously over James Potter's memory. _I succeeded where you failed, Potter. I managed to save your son and now your wife wants to run away with me. Me. The pathetic runt whose childhood you haunted. I am here with her, and you're dead. _This was what he _should_ have been saying to himself right now. Instead, all he could feel was how his innards were coiling themselves into a tangle of apprehension. Something bad was coming, he could almost feel it in his bones.

_Who are you kidding, Snivellus? What are you imagining? A romantic getaway with her, while the moon lightens up the path? You're a fool. Worse, you're a fool in love. Always have been. _The future that awaited him and Lily was nothing but a life in fear. That's what reigned over a fugitive's life. He tried to tell himself that it was going to be fine, that it would give him a chance to make amends and repair the relationship that was destroyed five years ago… _That she might start feeling the same way towards me._ A small, irrational part of Severus wanted him to punch himself in the face. _Like that's going to happen._

A fool in love he may be, but Severus Snape was not a complete dunderhead. Lily thought that this was going to be something temporary, something that had to be done to protect her son while the Ministry of Magic and what remained of the Order of the Phoenix managed to bring the Dark Lord down. _Nothing is ever that easy, Lily_, Snape thought sadly. He had the venomous feeling that the winner of the war was not going to be the one Lily wanted.

At best, they would spend their lives in hiding abroad. At worst, the agents of the Dark Lord would find them. _A month from now, a year, two, three, five, a decade… It matters not. _Still, it was better than to sit in Hogwarts and willingly turn into Dumbledore's puppets, ready to be discarded by his desperate schemes. _If we stay here, we'll get ourselves killed anyway. At least if we flee, we'll have a chance._

Severus never noticed exactly when he had began to think like that. _We?_ Then again, if he had to be honest with himself, it was pointless to pretend otherwise. Whenever Lily went, he would follow. _I will not abandon her. _Even if she hadn't expressed a desire for him to accompany her in exile, he would have gone after her regardless. _Nothing is more important than her._ Sometimes, while he lay awake in the black hours before dawn, a part of him realized that he was like an insect drawn to a flame. _And never a metaphor has been so apt,_ he thought, thinking of her red, fiery hair.

After that accursed day when he had called her a mudblood, he _had_ tried to forget her, to move on with his life and what promised to be a trip to undreamt power. At first, it had been fueled partly by his anger, and later, from a desire to dull the pain as he saw her allowing Potter to hold hands with her, to embrace her and whisper in her ear before he kissed her… He had thrown himself into studying the Dark Arts then, and soon after that into the Dark Lord's service. But a part of him always refused to forget Lily, to erase her completely from his mind. _She was the only person who ever treated you good. The only one who thought you are not worthless._ He refused to let her die once. Now his life had no other meaning besides keeping her safe. _What do I care who rules the Wizarding World? The Dark Lord can have it, if he wants it so badly. But he can't have Lily. And neither can Dumbledore. _

Besides, the world was far bigger than Britain and the Dark Lord couldn't conquer it _all_. Someone would stop him, eventually. Or so Severus hoped.

And yet, still it persisted. The gnawing, half-blind sense of the doom that was looming above them all… _We must not waste time._ Lily intended for them to leave tomorrow. For all Severus knew, she was preparing her luggage right now. He had urged her to do it even sooner, and in secret. _The fewer people that know, the better._ Lily had decided to wait a day, insisting that he get _some_ rest after his ordeals in Knockturn Alley. She also refused to sneak away like a thief in the night as Severus wanted. She was going to announce her decision to the Headmaster fair and straight, the Gryffindor in her resisting any attempt to do things in a subversive way.

Severus was so lost in his thoughts that he never noticed the lanky man that was walking towards him. So when the two of them crashed into each other, Snape staggered back, stumbling in confusion. He raised his eyes and looked straight into Remus Lupin's face.

The werewolf had never looked _good_. For as far as Severus could remember, he had a sickly air around him, like someone who didn't knew what a full night of peaceful sleep was. Even back when they were children, Lupin was always the one who fit the least among the Marauders. James Potter and Sirius Black were both loud, healthy boys that eventually grew to be strong men. Even Pettigrew, though never a strapping lad, looked better than Lupin. _And yet, they're all gone and here he is._

This morning, however, Lupin looked at his worst. His eyes were sunken, his haggard face was ashen and his hair was messy and disheveled. He looked like a drunkard who had woken up with a particularly nasty hangover. _If only his problems were as small and easy…_ Severus knew that Lupin had never tried to drown his sorrows in alcohol. _Well, maybe he should. It did wonders for my father._

With a certain level of discomfort Severus realized that the werewolf was too close to him. A small part of him still couldn't forget that night of terror years ago. As much as he hated to admit it, he was afraid of Remus Lupin. He despised the other Marauders, true, but Potter, Black and Pettigrew never gave him nightmares. The same could not be said for their friend. _Ironic, really, considering he's the tame one._ And yet, no matter how mellow the man seemed, there was a beast lurking inside of him. _I must not fear him. I already killed one werewolf. I can deal with another._

He cleared his throat, "Well, Lupin," he said, hesitantly, trying to be polite. It wasn't necessary to antagonize him. "Good morning. I didn't see you. I suppose you were lost in thought too."

The werewolf's eyes swept over him, unfocused and dim. He shook his head, as if trying to clear his thoughts. "Oh," he mumbled. "Yes. Sorry, Severus."

With that he went around Snape, his gaze blank. Severus shrugged. _I suppose I can understand him. Two of his best friends are dead and the third turned out to be a traitor. _Severus didn't have to wonder what he would feel like if Lily had died in Potter's stead. _Though it's not a fair comparison. I've been in love with her for so long…_ The only other person that Severus would consider a close friend had been Lucius, and yet now they were enemies. _Back in Greyback's basement he would have taken me to the Dark Lord without batting an eye._ Strangely enough, Severus did not feel the urge to shamble around Hogwarts because of that. _Maybe because I have more important things than Lucius to live for. Lupin may not be as fortunate._ Severus shrugged inwardly. _What do I care about Lupin? He can go and leap off the Astronomy Tower if he so wishes. The world will be one werewolf short and the better for it._ He started walking towards the Great Hall when he heard a voice behind him.

"Severus?" Lupin called.

Snape turned. "What can I do for you?" he asked, a bit tersely. He had no time to waste on the werewolf.

"How did he die?" Lupin asked.

Severus frowned and answered with a question, "Didn't the Headmaster tell you?"

Lupin shook his head. He looked absolutely miserable. "I saw his body last night. I… um… I had to identify it officially and sign all the papers for the funeral. His parents didn't want to have anything to do with him," he sighed. "Dumbledore said that I would be happier if I didn't know any details. He told me only that he was killed by Death Eaters and that you were there."

Severus almost snorted. _Dumbledore really does think of us as if we are children._ Remus Lupin may have been a lot of things, but he was a grown man who had pledged his life to fight against the Dark Lord. He was not a child whose feelings needed to be spared. But then he remembered what Lily told him. _Greyback was the one who made him what he is. If he finds out that he murdered Black as well…_ In his current condition, Severus could easily imagine him going on a rampage and getting himself killed. _And what would Lily say if that happened and she knew I could prevent it?_

"You know that Lily's child was kidnapped yesterday?" he asked.

"I heard about it this morning. How is she holding up?"

"She's glad that he's okay," Snape shrugged. "What else can be expected?"

"I'm relieved to hear it. Maybe I should pay her a visit. She's probably sad about Sirius too. But, Severus," Lupin looked him with a slight frown, "What that has to do with what I asked you?"

"It has. At the same time Dumbledore sent me on a mission to Knockturn Alley where I got myself captured by the Death Eaters. Barty Crouch Jr. had kidnapped Harry and arrived at their hideout later. Black had tracked me on Dumbledore's behest and barreled in. He saved Harry's life and my own," Severus stared at the werewolf, "He fell in combat, hit by the Killing Curse."

Lupin squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment, as if he was trying to hold back tears.

"He… He didn't trust you," he croaked. "He was so sure that you were loyal to You-Know-Who… He… The day before yesterday he told me that Dumbledore had listened to him and had an assignment for him. That must have been it…"

Severus had to bite down the acidic words that sprang to his lips. _Then he was the biggest nitwit that ever walked the Earth. I turned against the Dark Lord openly. I cut his arm off! What more did Black want?!_

"I suppose I could understand him," he lied through his teeth, still not wishing to antagonize the grieving werewolf.

"Couldn't you help him, Severus?" Lupin asked, his voice dripping with desperation.

Severus shook his head. "I didn't have my wand, and Harry was in my arms."

The werewolf's shoulders slumped down. "Well," he muttered slowly,"I suppose that's not so bad. At least he gave his life for Harry. I know he wouldn't regretted doing so." He met Snape's black eyes. "Thank you, Severus. I appreciate that."

Snape nodded, and headed back.

Then Lupin's voice called once again, "Severus," Snape turned and waited. "Did you see who killed him?"

Severus looked Lupin straight in the eyes and said, "No. They were all wearing their masks."

Lupin sighed, turned his back to Severus without words and walked away.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**November 7, 1981, The Ministry of Magic**

Cold water was trickling down his neck, into the collar of the velvet mantle. _I feel like a rat._ Lucius Malfoy took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. The air was filled with a faint, putrid smell. They were so deep beneath London that Lucius was almost ready to wonder if they somehow had found themselves into some fairy tale underworld.

"So this is how you scurry about?" he asked the man that was walking through the tunnel.

Augustus Rookwood turned his head and smirked. Even in the gloom of the sewers, Lucius could notice the deep pock marks that marred his thin face. "Well, Malfoy," the spy drawled, "what did you expect? How did you think it worked? That I simply heard things around the Ministry and then ran to the Dark Lord?"

Lucius shrugged. "I thought you used the benefits of your job. That's what I would have done."

The spy rolled his eyes. "Then you know nothing of the Department of Mysteries. I am an Unspeakable. I literally _can't_ talk or discuss anything about my job. Not even under the effects of the Imperius or Veritaserum," Rookwood snickered quietly. The sound was unwelcome and unsettling in the dark. "The Dark Lord knows this. And besides, the really _interesting_ news never reach my Department. Most Unspeakables are just weirdos with dusty brains. I bet some of them don't even realize that there's a war going on. No, the only use of my job is that nobody pays me any attention. Not even the Aurors bother with the Unspeakables."

Lucius had talked with Rookwood before. Nothing meaningful, but the two had exchanged casual words and knew of each other. He always thought that the spy was an amiable fellow, in a harmless sort of way. But now Lucius was beginning to realize that all that time he had seen just a mask, a false face smiling at the world. Here, in the dark tunnels that coiled beneath the Ministry, the man's true form was emerging. _He's a cold man, and dangerous._ Lucius imagined Rookwood, trekking hunched through the gloom and the stench, unseen and unsuspected, finding the hidden paths that led to the heart of the Ministry itself. He saw secrets, he heard whispers that were not meant for his ears… And later, people died.

_Stop it, you fool!_ Lucius shook his head, angry at himself. Long strands of hair fell in front of his face, so pale that they seemed almost white in the darkness. _What do you care? Rookwood is simply serving the Dark Lord, and so are you! Think of Narcissa! Think of your son!_

"Is it far?" he asked the spy.

Rookwood clicked with his tongue, annoyed. "We're not there yet," he said, "but I won't make you walk in the dark for much longer, Malfoy. Don't fret."

And so they walked on. A few times they moved through passageways that were so black that Lucius had to find his way with his cane like a blind man. He felt the ghostly touch of cobwebs on his face and hair and almost quaked with disgust.

Finally the two men reached what seemed like a dead end, a wall of solid rock. Lucius frowned and looked at Rookwood who only smirked and nodded upwards with his head. Lucius followed the movement with his eyes and saw it – a gaping hole in the stony ceiling just above their heads. It was so dark that it was impossible to see how far it went up.

"That's it?" Lucius asked.

"That's it," Rookwood confirmed. "It goes all the way up to Level One. Then there's a passageway that'll lead us straight to Bagnold."

"And you're convinced this is secure?" Lucius insisted. "That the Aurors don't know about it?"

The spy shrugged, "We're beneath even the Courtrooms, Malfoy. The way is secure enough. I've used it for months now and I haven't been caught, have I?"

As much as he didn't like it, Lucius had to admit that Augustus Rookwood was right. _Insufferable he may be, he is still a capable servant of the Dark Lord._ The fact that he _still _not only eluded capture but even suspicion was testament to that. Lucius had no other choice. He had to rely on Rookwood to complete his task.

So he nodded and said, "How do we go up? Does it have some sort of stair?"

"No," the spy shook his head, "It's part of why it's a safe passage. One looks down and sees only a chasm. Not a place where folks are like to climb from."

"Very well," Lucius drew his black wand from the scabbard inside the cane and pointed it at himself, "_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

And suddenly his body felt lighter than a feather. The earth no longer shackled his feet. He jumped up gently, just to give himself a slight nudge. He floated up into the air, arms stretched out for balance. He used his wand to guide his movement. The black hole in the ceiling came closer and closer until the darkness swallowed him.

He rose into the blackness like a spirit wandering through the shadows, his long cloak flapping softly in the air. The hole was so utterly dark that Lucius had to use his free hand to guide his flight.

"Malfoy," came a whisper from below. Lucius looked down but his eyes could not pierce the darkness that lay beneath the Ministry of Magic. Yet his instincts told him that Rookwood was near, following him closely.

"What?" he croaked back.

"We are getting close," Rookwood said, "Once we get out of the tunnel, float four feet to the right."

"Understood," Lucius nodded and a moment later he realized how stupid the gesture was in the heavy, impenetrable darkness. _Sweet Merlin, I'm going mental!_

Suddenly Lucius felt the touch of fresh air caressing his face and tousling his long hair. He took a deep breath, grateful after the stale chasm. He landed where Rookwood had instructed. The spy arrived a few moments later.

Here it was merely gloomy. Compared to the pitch black tunnel below, it was a welcome change for Lucius.

Here Rookwood took over once again. Lucius followed him, the two of them scurrying in the dark like rats. When the spy stopped and put an arm back to halt the other Death Eater, Lucius knew they had arrived.

Lucius looked around. They were standing in a wide hallway with a low ceiling. On one side there was nothing but bedrock. On the other side, however, there was a smooth wall, clearly built by human hands. _Amazing. Who knew that the Ministry was riddled with such a tunnels?_ Then again… it probably shouldn't have been such a surprise. _We wizards are a secretive people. Had to be, since so many of us wanted to hide from the muggles instead of ruling over them._

"_We're here,_" Rookwood whispered, in a voice that was barely audible. He pointed up.

Lucius' eyes followed the spy's hand and he saw it. A stony ledge that was protruding from the wall just above their heads. Its length began and ended somewhere far in the dark. Rookwood jumped up, nimble like a cat, caught the ledge and pulled himself up.

Lucius did the same, trying to hide the discomfort that the velvet mantle that embraced his shoulders and back caused him. _I am not made for this. But it's the only way to redeem myself in the Dark Lord's eyes. _

As he struggled to pull himself up, he glanced at Rookwood who was staring at him insolently. _When I get back in the Dark Lord's good graces, there will be hell to pay for all those smirks and stares, Augustus, don't fret._

Before them stood another wall. Rookwood moved gingerly forward and put his face close to it, as if he was trying to hear something. He made a few steps to the left, one to the right, stopped and listened once more.

Lucius hesitated for a moment and joined him. He couldn't hear anything. _What is he listening for?_

Then he heard it. The soft sound of muffled footsteps on the other side of the wall. Lucius frowned, trying to focus. _This is a woman walking. We're at Bagnold's office_.

He raised his wand, ready to blow the wall up. _We must be quick. There are Aurors standing on guard at her door._ Then Rookwood caught his hand. The spy's fingers were surprisingly hard and rough. He glared at Lucius and shook his head. The signal was clear. _Not like this. There is another way._

Rookwood made a few more steps to the right and placed his palms high on the wall. The two bricks beneath his fingers caved in and the spy was able to literally slide a part of the door sideways, as if it was on hinges.

Light poured into the darkness, blinding Lucius as he rushed forward. He had to use his cane to navigate his way for the first few steps. He heard the crackling of wood and felt the hotness of sparks against his legs. _The fireplace? Really, Rookwood?_ He had to sidestep a few smouldering logs, and the heels of his dragonhide boots crushed a few embers.

The sound startled the woman that was pacing across the office with her back towards the fireplace and she turned around.

Millicent Bagnold, Britain's Minister of Magic, was older than Lucius by at least a decade but still looked presentable. Narcissa would have scoffed at her simple hairstyle and robes, but there was something in her that appealed to people. Lucius felt a momentary pang of regret. _She doesn't deserve this. But she was not made to lead the Wizarding World and she must be removed. _

Lucius stepped out of the fireplace and pointed his wand at the Minister. He could hear Rookwood following through.

"Mr. Malfoy," Bagnold said. She was trying to keep her voice calm but her brown eyes betrayed her true feelings. She was afraid. "And Augustus Rookwood. I see."

"Keep your voice down and no harm will come to you, Madame Minister," Lucius lied. "We have but a simple request to make."

Bagnold's eyes darted towards the door. Rookwood saw this and smirked, "Who is on duty today, Minister?" he asked with a jolly voice that contrasted with his drawn wand and dangerous gaze. "Some young buck, I wager? The good ones are out and about, chasing rumors and ghosts," he chuckled as if the thought amused him. "Is it Shacklebolt? Longbottom?"

Lucius shot him with a glare. _I am in command now, spy. Keep your mouth shut._

"Like I said," he looked back at Bagnold. "We are here because we want you to do something for us, Madame Minister. Do it, and nobody needs to be harmed." He nodded to the heavy mahogany door, "You could cry out and the Aurors that guard your office will burst in. They'll probably capture or kill Augustus and me. But by the time that happens, you'll be dead. So, Madame Minister, what will it be?"

Before the war, Lucius had spoken a little with Millicent Bagnold. After the death of his father, when the Malfoy fortune passed to him, he had learned that one of his responsibilities was to keep in touch with the Ministry. His vast wealth was a tool of power in and of itself, and people were attracted to it like nails to a magnet. This had gifted him with the opportunity to take the measure of Minister Bagnold. _She's amiable, doesn't want nor know how to fight a war and she wishes someone else could share the burden. _This was the reason why people like Bartemius Crouch or Albus Dumbledore were able to do whatever they pleased and hinder the Dark Lord at every turn. _This is not a woman who will sacrifice herself to spite me._

It turned out that Lucius was right. A few moments later, Bagnold looked at him and gulped fearfully, yet still trying to keep the façade of bravery, "What do you want?"

"Nothing much, I assure you," Lucius gave her a small smile. "I just want you to summon the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement here."

"Call Barty? Here?" Bagnold frowned. "I do not understand…"

"He is at work, I was told," he glanced at Rookwood, "After the death of his son he dedicated all his time to the war against the Dark Lord, did he not?"

"B-barty Jr…" the Minister stuttered. "He said that you killed him."

"Me?" Malfoy arched a blonde eyebrow, "I assure you, I had nothing to do with it."

"Not you in particular, Malfoy," Bagnold shrugged, "But followers of You-Know-Who."

"Is that so? Well, I don't know about that…" Lucius shrugged, "In any case, Madame Minister, do not try to dally. Call Crouch here and everything will be over soon."

"And what will you do after he comes? You'll kill us both so You-Know-Who can finally rule the Ministry?"

"Do not fear, Madame Minister," Lucius said, "If I intended to assassinate you, I would have done so already, wouldn't I? Come on, now," he waved with his wand towards the fireplace.

She didn't have a choice. As she went to the fireplace, Lucius put his wand back into the cane and reached under his mantle. His fingers touched the _other_ wand and he felt yet another wave of guilt washing over him. _No. Severus has nobody to blame but himself. This is his doing, not mine._ He drew the wand out and looked at it. It looked a bit like his own, made of black wood with an elegant design. The only real difference was that the handle of Severus' wand was not made of silver and shaped like a serpent's head, instead looking more like a sword's hilt. _It is a good weapon_, Lucius admitted to himself_._

Millicent Bagnold threw some Floo-powder into the fire and leaned towards the flames as they flared green. As she called for Crouch, Lucius looked at Rookwood and nodded.

The two of them moved swiftly to the both sides of the fireplace.

The Minister finally lifted her head and looked at Lucius.

"There," she said, "I did what you asked. Barty will come here any moment and he will arrest you. Are you pleased, Mr. Malfoy?"

"This is not a matter of pleasure, Madame Minister," Lucius replied honestly. "I am afraid, however, that I lied to you."

Her face paled. She took a step back. "No… no…" she whimpered.

"I _am_ sorry, Madame Minister," he told her. "But I have no other choice." He pointed Severus' wand at her. "_Avada Kedavra!_"

* * *

**A/N: **_Hey, guys. To anyone who's reading this, I want to tell you that I've been thrilled with the way this story is being received. It's the first fanfiction that I've managed to write in such a length, scope and detail and I'm very glad that you people don't seem to think it's utter crap. _

_Rest assured, there is a lot more story to tell and if I haven't run out of inspiration so far, chances are it's gonna be finished. _

_However, not everything is roses and sunshine. As some of you who have followed this story may have realized, I've updated it in a pretty quick pace – trying to do it least twice a week for 16 chapters is no small feat, but I've had a lot of spare time lately. I don't anymore. Sadly, even fanfic writers have to eat, as well as have pocket money for cigarettes, booze and the occasional helping of recreational drugs XD So I got myself a new job. And while that's good for me, it's not so good for my free time. Which in turn will affect this story. _

_Rest assured, I am __**not**__ abandoning it. It's not even going on hiatus. But I'm going to take it a bit slower. So instead of twice a week, I'll probably update it once a week from now on. So those of you who want to know what will happen with Harry and Hogwarts, Severus and Lily, the Malfoys and the Dark Lord, and so on, will still get to… just a bit slower than I'd like. I'm really grateful for each person who reads my story and I hope these news will not bum anyone out. _

_Cheers! _


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**November 7, 1981, Hogwarts**

Her lips were the most divine thing he had ever tasted. Her thick, coppery hair tickled his face as she straddled him and leaned over to shower him with kisses. Her warm breath caressed the skin on his face as she began writhing in passion. A throaty moan escaped him as she claimed another kiss.

"Lily…" he muttered. His arms encircled her, enjoying the perfection of her supple body. He had never felt so utterly happy and excited.

And then Severus woke up.

After the raging and the curses had quieted down, Severus decided that, despite everything, there was something to be thankful for. _At least my bedroom is remote and isolated. Nobody saw my shame._ It was much better to dream of Lily in solitude; when that was happening back in his school years, his fellow Slytherins used to mock him mercilessly. _Five years later and here I am, still waking here after dreaming of her. There is no hope for you, Snivellus._

As he was donning his black vest, Snape finally managed to get himself completely under control. He was meeting Lily and her son for breakfast, and then they were going straight to Dumbledore and out of Hogwarts. Before sunset today, Severus intended for them to be leaving Britain. He was going to be completely open about his intentions and route with the Headmaster. Dumbledore and the rest of his little club had to know that he and Lily were going to cross the Atlantic, heading for the wizard city of Salem where Severus hoped to find work in the local Institute. He was even going to ask the old man to write him up some references. _Of course, what they don't have to know is that we're actually going to Australia._ The remote continent lay so far to the southeast that Severus was almost hopeful that they would be out of the Dark Lord's reach. It had taken some effort to get Lily to agree to this.

_We were always different,_ Severus thought as he was buttoning the vest up, _but the years after we finished school made that even more apparent._ Lily was an open person. She no longer trusted in Dumbledore and was not afraid to let him know it. Severus, on the other hand, preferred to solve problems in a more underhanded manner, avoiding direct conflict. _No matter how much she may scoff at this, subtlety has its uses._

Besides, if the worst was to happen and the Dark Lord was to defeat Dumbledore and the Order, there wouldn't be anyone who could possibly betray them. Severus didn't doubt their loyalty… but every man had a breaking point, and once it was passed he would be willing to say or do _anything_ to make the pain stop. The Dark Lord was good at getting past that breaking point, and so were some of his underlings. _If they do win the war and get a hold of Dumbledore and his friends, it's better to sent them in a futile search across America. News will get out and this will buy us more time to prepare. _Severus had even began wondering about false names and new faces for all three of them. _I must keep Lily safe, at any cost._

He took a deep breath and looked critically at his reflection in the mirror. _Take a hold of yourself, you pathetic fool_. There were so many things that weighed on his mind of late… It was hard to believe that just a week ago Lily was still away from his life, that he was still the old man's spy in the Dark Lord's inner circle, that James Potter and Sirius Black were still alive… The thought of Black's death made him frown. His eyes glanced towards the man's wand as it lay on the small cabinet besides the bed. It was so unlike the one he had lost back in Knockturn Alley, and it continually reminded him of the man's death. _To think that I outlived both of them…_ Not for the first time Severus wondered what had happened to his own wand after his escape from Greyback's hideout. The Aurors who recovered Black's dead body never mentioned it, and he had more pressing concerns – like organizing the nearing escape alongside Lily – than going back there to look for it. _It's probably still lying under the rubble. Perhaps some cutthroat will find it and sell it for a few sickles and a pint_. Still, the thought gnawed at his mind. Wands weren't mere tools; they _chose_ the wizards who wielded them. It was a perfect connection between the power inside your soul and the magic conduit. A wizard or a witch could perform spells well enough with a wand other than their own, but there was this small, tiny voice inside your own head that insisted that something was wrong_._ Snape supposed that, from a certain point of view, the whole thing could be seen as _ridiculous_. _I finally got Lily back… but I'm also stuck with Potter's child and Black's wand…_ _Well, better get used to it, Snivellus. I appears that you will never get yourself fully rid of the Marauders_. He hoped that he wouldn't get some similar "gifts" from Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew as well.

Severus sighed and decided it was time to head out. There was much to be done and no time to waste.

The expression on Lily's face after she opened the door sent a clear message._ She is not pleased. Merlin, I hope she lets me handle it. Lying to Dumbledore is no easy feat._

"Sev," she muttered reluctantly as they were walking towards the Headmaster's Tower, "Are you really sure this is the best way to do it?"

"Yes," he answered quietly as they passed a few Ravenclaws who looked like they were in their 4th or 5th year. As they walked past each other, Snape realized in full just how deserted the school seemed. _It's for the best. The way things are headed, Dumbledore will make it a battlefield…_ And that was yet another reason to get out of here quickly. "Trust me, Lily. Just… let me do the talking."

Lily frowned and Severus could practically read the thoughts that swirled behind her beautiful eyes. _She doesn't approve of this. _He cleared his throat. "How is Harry?" he asked, if only to steer her mind away. _It's not as if I care about the babe anyway._

Lily perked up a little. "Narcissa came and took him to play with Draco," she said, "Just before you came. The two of them are getting along so well."

_Who would have thought it? Lucius's son befriending Potter's…_ If Snape was a betting man, he would have been sure that the two of them would grow up to become bitter enemies, and yet things have taken a surprising turn. Regardless, Draco was of no real concern to Severus. Even before he defied the Dark Lord, when he and Lucius had played the roles of close friends, Snape had taken little interest in the young heir to the Malfoy fortune and name – no more than common courtesy and the friendship to the father required of him. Maybe it would have been different years down the road, when Draco was more than barely a toddler, had Severus' life not taken a turn that drove him far away from Lucius. No, Draco was of no concern. _His mother, though…_

"Lily," he began hesitantly, "How much have you told Narcissa of our plans?"

"What?" the redhead bristled. "Do you take me for a _fool_, Sev?!"

Severus looked down at her. Back when they were children, he had been small and skinny. And during the first few years of puberty he had remained so, while Lily had started developing in height and body; it was normal for most girls to develop faster than boys. Now it was very different. Severus had become a tall young man and if he wasn't especially brawny, he wasn't a runt either. Lily was now both shorter and more frail than him. And yet her temper was still as fiery as ever. Severus remembered it well enough. She could be absolutely _fierce_ when she was wroth. So he now had to pick his words carefully. _It would not do to start a fight just before we enter the old man's office._

"No," he shrugged with what he hoped seemed a neutral voice, "I just don't think that we should trust her."

Lily considered it. "I trust her more than I do Dumbledore," she said then frowned as she saw Severus' expression, "But no, I did not tell her _anything_. Not even that we're going."

"Good," Severus nodded, pleased… but that faded quickly as Lily huffed and strode briskly forward, leaving him to follow as well as he was able.

_Oh, wonderful, it's like we're teenagers again…_

Lily turned around a corner and Severus followed a moment later. The sight that greeted him was not one he was expecting.

Just in front of the swirling stairway that led to Dumbledore's office, Lily had stopped and was looking in mild surprise at the Headmaster and the four Heads of Houses. She turned her head to look at Severus, her green eyes squinted in confusion.

Severus recovered quickly. "Why, Headmaster," he drawled, "We were just coming to you."

Albus Dumbledore looked at him gravely, his bright blue eyes wide with apprehension. "So you know too, Severus?"

Snape frowned. This was unlike the Headmaster. He had expected a witty retort, accompanied by the damned twinkle in the old man's eyes. _What is going on?_ He cleared his throat. "Know what?" he asked.

"We were just coming to your office," Lily added, "We wanted to speak with you." She looked at McGonagall, "What is happening?"

The Head of Gryffindor House eyed them somberly, her thin lips pursed with worry, and wordlessly gave Lily the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ she was holding. Lily lifted it up so both she and Severus could take a look.

On the first page, with huge print, Severus saw a headline that made his heart skip a beat:

**MINISTER OF MAGIC MURDERED!**

His black eyes skimmed over the photo of Millicent Bagnold and stared almost blankly at the text. She had been found dead in her office early this morning by Crouch Sr. The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement had stated that this was an assassination that was carried out by Death Eaters. They even had identified the killer because he had dropped his wand while the Minister had fought for her life. His gaze scrolled down…

… and he came face to face with an old photo of his, taken during the Yule Ball in Malfoy Manor three years ago. And atop it…

**HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WIZARD?**

Lily gasped in shock. She looked up at him. "Sev, what…?"

Snape ignored her for the moment and continued to read.

…_The culprit is to be considered armed and dangerous. He is known for criminal affiliations with the Death Eaters. The investigation of the wand left at the crime scene confirmed that Severus Snape is also guilty of the murder of Sirius Black who was found dead in Knockturn Alley on November the 5__th__. Garrick Ollivander confirmed to the authorities that the wand belongs to Snape and oversaw the Priori Incantatem. This continues the recent pattern of murders carried out by the Death Eaters…_

It went on and on like this. Severus' head was spinning. _No… no… We can't escape now… _He met Lily's eyes. She was looking up at him, frightened and confused.

"Oh, Sev…" she whispered, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," he admitted.

"Look at the bottom of the page, Severus," Dumbledore said softly.

He did so.

…_Recent investigation suggests that Severus Snape has gone in hiding. Witnesses saw him heading towards the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement is conducting a manhunt and has expressed concerns that agents of the Death Eaters may have infiltrated Hogwarts itself._

"Merlin's balls…" Snape swore silently and looked at Dumbledore. _So what now, old man? You're finally going to discard me?_ "So, what now, Headmaster?"

The old man sighed. "I'm afraid they'll come for you, Severus," he said. "And soon."

"So should I wait for them outside or would you prefer to hand me to the Aurors yourself?" Snape sneered. Lily gasped.

Dumbledore looked at him. And for the first time in his life, Severus felt that he was now staring at the real man. Not the amiable, funny Headmaster or the determined leader of the Order of the Phoenix. He then turned to McGonagall. "Pomona," he said, "Gather all the children into the Great Hall. Tell the prefects that they are to gather all their possessions and pack for home." She nodded and went. "Filius, Horace," the Heads of Ravenclaw and Slytherin looked at him expectantly, "Arrange for the Hogwarts Express to arrive at the Hogsmeade Station in the afternoon." They hurried off to carry Dumbledore's orders. "Minerva, send letters to the parents to inform them that the term is over and the children would arrive at King's Cross this evening."

As McGonagall went on her way, Lily turned back to the Headmaster and said, "What are you doing? You're not going to betray Sev, are you?" Her voice was dripping with hostility. Severus realized that it had made him smirk. _Look at her, trying to protect me. _"You _know_ he's innocent!"

"Lily, my dear," Dumbledore raised his hands in a protective gesture, "Calm down… I…"

"No, I won't calm down!" she cried, piercing the old man with a murderous glare, "Ever since I came here, all you're doing is telling me how I should calm down and let you in charge of my life! Enough! I'm not a student anymore! I don't know what madness has possessed Crouch but if you want to give Sev to him, you'll have to go through me too!" With that she drew her wand and pointed it at Dumbledore.

"Lily, wait…" Severus said softly. She looked back at him and his heart clenched in pain as he saw the tears that were starting to spill from her angry green eyes. Snape reached out a hand to her, slowly and hesitantly, and cupped her cheek, wiping an errant tear with his thumb.

She started crying then and threw herself at him, hugging him so fiercely that he almost lost balance. "I don't want to lose you, Sev," she sobbed, "I can't!"

The one thing that surprised Severus the most was that his mind did not jump back to that dark, primal place he expected it to after he realized he was holding Lily almost as close as he did in his lusty dreams. Instead, all he thought about was that the love of his life was in distress and he had to comfort her. Somehow. Severus knew he was not cut out for this. _Damn you, you miserable, pathetic idiot! Say something to her! _

"Lily," he muttered, "Lily, it's alright, I'm not going anywhere. It's alright. I'm not going to abandon you."

She looked up at him, "But what about _him_?" she nodded towards Dumbledore. "I won't let him take you away, I won't…"

Severus narrowed his eyes at the old man. Dumbledore was standing there, completely calm. He never made a move to defend himself after Lily drew her wand on him.

"Severus," he said softly, "Once I told you that you have earned my trust and friendship." Snape said nothing, still holding Lily in his arms. "You and Lily apparently do not think much of me, if you think that I will betray you to Voldemort. Yes," he nodded when Lily frowned in confusion, "through all of this, I see Voldemort's hand, hungry for revenge perhaps. I will not abandon you, Severus," he shook his head, "Nor you, Lily. I am afraid, however, that the war will finally come to Hogwarts."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**November 7, 1981, Hogwarts**

"Oh, Narcissa…" Lily groaned, her voice trembling with sorrow. "What am I going to do? He's gone, and it's all my fault!"

The blonde looked at her with worry in her pale eyes. She patted Lily's hand hesitantly and said, "Hey… Don't despair. I… I'm sure that everything will be alright. You'll see."

Lily shook her head and drove a hand through her red hair, sighing sadly. Even the sight of Harry playing with Draco on the thick carpet in front of them couldn't lift her spirits. _Lily Evans, how could you be such… such a bitch to him?! _

Perhaps this was what she deserved, a tiny voice whispered from within the depths of her heart. What she brought to herself. To lose everyone she ever cared about. Her parents were dead, her sister loathed her… _Yes, and James, and Sirius, and so many friends… _And now _him_. Suddenly, she felt like a cold finger slithered across her spine and she looked at Harry. _Will I lose him too, one day?_

She gazed down at her hand and had an almost physical reaction of self-disgust. _How could I?_ _After all he did for me, for Harry… _

Throughout her life, people thought of Lily as someone whose fortune always smiled at her. She was born in a good home, and never lacked for anything. Well, they haven't been _rich _like, say, the Malfoys or the Blacks, but the Evans family had been well-off. So many years ago, when she first met Sev, she could never even imagine that a child that lived so close could lack basic things like proper food and clothes. Later-on, she was often told that she was such a smart girl, such a pretty girl… And to top it all, she had been blessed with the ability to do magic. _Seriously, Lily, how many muggles could only dream to have that power?_ She grew up to become a Head Girl in Hogwarts, to marry a man as dashing and coveted as James, to have a beautiful baby… So many women would state with badly hidden envy that she was lucky… And yet…

…There was more than that. No matter how good of a childhood she had, no matter how well she managed to grow up… Lily Evans was slowly losing everything. It felt like she was bleeding to death, and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. And it was always her fault.

_If I was at home when Mum got sick… If I had stayed with Dad instead of running away with James… If I had shown Tuney that she was still my big sister, even if I was a witch and she was a muggle… _And James… He died trying to protect her… her and Harry, who was the prey that Voldemort was seeking. _Had I not married James and given him a son who would become a mass murderer's target, he'd still be alive. _So much guilt… _If I had spoken with Sirius… If I only managed to convince him to trust Sev, he wouldn't have tried to follow him and get killed… _And then, there was Sev as well.

Sev, who had been a part of her life for so long that she had never been completely and fully happy during those five years after the end of their friendship – not even on her wedding day or when Harry was born and cried for the first time, because even then she had felt that something... no, _someone_ was missing. Someone who was a part of her life, as much as she was part of his. _Sev should have been there. Had he been, I would have made him Harry's godfather instead of Sirius, even if James would have hated the idea._

Sev, who had been the first person to witness her blooming magic. Who showed her that this power something that was to be embraced and celebrated, not feared. Because of his assurance and acceptance early in her life, she had managed to adjust so easily to the Wizarding World when the time came.

Sev, who had begged for her forgiveness, only to get shunned and hurt. _And now I did it again. _

Lily needed to distract herself. This was unbearable. She turned to Narcissa who was staring at the children on the floor with a distant look in her eyes. _She is afraid too. To the Order, Lucius might be an enemy, but to her he is her husband and the father of her child. _

"Narcissa," she called softly.

"Hm?" the blonde replied absent-mindedly then turned her head to look at Lily.

"How did you and Lucius…" Narcissa frowned slightly, a thin line appearing between her eyebrows, "How did you two got together? I don't remember seeing you that often in each other's company back then." In his days in school, Lucius Malfoy had been something akin to a leader to the group of Slytherins who later joined Voldemort and became the Death Eaters that the Order of the Phoenix was now fighting against. Sev had spent so much time trying to get in his good graces… Narcissa, on the other hand, had always seemed like she was more solitary and quiet. She had often been side by side with her sister Bellatrix and their cousin Regulus, but didn't seem to be especially close to the other Death Eaters-to-be. The only times when Lily actually noticed her was when Sirius was quarreling with them. And that happened often enough, especially in the first few years in Hogwarts. And even then Narcissa seemed like the most level-headed one among the Blacks.

"Oh," Narcissa said and stayed silent for a while. Then a small smile appeared on her lips. "I always knew you Gryffindors were an awfully curious lot."

Lily blushed. "Sorry. It's none of my business, I know. It's just…"

"You want to take your mind off what happened earlier. I understand."

"Well, yes," Lily shrugged. "But it's not only that," she nodded to Harry and Draco, lost in their games. "Look at them, they get along so well."

"They do, don't they?" Narcissa smiled.

"And I thought, there is no reason for us not to be friends as well. If for nothing else, then for our children's sake. And it's not like we've antagonized each other, so I see no reason not to try."

"Neither of us is fighting in the bloody war anyway," Narcissa remarked and looked at Lily. "I agree, Lily." She looked around with an air that was giving the impression that Hogwarts was not a place she wanted to be in. "I could use a friend in this damned castle," the blonde muttered bitterly.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"You and Lucius. How did you get together."

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Fine," she huffed, "but I'm getting a story from you in return."

"About what?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

"I want to know how you met him."

Lily frowned. "James?" She thought that the whole school knew _that_ story. Then again, by the time she started dating him, Narcissa had already graduated.

Narcissa looked at her as if her feet had just turned into hooves. "No, not Potter, Lily. Severus. I want to know how you met Severus. You two were best friends even when you came to Hogwarts for your 1st year."

"Oh…" Lily was briefly lost in sweet memories, but managed to quickly regain her attention and composure. "Alright. But you go first," she smirked.

Narcissa shrugged. "As you wish." She sighed. "Back in school, I never really _cared_ for Lucius. Oh, sure," she waved a hand, "He was the most handsome boy in Slytherin, his father was rich and all that… All the other Slytherin girls fancied him like mad." That was true enough, and more, Lily thought. Lucius Malfoy had had many admirers in the other Houses as well, even in Gryffindor, the sworn enemies of Slytherin. "I, however," Narcissa continued, "found him to be arrogant and full of himself." Lily smiled, thinking how she had initially gained much the same impression about James. "That is," Narcissa smiled as well, "until our 6th year. I had made the mistake to agree to go on a date with Thorfin Rowle," she made a face, "Complete plonker, that one. When I heard the Ministry caught him and sent him to Azkaban last month, I was glad." Lily didn't say anything, sensing that Narcissa's ire was genuine. "Anyway," the blonde shrugged and continued, "It was during the winter break, and we had gone to Hogsmeade. By the time we arrived there, I was already bored out of my mind and wanted only to get out. Rowle was regaling me with made-up stories about how great he was. I guess he thought that had made me excited, because at one point he grabbed me by the arm, shoved me into an alley between two houses and tried to force a kiss on me." Lily frowned and opened her mouth, ready to say a few chosen words about this Thorfin Rowle, when Narcissa raised a hand to stop her and resumed her story, "It all happened so sudden and fast that I never even thought to reach for my wand. And then, just as suddenly, he cried out and _flew _up in the air like a bludger. I looked around and saw Lucius standing there, pointing his wand at Rowle. He slammed him into a roof and tossed him back in the snow. When the git managed to get up and see who had attacked him, he paled and ran like a cur," Narcissa's lips twisted into a lopsided smirk. "He came to me and helped me get up, and saw me safely back to Hogwarts. That's when I started noticing Lucius beyond his looks and his money."

Lily was actually impressed. _Who would have known?_ Lucius Malfoy acting almost like a knight in shining armor_… _ It sounded bloody ridiculous, considering what a nasty opponent he always had been for the Order. But the look in Narcissa's blue eyes and the uncharacteristically humble and pleased tone in her voice had convinced Lily that what she heard was the truth.

"So, this is when you started dating him?" she asked.

"No," the blonde shook her head. "That is a different story, for another time. Now, I believe, it's my turn. How did _you_ meet Severus? No offence, Lily," she shrugged, "but even back in school, you were the two most different people on the face of the Earth. I want to know how you came to be such friends."

Lily leaned back on her chair. Her hand came up to her face and her fingers started playing with strands of red hair. She recalled that day, on the old playground back in Cokeworth. But as she began talking, her mind drifted back into the sea of guilt that tormented her ever since this morning…

_**four hours earlier**_

The arrival of the Aurors was not what everyone had expected. Lily had thought that they were going to sweep the whole castle, trying to find and arrest Sev. She was fully prepared to fight them if needed. If Crouch and his minions was truly so demented to actually believe that Sev had murdered Millicent Bagnold and Sirius, there was no telling how badly things could escalate. Lily was certain of one thing – if worst came to pass and Dumbledore failed to protect Sev, she would go down with him.

So she paced around her room, gripping her wand nervously. Sev was sitting in one of the armchairs, having turned its back towards the fireplace. He was watching her, his fingers drumming on the chair's thick handles.

"Lily," he said softly. "Calm down."

She stopped in her tracks and turned towards him. "I can't, Sev!" she replied, "All I can think of is that they'll come and drag you to Azkaban. In fact," she frowned and put her hands on her hips, annoyed, "How can _you_ be so calm?"

He sighed and averted his black eyes. "Lily…" he said hesitantly, "I care not what happens to me. The only thing that matters is your safety."

"How can you say that?!" she cried, exasperated. Sev shrugged, as if the question itself was meaningless. Lily strode closer, "And even if you don't care, _I_ do!"

Sev looked away, his face twisting as if he was in pain. "I'm not so certain that you should," he muttered.

Sha stared blankly at him. "What?"

"Sit down, Lily," he gestured at the other chair with his hand, "There is something I need to tell you. In case the old codger fails again and they come for me. I would prefer you to know."

His voice was had always been a bit on the grave and serious side, but this time it sent chills down Lily's back. Sev sounded like a man who was wrestling with something horrible that was eating at him from the inside. Suddenly, she felt scared.

"What are you talking about, Sev?" she said, her voice trembling slightly.

He stayed silent for a couple of moments. "Did Dumbledore ever told you _why_ the Dark Lord targeted you?"

She blinked, confused. "I… I never bothered to ask myself. I always assumed it was because of the Order."

Sev grimaced. "Yes, you were certainly thorns at his side… but the Order of the Phoenix has other members, and he never bothered personally with them." He sighed. "I hoped Dumbledore would have told you."

"Told me what?"

"It's Harry."

"Harry?" she parroted, feeling almost lost. "What about Harry?" A part of her wanted to say that this was ridiculous, that Harry was just a baby and couldn't possibly be any threat… But she remembered how, back on Hallowe'en Voldemort had went after Harry. And later, Crouch Jr. kidnapped Harry, when he could have tried to assassinate so many key members of the Order under the guise of Slughorn… _So targeting Harry was not just a way to hurt me?_ Was it possible that for Voldemort and his servants, she was nothing more than an obstacle? Sev's words hinted at exactly this.

"Last year, there was a prophecy," Sev said slowly. "A prophecy about a baby born in the summer. A baby who will have the power to vanquish the Dark Lord."

"Sev, what are you talking about? A prophecy? This is inane!"

"You don't believe it?"

"Harry is just a baby!"

"Lily," Sev said slowly, as if he was talking to a daft person, "it doesn't matter if the prophecy is correct, inane or even true. What matters is that the Dark Lord believes in it. Which puts your son in mortal danger. And that puts _you_ in mortal danger." He drove a hand through his long black hair. "So even if I get arrested, you now know everything that the old man tried to keep secret. This is an advantage. Use the knowledge to protect Harry, and yourself."

Lily took a deep breath. _One of these days, I will finally go nutters. _"Who made that prophecy?" she asked. "And how does Dumbledore knows about it?"

"The seer was named Sybill Trelawney," Sev said. "She made the prophecy in the Hog's Head at Hogsmeade. Dumbledore was the one who heard it."

"I don't understand," Lily frowned. "How did You-Know-Who found about it, then? It's not like Dumbledore would tell him. Did he capture this Trelawney woman?"

Sev closed his eyes and almost groaned. Lily frowned at this reaction. Very slowly, as if he felt a physical pain from uttering the words, he said, "No. As far as I know, she lives here, in Hogwarts."

"But… if Dumbledore was the one who heard it, and she is safe here… How did it get to You-Know-Who?"

Sev sighed. "There was another man that night," he muttered. "He eavesdropped while the prophecy was being spoken. Then he went to the Dark Lord and told him."

Lily's heart skipped a beat. The way Sev spoke… "Who was it?" Lily asked, her throat tight and her tummy fluttering with fear.

"Lily…"

That gave her the answer. A tear rolled down her cheek. "Why?" she whispered.

Sev raised his hands, as if to defend himself. His face was a mask of desperation. "Lily…" he muttered, "Please, you have to understand, _I didn't know!_ The prophecy didn't mention you! It spoke of a child born in the summer, nothing more!" He tried to reach out to her, but she shied away from his hand. He flinched and lowered it down. "Lily, please," he begged, "I'm sorry!"

Suddenly, she couldn't look at him anymore. Lily rose up from the chair and went to the window, hoping that the grey autumn sky that surrounded the castle would help her calm down. She heard the floor creaking as Sev got up as well.

"Lily," he said, "The moment he targeted you, I went to Dumbledore. Then I found you. Please, I swear, I did not mean to betray you. I didn't know."

Lily felt so tired that she was suddenly afraid that she would simply lose it and keel over. Without turning to look at Sev, she said, "And what if he _hadn't_ targeted us?"

"What?"

"You heard me, Sev," she was rubbing the temples on her head, as if that could ease what she just heard. "What if he had targeted someone else? Surely there were other children born in the summer. What would you have done then? Would you still have gone over to Dumbledore? Would you still have tried to save them?"

"I… Lily, I don't get it…"

That made her angry. With a burst of energy that felt hot and demanding inside her bones, she twirled around and slapped him, right across the cheek. The sound echoed in the room. Sev stumbled backwards. There was only one other time when she had seen such terror in his coal-black eyes. And much like the last time, he had failed to understand. _Does he even know right from wrong?_

"How can you not get it?!" she roared at him. He stepped back, completely horrified. "You heard that a child was going to defeat him and what did you do? You went and told him, _SO HE COULD KILL THAT CHILD!_"

"I didn't know that he would go after you!" Sev cried in defense. "If I knew, I would have gone to you immediately!"

"And what if you knew that it _wasn't_ me and my child, Severus?" She demanded angrily. "What if it was Narcissa and Draco, or Alice Longbottom and her boy, or whomever? Huh? What would you have done then?" His lack of answer only stoked the fire of her anger. "That's what I thought," she spat. "Just like in the 5th year!"

"What?!" this time, she could hear slight traces of ire in the deep voice that now boomed at her. "_I begged you!_" he hissed. "I begged you to forgive me! I regretted calling you that name the moment it happened!"

"YOU STILL DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?!" Lily was on the edge of hysteria. "No, really, tell me! Why do you think I was so angry?"

He frowned. "I insulted you. Why else?"

Lily was stunned. _He really doesn't get it… Oh, Merlin… _ And then, as suddenly, as it had appeared, her rage dissolved. She shielded her face with her palms and took a deep breath, trying to slow her heartbeat down.

She brushed past him and sat back in the chair. "Sev," she said, "I never cared about the insult. Do you really think that I care about something as superficial as being called a _mudblood_? I am not ashamed of who my parents are. What hurt me back then," she put her feet on the armchair's seat and hugged her knees, "is the fact that you used _that_ to lash out. To you, that was the tool to use when you felt threatened and hurt. To you, that was the worst thing that you could have said to me. To you, the word itself was already something insulting and dirty. And to me, that meant that you finally became like Malfoy, Mulciber, Avery and the rest of them." She looked up at him. He was staring at her, his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but couldn't form the right words. _Just as well. It's better for him to keep his mouth shut right now_. "When you came to my aid on Hallowe'en, I thought that you had changed," she confessed. "I was glad to have you back, but I was even happier to think that you had realized how wrong your path was. Now I see that I was wrong."

Before Sev could answer, they heard a swooshing noise in the fireplace and an emerald glow bathed the room. Lily turned her head and saw Albus Dumbledore's grandfatherly face appear inside the green flames.

"Lily, Severus," he said. If the Headmaster had noticed the tension in the room, he made no mention of it. "Would you please come into my office. We must discuss something important."

Lily got up and went to the fireplace without looking at Sev.

When she stepped out of the green fire into the Headmaster's Office, she noticed that he wasn't alone. McGonagall was there too, and she finally saw who were the Aurors sent by the Ministry to arrest Sev. Alastor Moody gave her a polite nod. Behind him stood two men that Lily didn't know. One was large and black-skinned, his bald head shiny and his big arms crossed. The other was shorter and thinner, with a thick mane of tawny hair. Because of it and his keen yellowish eyes, he looked a bit like a lion.

"Ah," Dumbledore himself was seated behind his massive desk. His face was lined with worry. "Lily. Welcome. You know Alastor, of course. The other two gentlemen here are Kingsley Shacklebolt and Rufus Scrimgeour." They nodded in turn.

She heard Sev stepping out of the fireplace and almost turned to look at him.

"Moody," he said.

"Snape," the grizzled veteran answered.

"Don't worry, my friends," Dumbledore said. "Alastor and his colleagues are not here to fight us. They bring news."

"Aye," Moody answered and shook his head. "I never believed that they would crawl into the Ministry itself."

"Minister Bagnold _was_ murdered," Rufus Scrimgeour said, "The Auror office knows that you, Mr. Snape, were not the one who did it, but they just wanted to create panic with their little article in the _Prophet_. That's what dark wizards excel at."

"Who is the killer?" Sev asked.

"We suspect Augustus Rookwood," Scrimgeour answered. "Ever since Bagnold died and Crouch took her place, he's rarely seen into his own Department. He spends almost all of his time in the Minister's office."

Moody growled and spat on the thick carpet. McGonagall pursed her lips and sent a silent _Scourgify_ at it. "I knew that rat was up to no good for almost a month now," he confessed. "Never managed to get no proof."

Scrimgeour shrugged. "My personal suspicion is that he's keeping Crouch under the Imperius."

"But can't you do anything?!" Lily was aghast. She imagined the Ministry, infiltrated by Voldemort's agents. Who knew how deep the corruption went?

"We tried," Shacklebolt's voice was deeper than Sev's, and full of sorrow. "And now Crouch has imprisoned Frank and Alice Longbottom. They stand accused of treason. That's why we came to Dumbledore, Mrs. Potter."

Lily felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. Frank and Alice were two of the sweetest and most kind-hearted people she knew.

"I know Rookwood," Sev said. This time Lily turned to look at him, wondering where he was going with this. "He's a Death Eater, one of the inner circle."

"And you waited until now to tell us?!" Moody's gruff voice boomed inside the office.

"Alastor," Dumbledore raised a hand placatingly. "Severus told me long ago, but I insisted that we keep the information secret."

The veteran turned to the Headmaster, his scarred face twisted into a grimace of disbelief. "Why?" he croaked.

"I assure you, my friend, at the time I never thought he would do something like this. My reason was that it was better to know who Voldemort's spy was. Had we removed Augustus, Voldemort would have found another to fill his place, someone who was unknown to Severus."

Moody muttered a curse and shook his head. Rufus Scrimgeour cleared his throat and said, "I understand. Better to deal with an evil you know. However, looking at it now…"

"I made a mistake," Dumbledore admitted softly and looked down at his hands. "It's not the first one, my friends."

"Headmaster," Sev said and all eyes turned to him. "If I may, I see an opportunity here."

Dumbledore looked at him and raised his eyebrows. "Severus…" he muttered, "Are you sure?"

He shrugged. "With a bit of luck, we might manage to take Rookwood down and free Crouch and the Longbottoms. And if we fail, the war will not get any worse than it is now."

Lily frowned. What was he talking about? Sev walked past her, never looking at her. He stood in front of the three Aurors and brought his hands forward. "You found your assassin," he said, "Take me to the Ministry."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**November ****7****, 1981, The Ministry of Magic**

Lucius Malfoy stared blankly into nothing as he sipped his glass of firewhisky. Bagnold's eyes still seemed to haunt him. _Damn Severus,_ he thought as the alcohol sloshed hot on his tongue and he fought a cough. _He forced me to become a murderer._

That wasn't something Lucius was about to confess openly… but Millicent Bagnold was the first person he ever killed in cold blood. Oh, sure, there had been all those battles when he probably at least _contributed_ to people's deaths as well all the muggles he had overseen being given to the Lestranges… But Millicent Bagnold was the first time when he looked at another human being and single-handedly ended their life. He heard her last words, he saw the plea for mercy in her eyes, and he killed her.

And he hated it.

He shot a glance at Crouch. The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, who was now also the acting Minister of Magic, was simply sitting behind Bagnold's huge desk, gazing at the wall with an empty stare. _A remarkably useful spell, the Imperius,_ Lucius mused. _Perhaps I can use it if the Dark Lord ever falls… Yes, who can say that I wasn't Imperiused to serve him?_ He could say that he was targeted because of his fortune… And that wouldn't be even _that_ huge of a lie. _And if anyone doubts it, I'll just buy them off. Yes, the Imperius for me. Must survive this war, no matter what. For Narcissa and Draco. _

Well, for all it was worth, he _might_ have been Imperiused. _It's not like the decision was ever mine_. Lucius drank up the rest of the firewhisky and eyed the crystal glass. It was a fine craftsmanship. It reminded him of home and the way his father used to lock himself into his solar to drink himself half to death after meetings with the Dark Lord.

_And here I am now_. Lucius reached for the bottle of firewhisky, then hesitated. He shrugged, threw the glass on the floor, where it bounced on the thick carpet, and took the whole bottle. Crouch never even moved an eye to acknowledge this.

"How are you feeling, old chap?" Lucius tried to mock Crouch, but the laugh died before it even reached his throat. _Damn Severus. Damn Bagnold. Damn the Dark Lord._ And, regardless, Crouch didn't move at all, staring like a statue into the empty air. Lucius took a heavy swig, forcing the strong liquid down his gullet. "You see, Crouch," Lucius began again. The need for noise was just too great. He had to distract himself with something, _anything_, or else his eyes always tried to glance at the spot where Bagnold's lifeless body had fallen. The thick carpet was empty of course, the former Minister was carried out hours ago, but still. _Hours… It feels like ages to me. _"This is why your side will lose," Lucius punctuated his words by waving the bottle in his hand, "You always underestimated us," No response, no reaction. Lucius was disappointed. "Even your son. You always underestimated him. And so the Dark Lord welcomed Barty with open arms. He didn't hesitate to die for him. " This time Lucius thought that he glimpsed a bead of sweat trickling down Crouch's cheek. _Interesting…_

Just as he was about to pursue this further, the heavy door of the Minister's office opened and Rookwood entered. His thin, pock-marked face was graced with an ugly smile. Lucius grimaced. The spy was the last person he wanted to see. He raised the bottle in the air as a mocking salute and took yet another deep sip.

"Good news, Malfoy," Rookwood sneered. "I received word from Moody, Shacklebolt and Scrimgeour. Guess what? They have captured Snape! They're bringing him here in less than half an hour!"

Lucius frowned. "How did they manage to do it?"

The spy shrugged and plunged himself into one of the huge armchairs that adorned the office. "The power of conviction, mate," he replied cheerfully. "After all, we _do_ hold their friends prisoner."

Lucius took another swig. The firewhisky was beginning to blur all his thoughts into a single, warm puddle. _Perfect_. Though he still remembered what had happened earlier today. The five Aurors had charged into the office at Crouch's summons, wands ready for a fight with the Dark Lord himself. _Not that this rabble would have stood a chance_. Lucius himself had retreated back into the passage behind the walls and Rookwood had closed the secret door in the fireplace. And yet, when he pressed his ear to the stone, Lucius could hear every word that was being spoken. By that time, Crouch was already placed under the Imperius by Rookwood. When the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement had arrived and glimpsed Bagnold's corpse, he froze just for a moment, before he tried to whip out his wand and turn around. It had been too late. The spy was prepared and enslaved his mind in less than a second. And so when the five Aurors came, Crouch already had orders for them. The Longbottoms had questioned him. _Dumbledore trusts Snape_, they had said. _There must be some mistake._ And now they were locked in the Courtrooms, accused of treason. Their fellows had taken the hint quickly enough and hurried off to Hogwarts to arrest Severus. Lucius had feared that they may cook up some betrayal, but Rookwood had waved him off. He knew Alastor Moody too well. The veteran looked at most Aurors as if they were his pupils. Many of them had been. He would never risk Alice and Frank Longbottom's lives for Severus' sake. Or so the spy claimed. Lucius shrugged, vaguely aware how strange the gesture looked in the silence, and took a hefty swallow of the firewhisky. _This will all be over before nightfall._

"Very well," he said to Rookwood. "Did you take care of the other problem?"

"It's done. The Floo path is clear."

Lucius stood up and wobbled for a heartbeat, before he managed to compose himself. _You are not to look weak in front of such as him_. He could recall his father's brutal insistence that a Malfoy always had to look dignified and powerful. So Lucius straightened his shoulders and lifted his chin. He drew his wand and twirled it around himself, silently casting the Disillusionment Charm. The spell had an unpleasant feel to it as it spread around your body, but the firewhisky did a good job of dimming that down. _Well, at least it will allow me to walk unnoticed through the halls instead of sneaking around like a cockroach._

Rookwood smirked and turned his gaze to Crouch. "Up, you old sod," he laughed. "We have work to do."

The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement obeyed without a moment of hesitation. His gaze was empty.

The three went through the corridors of the Ministry. Lucius was walking in the middle, half a step behind Crouch and Rookwood. This way, there was no risk of revealing his presence by accidentally bumping into someone. _This is a new sensation_, he thought as a couple of witches walked past them and politely greeted the new Deputy Minister and even nodded to Rookwood. They never noticed him. This was unusual and just a tad unsettling, but one had to improvise to serve his master. _After this war is done, you will all bow to me anyway_.

The journey down to the Courtrooms didn't take a long time, but to Lucius it felt like an eternity. _I should have taken the bottle with me_. On the other hand, one never knew just how badly a situation could unravel. The Knockturn Alley folly had imparted this lesson on Lucius quite well.

Lucius took a deep breath when they finally entered the designated Courtroom. It was huge. The walls of black stone were so tall that one could barely see the arched ceiling. Rows of benches were leveled against each wall and the only light came from the torches that crackled all across the ancient hall. The Courtroom itself was empty. Well, at least if one didn't count the two people seated chained in the two chairs in the middle of the marble floor.

The Longbottoms looked at them with eyes full of animosity. Frank's mouth twitched in anger as his gaze found them.

"Crouch," the Auror snarled, "Unhand us at once. This is a farce, and you know it."

Crouch did not answer, but Rookwood laughed, "No can't do, mate. There's a trial coming."

Frank Longbottom huffed and shook his head. His wife spoke up, "And what are the charges against us? This lunacy about treason?"

Rookwood lifted his hand and started counting theatrically on his fingers. "Consorting with Death Eaters, obstruction of justice and possibly assisting in Millicent Bagnold's murder." He clicked with his tongue, "It doesn't look good, does it? Alas, we live in such times when Ministry employees turn out to be criminals."

Alice Longbottom looked at Crouch, "Barty, this is insane. And you know it."

Barty, of course, said nothing, but Lucius could notice a vein pulsing on his neck. _Could it be that he's trying to fight the Imperius?_ Suddenly, Lucius decided that he'd had enough of this. Rookwood enjoyed toying with the Longbottoms, but the game was too far from being won to allow a worm like him to gloat.

He stepped forward and with a flick of his wand removed the Disillusionment Charm. Alice Longbottom looked at him with wide eyes, full of shock. Her husband started cursing and twisting in his chair. "I knew it!" he roared. "I knew it! Rookwood, you bastard!"

The spy laughed in the Auror's face.

"Enough!" Lucius voice boomed in the empty Courtroom. "Augustus, go outside and wait for the others. It's nearly time."

Lucius had heard such commands many times in his life. Abraxas Malfoy had been a stern and demanding father. And he couldn't even compare to the Dark Lord. Lucius had learned how to force people to obey without the use of spells the hard way. It worked now, as it had always had. Rookwood gave him a dark look, but he _did_ obey.

Once he left, Lucius turned to the bound Auror pair who were looking at him with open hatred in their eyes.

"Just wait until I get out of those chains, you filthy, fucking bas…" Frank Longbottom groaned in pain when Lucius slapped him across the face with the back of his hand. He had neither the patience, nor the time for such melodrama.

"Frank!" cried his wife, twisting in her chair like a captured animal. "You _monster_! Don't you dare hurt him!"

"Shut up," Lucius commanded softly, wishing that he had taken the bottle of firewhisky after all. "I don't care about either of you. You are not important enough for the Dark Lord, and you're certainly not important enough for me. So spare me the curses and the threats. You had one purpose, and one purpose only. And it has already been fulfilled."

"And what _is_ this purpose of yours?" Frank Longbottom hissed.

"To be the bait," Lucius answered simply. He turned his back on the two bound Aurors and looked towards a fireplace that gaped in the black stone wall. With a flick of his wand it filled with crackling flames that added to the dim orange light of the torches.

"You're insane," Longbottom declared. Lucius turned to face him, an eyebrow raised. "Even if Alastor, Kingsley and Rufus arrest Snape and bring him to you, they won't stand for a minute to be extorted. You think we're afraid of you? You'll be kissing the dementors in Azkaban before you know it."

"Believe it or not, Longbottom, I _did_ thought of that. But when your friends come, I won't be alone."

"You think Rookwood will help you?" The Auror snorted with contempt. "That little traitor will slink off the moment he smells trouble."

"Who said I was talking about Rookwood?" _That_ shut Longbottom up.

Then the flames in the fireplace glowed green with a loud crackling. Just when Lucius turned to look at them, three figures emerged from the fire.

Lucius nodded at them and moved closer to Frank Longbottom. "You see," he said as Bellatrix and the Lestrange brothers removed their black hoods, "I am _more_ than prepared for your friends. The truth, Longbottom, is that none of you will leave this Courtroom alive."

Then he felt the coldness that rolled from the fireplace and turned back his head to look. _Dear Merlin, he did it... He really did it. _A pack of tall, skeletal shapes spilled forth from the fireplace, floating slowly in the air. They were covered in black shrouds and behind them rolled waves of despair. Frank Longbottom's face paled with terror.

Lucius took a deep breath and stepped back as the dementors started circling around the bound Aurors. Now all that they had to do was wait for Severus.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**November ****7****, 1981, The Ministry of Magic**

Everyone was staring at him. _They have all read the Prophet_._ I'm nothing but a murderer to them._ Severus forced himself to keep his eyes forward, never meeting the gazes of the witches and the wizards who were looking at them. He could still hear the murmurs and feel the glares.

He risked a sideways glance to the Auror on his right. Kingsley Shacklebolt was walking next to him, his big hand on his shoulder. Moody was leading the procession and Scrimgeour had the back. Severus thought that the black-skinned Auror looked nervous. He felt Severus' gaze on him and turned his head. Snape didn't need occlumency to read the thoughts that were boiling in the big man's brown eyes. _Do not fear, I will play my part,_ he thought darkly and looked down at his chained hands.

Suddenly, Moody stopped as a tall youth with bright red hair hurried towards them, shouldering his way through the crowd.

"What's going on, Weasley?" the veteran asked.

"I… I was told to inform you that Mr. Crouch is waiting for him in the Courtrooms," the young man said softly.

"Already ready for a trial, eh?" Scrimgeour grunted from behind.

"Nah," Moody waved a scarred hand, "He means to question him." He exchanged a knowing look with his fellows and Severus himself. Then he turned to Weasley. "Very well, down we go then. Was Rookwood with him?"

"I… I think so."

The old Auror nodded and headed towards the elevators.

Once the four of them were inside the lift, he turned to Severus and unlocked his chains with a flick of his wand.

"Do you have your wand ready?" he asked gravely.

"I do," Severus replied as he began rubbing his wrists.

"Good. We must be swift. The Courtrooms are connected to the Floo network. Once we take Rookwood down, you get Crouch and go back to Hogwarts. Immediately. You don't play at hero, got it?"

Severus frowned. "What about the Longbottoms?"

Rufus Scrimgeour cleared his throat. "You are not an Auror, Mr. Snape. You do not understand. We take care of our own. The only thing we require from you is to get Mr. Crouch to safety. We will take care of Rookwood and help Alice and Frank."

Snape shook his head. _If those dunderheads are what stands before the Dark Lord and dominion over Britain, we're doomed. _"I fear that it is you who don't understand," he snarled. "Rookwood is a spy, not a soldier. It is unlikely that he's working alone. What we have here is more dangerous than you realize."

"Why?" Moody grunted. "Are there more Death Eaters inside the Ministry that Dumbledore chose not to inform us of?"

"Not that I know of," Severus admitted, "but that doesn't mean that Rookwood couldn't have gotten help from the _outside_."

"Bah!" The veteran bristled. "I assure you, Snape, that the Ministry isn't as lax and blind as Dumbledore likes to make it out."

Severus chose not to reply. Just then the elevator reached its destination.

As they climbed out and started walking through the narrow hallway that led to the designated Courtroom, Severus felt a dark weight creeping slowly through his chest. They were utterly alone, for the first time since they entered the Ministry. What was going on? He shook his head. _I just have a lot on my mind, that is all. What happened with Lily today…_ Some fool somewhere had said that it was always best to speak the truth to those you love. _And what good did that do to me?_ Lily finally knew the truth. And despised him. _And so she should. I did betray her._ Sweet Merlin, why was it so bloody _cold_ here? Severus knew that the Courtrooms were deep beneath London but he could feel himself shaking underneath his black cloak. He looked at the Aurors. Moody was walking forward and so Severus could only watch his back, shoulders stiff and hands balled into fists. Scrimgeour and Shacklebolt looked about as uncomfortable as Snape himself felt. The vapor of their breaths was circling their faces like a silvery mist.

"Is it always so chilly down here?" Severus asked them. "Mind you, this is the first time I'm going to a courtroom."

"No," Kingsley Sahcklebolt said, a worried tinge inside his deep voice. "The Courtrooms are supposed to be _warm_." Severus didn't like that answer at all.

Then it dawned on him.

"Moody!" he hissed. "Get ready, I have a bad feeling about this…"

Then the hallway turned and bloomed into a massive narthex with a high ceiling. A huge door was barring the entrance to the Courtroom.

Before it stood Augustus Rookwood.

Severus had never liked the spy. There was something insidious about him, the way he was always so politely cheerful. His pock-marked face was always ready to flash smile at you, but that smile never reached his eyes. Now it was the same.

The cold was almost unbearable here. Severus' head was beginning to hurt and his vision darkened. He was used to feeling like this. Serving under the Dark Lord soiled the soul itself. Usually, he was able to cheer himself up by thinking of the happy moments he and Lily had shared so many years ago… but now all his mind could conjure up was the slap she had given him, the tears in her eyes, the bitterness of her voice. Severus shook his head, desperately trying to clear his mind.

Meanwhile, Rookwood had stepped forward, his wand drawn.

"Stop, Moody," he said. "I'll take it from here."

"Is Crouch inside?" the Auror nodded towards the door of the Courtroom.

"He is. He wants to interrogate the prisoner. Personally."

"And what about Frank and Alice?"

The spy bared his teeth. "Don't get cocky, old man. Give up Snape, and Mr. Crouch may be willing to negotiate about your friends."

Severus decided that he's had enough. "Augustus," he called. Rookwood's eyes narrowed and turned to him. "I think it's time to stop with the theatrics. I told them."

The spy's mouth twitched and he raised his wand. _Too slow,_ Severus thought. _And too late_. The _Expelliarmus_ he sent smashed the wand out of Rookwood's hand just before the beam of Moody's Stunner hit him square in the chest.

The Death Eater flew back and smashed against the heavy door, crashing them open. The four men ran inside…

… The reaction of the tidal wave of cold and fear that hit them was almost physical. Severus felt his knees weaken painfully and he stumbled forth. He shivered, his breath came ragged and raw from his throat. And yet he couldn't tear his eyes from the sight that bared itself before them.

The dementors were floating inside the huge Courtroom, a cloud of black despair given deathly life. Their shrouds were flapping in the freezing air. There were at least a dozen, all circling like vultures around two figures that sat slumped and chained in the middle of the Courtroom. A single glance at them was enough to Severus.

The Longbottoms were gone. Their souls consumed by the cold horrors that were hovering almost lazily around them.

His ears didn't register Alastor Moody's cry of anguish as he saw his friends. His eyes didn't follow the ethereal white-blue gleam of the lynx and the lion as Shacklebolt and Scrimgeour unleashed their Patronuses towards the dementors.

Severus' attention sank straight to the four figures that were watching from the benches that adorned the stone walls. Lucius and the Lestranges. Barty Crouch was behind them, his gaze empty and lifeless.

_Fuck._

Bellatrix was cackling madly as she watched how Scrimgeour and Shacklebolt were desperately trying to chase the dementors away from the shells that once had been Alice and Frank Longbottom. Her husband and his brother were not as loud, but the pain of the Aurors had clearly intrigued them. Lucius, however, stood up, fixing Severus under his gaze. He slowly climbed down. As he did, he drew his wand from the elegant cane. Severus raised Sirius Black's wand in response, ready to sell his life costly.

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

"_Sectusempra!_"

The spells literally collided into one another and for a heartbeat, the Courtroom was bathed in silent light.

Then everything plunged into explosions, shouts and the hissing of flying curses.

* * *

Moody roared and sent a thundering Blasting Curse towards the Lestrange brothers. Rabastan and Rodolphus managed to jump away. Rabastan groaned and fell on his side, but Rodolphus shot back a Killing Curse at the veteran. As Moody stepped away, the swirling green spear tore a smouldering hole in his billowing coat. The Auror seemed more angry than scared.

"Is that so, huh?" he growled. "Well, two can play this game!" he pointed his wand towards Lestrange. "_Avada Kedavra!_"

The Death Eater barely managed to dodge the lethal blast that pierced the marble floor behind him. His brother managed to stand up and said nonchalantly, "I thought you lot were forbidden to use the Unforgivables."

"Nobody here but us, lad," Moody grinned an evil smile. "And you _will_ pay for what you did to them."

Rabastan shrugged as his brother got up. "Well, that certainly makes it more interesting."

* * *

In the center of the Courtroom, Shacklebolt had succeeded in driving the dementor pack away from the bodies of the Longbottoms. Rufus Scrimgeour's lion Patronus had evaporated – now he was trying to climb towards Crouch and was casting Shield Charms at the same time, as he was under a constant assault of hexes and curses from the laughing Bellatrix.

* * *

Severus was fighting against Lucius. _So many years and now we're trying to end each other_. The man who had been his friend looked terrible. His face was ashen and his eyes had sunken beneath deep shadows.

"Give up, Severus," he snarled and sent another emerald ray towards Snape.

Snape levitated one of the benches and used it to block the Killing Curse. The wood exploded into a cloud of green flames and charred splinters.

"Why should I?" he answered. "So the Dark Lord can torture me before he kills me?"

"You brought this on yourself!" Lucius tried to hit him with a Stunner, but his aim was sloppy and Severus managed to easily sidestep the scarlet beam.

"And what would you have done, Lucius?" Severus shot back. "What would _you_ have done if he had threatened to kill Narcissa?"

Snape expected a biting retort from his former friend. _Something along the lines that Lily is not my wife. Or that I'm a pervert for pining after a mudblood. Something like that_. The blonde Death Eater, however, just bared his white teeth, reached behind his belt under the mantle and drew a second wand. _Severus'_ wand. He pointed both at Snape.

"He already did," Lucius muttered.

"You were the one who murdered Bagnold," Severus said with an empty voice.

"I had no choice!" Lucius used both wands to send such a powerful _Expulso_ at Severus' feet that the black-haired wizard was thrown back by the blast's blue wave.

* * *

Alastor Moody roared when a bolt of purple flame hit him in the face. He fell on one knee, but didn't drop his wand. The left side of his cheek was a bloodied ruin of seared flesh. His eye was gone. He grinned at the Lestrange brothers. The sight was horrific.

"That all you got, boys?"

The two Death Eaters looked at each other and said, "_Crucio!_"

Then the veteran started screaming in pain.

Kingsley Shacklebolt heard his friend's cry of anguish and turned his head. He turned his back on the dementors, leaving the silvery lynx Patronus to chase them through the air and ran back towards the middle of the Courtroom.

"Alastor!" he cried.

Rabastan Lestrange turned his head and sent a lazy Killing Curse at the younger Auror. Shacklebolt literally _lunged _forward, rolling on the floor just millimeters under the green ray. His momentum carried him forward and he tackled the Death Eater before he could launch another offensive. Kingsley's big hand coiled into a fist and he smashed it against Lestrange's face without a moment of hesitation.

That disctracted Rodolphus, he stopped torturing Moody and turned his wand towards Shacklebolt.

"_Avada…_"

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

A flash of green and Rodolphus Lestrange fell down like a doll.

Shacklebolt looked at Moody. The older man's face was a nightmare. But the frightening thing was not the terrible wound or the missing eye. It was the look in his _other_ eye. The look of pure hatred and rage. And the triumphant grimace. He still gripped his wand, pointed towards Rodolphus Lestrange's corpse.

"Help me get up!" barked Moody. "We have three more to take care of."

* * *

Scrimgeour was not faring well against Bellatrix. The mad witch had taken control over Crouch's already Imperiused mind and was using him like a puppet to distract the Auror and shield herself from his attacks.

"Merlin's balls!" Scrimgeour swore angrily as he jumped behind a bench to evade a ball of crackling yellow fire.

He didn't dare to use excessive force against Crouch. The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was a victim in all of this. Worse, he was his _boss_. But Bellatrix Lestrange was determined not to leave him with a way out.

"Come out, come out, little Auror!" she cackled. "Or are you afraid to play with Barty and me?"

"Oh, _bugger it!_" Rufus Scrimgeour got up and pointed his wand at Crouch. "_Stupefy!_" He almost winced when the old man flew back the steps and rolled towards the marble floor. Now he could take care of the bloody bitch…

Suddenly, the Auror felt a horrible cold. He turned around. Kingsley Shacklebolt's Patronus had lost control over the dementors and the damned creatures had dispersed all around the Courtroom, seeking prey. One was floating straight at Scrimgeour.

"_Expecto Patronum!_" he roared. The dementor seemed almost surprised when the silvery lion materialized in thin air and pounced at it with claws and fangs of bright light.

Scrimgeour turned…

… And found himself face to face with another dementor. The thing had managed to sneak behind him. Before he could even raise his wand, the dementor closed in. The rattling breath of the creature and its decaying skin underneath the black shroud were disgusting… but weren't nearly half as bad as the cold. Rufus Scrimgeour could faintly hear Bellatrix's voice, then he thought he glimpsed a flash of green light and then there was only blackness.

* * *

Severus scrambled to get back on his feet. His ears were ringing. His head was spinning. The _Expulso_ that Lucius had thrown at him had dug out a crater in the marble. He could barely make out the form of Lucius through the smoke, but he knew that he was prepared for another attack. There was only one thing he could do.

"_Oppungo!_" he muttered, pointing at the smouldering rabble, then at Lucius.

When the stones swirled in the air like a flock of birds, Lucius looked puzzled for a moment. Then they _shot_ themselves at him and he stepped back in panic. A few managed to hit him, drawing grunts of pain from the blonde Death Eater. He quickly threw up a Shield Charm, but the respite was enough for Severus.

He got up and looked around. What he saw was not to his liking. Crouch Sr. was lying on the marble floor below. He was just unconscious, if one cared to notice his shallow breathing. The same could not be said for Rufus Scrimgeour. The Auror had fallen on one of the benches and stared into the abyss with the calmness of the dead. Snape looked below and noticed that one of the Lestranges… Rodolphus, maybe?... also seemed to have met his doom.

Bellatrix and Rabastan were fighting with Moody and Shacklebolt, hexes flying around them in a flurry of lights and explosions. Even from afar Severus could see that Moody's face had taken the brunt of the combat. The veteran didn't seem to care and fought with a grim savagery.

Suddenly, something black and cold rippled on the fringe of Snape's vision and he turned around. Two dementors were slowly hovering towards him and Lucius. _Bloody Hell. Too many things at once…_ If Severus had to be honest, he wasn't sure what to do anymore. Moody's initial plan – to come in, incapacitate Rookwood and rescue Crouch and the Longbottoms – was now a worse ruin than his face. The Longbottoms have been given the Kiss, Scrimgeour was dead… and they still had to deal with three Death Eaters and Merlin knew how many dementors.

Severus' black eyes searched the vast Courtroom until he found the fireplace. It was even lit. Moody had assured him that it is connected to the Floo network. He looked at Crouch's body. It wasn't that far. _If I manage to take down Lucius, I might have a chance. But… _ He loooked at Shacklebolt and Moody. The Aurors seemed hard pressed. Moody was fighting valiantly, but the pain, the lost of blood and half his vision were not doing him any advantages. _Merlin damn them!_

Suddenly a bolt of red light flew past him and he looked back at Lucius. His former friend emerged from the grey smoke of the crater, still holding both wands in his gloved hands.

"Like I said, Severus," he said through clenched teeth. "Give up. And I'll kill you now instead of giving you to the Dark Lord. For old times' sake."

"How generous of you," Severus drawled, then shrugged and said, "_Accio my wand!_"

Lucius had not expected that. Snape's wand moved in his hand, with a force and speed that he couldn't defy. He stumbled forward as it flew from his fingers.

Severus caught it. It felt good to be back with it. He pointed it at Lucius and said, "_Expelliarmus!_" And just like that, the Death Eater was disarmed. Severus considered throwing Black's wand on the floor, but he stuck it into his belt instead. Then he looked back at Lucius who raised his hands up. He swallowed hard.

"Alright, Severus," he said. "Better you than him. Do it."

For a second, Severus thought that he really was going to do it. _The bastard deserves it. He framed me. He was going to kill me if our positions were different._ But he also thought of Lily and Narcissa, back in Hogwarts. Of Harry and Draco. _Oh, Snivellus, you're such a fucking moron…_

He raised his wand. Lucius closed his eyes.

"_Stupefy!_" The Stunner hit him right in the face and he flew almost six feet into the air before crashing through the benches.

_Well, he'll _live_._

The two dementors had gotten closer, sensing the anger and the sadness. The cold crept up Severus' body like death's breath. He took a deep breath, lulling his thoughts down. _Lily, think of Lily…_ And he did. He went back to that day, the _first_ day. The very first. The day when he showed her who she really was. Her smile, shining brighter than the sun. Her green eyes, the pools that he was drowning in since he was nine years old. Every time she called him "Sev", every hug she gave him. The time when they went into Ollivander's shop to choose their wands.

Severus looked back at the dementors. Without fear weighting his heart down. _They are not fearsome, not really, _he decided. _Repulsive, yes… but come on, a schoolboy could come up with something scarier than corpses in rotten capes. _ So he pointed his wand at the dementors.

"_Expecto Patronum!_" he uttered.

Severus had always been interested in the Dark Arts. But when one studied them, he also studied the means for defense against them. So he knew that the Patronus was nothing more than a magicked representation of the soul's emotional condition, a weaponized happiness of sorts. And as such it could change its shape according to its master's state of spirit. So it shouldn't have come as a surprise when the creature that appeared in the silvery gleam of the charm was not the snake that he had expected. _Lily? That's Lily's doe…_

Snape had never heard of two people sharing the same Patronus. What did that mean? Then he forced himself to shake his head and clear his thoughts. _Stop it, Snivellus. Not the place and not the time._ He hurried down the stairs towards the body of Crouch. Above his head, the shining doe was driving the dementors away. The dark creatures' breath was rattling in disquiet and hunger.

As he descended, he threw a look towards the fight in the other side of the room. Kingsley Shacklebolt had fallen, moaning in pain from a wound in his leg. Moody stood alone against Bellatrix, Rabastan and four dementors.

Severus moved in to help him. The Auror noticed him and roared, "No! Get Crouch! Crouch! Save him! Without him they can't control the Ministry!"

Those words, however, came with a price.

Bellatrix turned her head sharply and hissed, "_Severus!_" Then left her brother-in-law to deal with Moody and ran towards Snape, wand raised high and ready to aim with a curse the moment she was within reasonable range.

Severus couldn't lose any more time. He grabbed Crouch from the floor and started dragging him towards the fireplace.

The green ray of a Killing Curse flew above his head. He turned back and tried to cast his _Sectusempra_, but his aim was horrible and the spell crashed with a crackle on the marble floor. Snape could see the murder in Bellatrix's dark eyes as she raised her wand for a second shot…

… And then she fell back with a cry. A charmed rope had shot itself from Moody's wand, holding her in place. With a shriek of rage she turned back and started casting hexes at the veteran.

"_GO!_" he roared to Snape. "_RUN!_"

And Snape ran. One step, then another, and another, and he was at the fireplace. He saw the bag of Floo powder, threw a handful into the flames, stepped forward…

… And everything around him exploded. The force of the blast threw him so high into the air that when he fell down, he could feel bones breaking and the air being driven from his lungs. For a second his vision was bathed in a crimson mist of pain and he couldn't even cry out. After four heartbeats, each as long as the universe itself, he saw a thin, pock-marked face appearing above him.

"And where do you think you're going, Snape?" Rookwood snarled. Then his boot flew at his face and Severus lost consciousness.


End file.
